We all dream of meeting the perfect guy or girl. We probably have a whole list of things that “special someone” will have: good looks, fun personality, kindness, etc. We often ask God for help in finding that person, which is not a bad idea, since God really wants us to be happy.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber both pray. J B is open about the fact that he prays often. “Never Say Never”, his recent docu-movie, clearly showed him praying at diffeent moments. He prays with his family and crew before his concerts. He and his buddies prayed before sharing pizza (The pizza prayer was a real buddie moment: half funny, half serious). In his autobiographical book Justin clearly states he is a Christian and explains how some aspects of the Christian faith help him in his life.

Justin also took time this past year to make a pilgrimage (religious trip) to Israel where he wanted to pray at the places where Jesus had lived.

And every teenage girl knows “the Bieb” carries a tattoo on his ribs that spells Jesus’ name in Hebrew, a tattoo that his dad also carries.

Selena Gomez is Catholic. She and her family try to attend Sunday Mass as much as her constant traveling permits. She admits that her favorite times growing up were those weekly moments when they could take part in Mass as a family and have more family time afterwards. She says God is a huge part of her life.

Selena also made the news a few years ago because she was wearing a chastity ring. She explained that it was promise that she wanted to make to God when she was 13. She had asked her dad to buy her this ring and she took it to a Catholic priest to have it blessed.

Selena isn’t wearing the chastity ring any more. Many say it’s because she felt that she could’t keep that promise any longer. They say that she and Justin have already “done it”.

Others say the ring restricted her fashion choices.  Selena is in huge demand for fashion shoots and has to change her look slightly for every shoot. So the ring was too restricting.

But it is clear that Selena grew up asking God to help her meet the right guy, and the chastity ring was part of that.

Maybe Selena has found the right guy. Maybe she hasn’t. That’s up to her. In a recent Teen Vogue interview Selena explained that now that she is 18 she very much wants to fall in love but is not sure if her first 18 year old love will be the person she eventually marries. All the paparrazzi photos seem to confirm that she is in love… and that her love is J. B.

So, if she and Justin want it to last, what should they do?

Well, first of all they should really try not to go too far. If they already have (We are all weak when we are with someone to whom we find a really attracted, so we know we have to be careful.) they should set some boundaries, so that the physical aspect of the relationship is kept under control until they actually commit to each other (By commitment I mean getting married.)

Sex is good, and it is designed by God to help us fall more in love with the person we have committed our lives to, the person with whom we want to be with for the rest of our lives, the person we want be the father or mother of our children.

But because we are weak we often want to “have desert” before “the main course”. The main course means building up a really strong friendship and mutual respect. It involves spending time with that special someone without letting the physical attraction make us lose our heads before it’s time.

The fireworks are a beautiful part of love, but they only last for a while if they are not founded on something bigger, something more than physical attraction. What lasts is mutual respect, mutual esteem. These things help keep the flame alive and active even when the original “intoxication” of love (This stage of love is usually called infatuation.) begins to wear off. Mutual respect and esteem also help to revive the “intoxication” experience when it grows dim.

So, be careful, Selena and Justin. Spend time together. Learn to listen to each other. Find out what you agree on. Find out where you disagree. Have some fights.

Yes, I am serious! Find out what things you don’t agree on. It’s OK to have disagreements and see if you can work things out, respecting the opinion and values of the other person without compromising your own. It helps the relationship to mature.

Also find out what aspects of your own personality you need to improve to make the relationship work.

Find out what aspects and values are not worth giving up just to please the other person.

Then, if you are going to make the relationship last you will need to cut back on the constant traveling. We all have a right to have a career. We all have a right to travel. But in order to make love last we need to be around for the one we love. That is a tough sacrifice when your career is so successful and the career demands constant traveling.

It’s seems to me that at this stage you are probably not ready to make this kind of sacrifice, Selena and Justin, and you both seem to know it. So keep scheduling time together. That’s good, really good.

But if you are going to take it to the next level you need to talk about the sacrifices you are going to have to make in a few years. And a few years come sooner than we think.

So this romance is going to be pretty difficult…

But, …wait.

Justin has said that he wants to be married and start a family by the time he is 25.

There’s something for you two to talk about, Selena and Justin. Talk about it privately. No pressure. Figure out if  you are serious about this. Do you and Selena want to start cutting back on your careers in about five years? That would be totally cool… for your romance anyway (maybe not so much for your fans, but most of them would totally understand) It’s definitely something  that could make your romance turn into something more than a passing flame.

But you have to show you are serious about this. Start making real plans now, not just vague desires. Talk to your parents and your managers about this. But know that in the end it is up to you two.

Leaving successful careers is pretty scary. You’re only 17 and 18. And you’ve got a lot of future in front of you.

But you seem to know what you want. And wanting to marry a wonderful girl or a great guy is a really good thing.

Starting a family at 25 is certainly doable. It depends on how much you want to mature. There are many lasting and happy marriages that were started at that age. Very happy marriages. I know a lot of them. But it does take sacrifices.

Yeah, sacrifice. That’s the hard part of love. Sacrifice doesn’t mean we have to be miserable or give up all our dreams, but it does mean seeing clearly which are our most important dreams. What dreams are going to make us the most happy? Love is definitely a dream worth making some sacrifices for.

Jesus has a cool story about love. He says that when a man finds a treasure hidden in a field he goes and sells all he has in order to buy that field (Matthew 13: 44). Jesus was talking about love for God when he told this story. But it also applies to human love.

True, Selena nor Justin, neither of you should give up absolutely everything else that is good about your lives. You should still be able to perform. You should still have lots of friends besides each other. You should still travel.

Just that that these other good things will have to be reduced a bit. You might even want to go “cold turkey” for a little while (“Cold turkey” means giving up something totally for a while.), at least the travelling, just to find a new balance.

So, maybe you are not ready for this yet, but it is a good time to start talking… Let’s hope you do. I’ll be praying for you.

Reps for J.B. say he posted this picture on his site. Caption: “Brangelina 2.0 hahahaha”

Good movie about courage and doing the right thing. The hero is an underdog who is chosen for an experiment by a scientist who sees greatness in him: greatness of heart. The young man’s strength is not anger and revenge but wanting to stand up against any kind of bullies, be them the guy in the alley or heads of state. His dreams seem to come to nothing, but he seizes an opportunity when others are sure the situation is hopeless. Good movie about true heroism without looking for the limelight.

Lived her vocation, even after death

Zdislava lived in Lemberk, on the border of Europe and the territories occupied by the Mongols. During this time the Mongol Hordes were invading Europe, buring towns, pillaging and killing. Zdislava was married to the Duke of Lemberk, who was a fierce soldier. They lived in a castle fortress and her husband fought the Mongols. He was a rough man who loved to fight. He didn’t like to give to the poor or provide for the refugees of the war. He forced Zdislava to dress up in fancy gowns and sit through long, rowdy banquets with the soldiers.

Zdislava hated wearing the lavish clothes and the banquet feasts. She would have much rather lived simply and spent her time with their four children. Whenever she could get away with it, she gave food, money and medicine to the poor. She did her best to honor her husbands requests because it was her vocation, but she also did her best to do what was right even if he didn’t approve. Eventually, she convinced him to let her build a hostel for refugees and a house for religious.

Some of these religious told her of St Dominic and his Dominican order. She loved the idea of a religious community, but already had found her vocation as wife and mother. They permitted her to become what is called a “Third Order” Dominican, which means she would remain married and care for her family, while doing her best to live and pray like the Dominican sisters. She received communion nearly every day, which was uncommon at that time. During the day she would be a model wife and mother, but at night she would sneak out of the castle to build a new church on their estate with her own bare hands.

When she fell ill and died, thousands of poor and refugees came to her new church to mourn her. They grieved the loss of her help and generosity, but especially they were sad to lose her great example of balancing respect for her vocation of marriage and her family while still finding ways to do good works for others. When her husband the Duke saw this, he was greatly moved.

Zdislava knew that her primary vocation as a married woman was to get her husband and children to Heaven. So then, in one final act of love for her husband, she appeared to him in a vision in the glory of Heaven, to convince him to change his heart and follow God. He finally listened.

Her feast day is January 1.

(entered heaven in 1209)

Called from his comfort zone

St. William was born in to a wealthy and respected family. He had lot’s of different opportunities available to him as a young man. But William decided to live his life for God in a special way. He was drawn to the quiet, secluded life of a monk. He enjoyed being able to be free of the pressures of the world, and to work and pray peacefully with his brother monks for support. He also loved the very structured schedule of the monastery, and he excelled at his new way of life. In fact, William became such a good monk that he became the abbott (which means father, and is the leader) of his monastery. Soon after, another nearby monastery made him their Abbott as well. Word of WIlliams holiness and leadership abilities spread to many people in the Church. Then, the local Archbishop died. When they needed someone to replace him, the Pope and other local Bishops believed that William was the man for the job. He did not agree. He had grown very comfortable with where he was. He enjoyed his secluded life, and he loved being a monk and caring for the other monks. He had been very successful at this position and was afraid to leave it. But the Pope and other Bishops insisted that God needed him elsewhere. Many other priests in the area were very jealous of him, because they wanted to become Archbishop. This made life difficult for William. But William soon learned that God’s plan is always better for us than our own. His monastic training made him an excellent Bishop. Because of his experience training and caring for other monks, he was able to help and lead the priests of his diocese in a graceful and strong way. He helped to lead many priests who had begun to believe the Albigensian Heresy. These people believed that all physical things were evil, and only spiritual things were good. They were especially outraged by clergy who were rich or corrupt. Because of Williams monastic roots, he was able to persuade many of these incorrect thinkers back to the truth by his lifestyle, example, and training, as well as his love for creation and his fellow man. His deep knowledge and communion with God as a monk gave him insights and wisdom. He won over many of those who were jealous of him and converted many heretics back to the true faith of the Church. William learned that God has a plan for each of us that will lead to far better and fulfilling things than we could imagine for ourselves. He also learned that God makes use of our experiences and the things we’ve learned in life in our future vocations. When God gives us a skill or knowledge, He doesn’t let it go to waste!

Oakland Athletics minor league prospect Grant Desme was on fire in 2009. He hit 31 homers and 89 RBIs with a .288 batting average in 131 games. Then he threw down an MVP performance in the Arizona Fall League, where some of baseball’s top AA and AAA prospects compete. In an unprecedented display of power during the 27 game season, Grant batted .315, hit a league-leading 11 homers, and drove in 27 runs! During an 11 game hitting streak from October 14-28, he hit 10 homers in 10 games.

This kind of success meant a move up to Class AA for the 2010 season, just two steps away from the Major Leagues. But with his chances of being a major league player now as real and close as the smell of his leather glove, Grant Desme shocked the baseball world. No, it wasn’t by crushing a home run or making a spectacular diving catch. He informed the Oakland Athletics that he was retiring at just 23 years old…

…to become a Catholic priest. People who didn’t know Grant may have thought this was a joke or a publicity stunt. However, Rob Fai, Assistant manager for the Oakland affiliate in Vancouver, BC, isn’t surprised about Grant Desme’s choice: “If you know Grant, the spiritual side of his life has always been a priority.”

Get in the Game

Gregory Grant Desme was born April 4, 1986, in Bakersfield, California. He attended Stockdale High School and was an all-area baseball selection his Junior and Senior year. “For my entire life, baseball’s been my life,” Grant told the LA Times. Like most young athletes, he grew up dreaming of being a professional player and one day being in the Hall of Fame.

It takes a serious amount of practice and dedication to reach this level in a sport, and growing up Grant devoted every available second he had to working on his baseball skills. In an interview with Catholic.org he said, “I could never get enough baseball in my life.”

After playing for San Diego State University, and later for California Polytech State University, he was drafted in the second round by the Oakland Athletics. He played the 2007 season for one of the A’s minor league teams, but was injured early in the 2008 season.

Time Out

Grant suffered a separated shoulder which allowed him to play only 2 games in 2008. For the first time since his childhood, he had to live life without baseball. He finally got to think about who he really wanted to be and what he really wanted out of life.

“My injuries were the biggest blessings that God’s ever given me,” he said, “[…]I’ve defined myself as a baseball player. When it was taken away, it was kind of an eye opener, a real shock. Either way, if I played in the big leagues and became a Hall of Famer, you never know when it’s going to end.”

Reading the Signals

During this time, Grant visited an order of priests called the Norbertines at St. Michael’s Abbey. During this time, he had a chance to pray undistracted. He got to see first hand what it meant to be a priest and a monk, and what life is like when you are wholly devoted to God. “I started doing some soul searching about who I was, and this is where it’s led me.” The monks at the Abbey lead a life of quiet and prayer, something Grant found refreshing compared to the circus parade of public attention in which a pro athlete lives. “I could see that being home,” he said.

Grant felt a pull in his heart; a deep sense that God was asking something of him. This is called a vocation. Not only did Grant feel this calling from God, but he truly in his heart felt the desire to follow it. He quickly knew this was where he would find his truest peace and happiness.

Bottom of the ‘09th

Grant made an interesting decision next. He wanted to leave baseball on a different note. It would mean one thing to leave for the priesthood after a year off from injury. But he wanted to try one more season of professional play before he made his decision final. Desme returned for the 2009 season, and as you read earlier, it was an incredibly successful one for him.

On his nationally syndicated radio show, Dan Patrick asked Desme if he had trouble concentrating on the game while having already made up his mind to become a priest. Grant answered, “I still had my job to glorify Him, to use it to the best of my abilities.” It took a lot of patience, discipline, and self-control to keep playing well while his mind was on the priesthood. He realized that we must do our very best at everything to give glory to God.

Now Grant felt he could peacefully make his decision. Knowing that he freely chose to walk away from a baseball career, in the midst of success and not injury, gave Grant the last bit of assurance he needed.

The Slugger Fires a Bombshell

On January 22, 2010, Desme publicly announced his change of plans. He had called Oakland Athletics General Manager Billy Beane and told him that he would be retiring from baseball to enter a Catholic seminary in order to become a priest. Grant explained his choice to the LA Times, “I love the game but I aspire to higher things.”

Despite his recent professional success, Desme realized he wasn’t completely at peace as a baseball player. “Unfortunately this dream [of being a major league baseball player], as I became older, turned into more of an idol. I ate, drank, and slept baseball…”

During his season off, Grant had realized that his love of baseball had been competing with his love for God. Once he truly felt inspired to be a priest, Grant said it would have been selfish for him to keep playing baseball. “Baseball is a good thing,” Desme said. “But that felt selfish of me, when I felt that God was calling me more. It took awhile to trust that and open up to it and aim full steam toward him […]” he explained.

Training is Key

As physically challenging as Grant Desme’s road toward the Major Leagues has been, it’s prepared him for the challenges that he’ll meet in the priesthood. Grant is joining an Abbey where the priests are required to do lot’s of prayer, work, and private study. He’ll spend hours and hours of study and preparation for homilies and preaching. A priest’s day starts very early in the morning, and often he has to answer calls in the middle of the night, too. Along with his work at the Abbey, Desme may also be asked to perform additional jobs just like your parish priest: celebrating Mass, baptizing babies, weddings, funerals, and hearing confessions.

Right now in the United States, there is only roughly one priest per 1,600 Catholics. This number clearly shows that Grant has a lot of work ahead of him. He’ll need all of the patience, discipline, self-control, energy, and determination of a professional athlete in order to successfully meet the demands of his priestly duties.

When asked about having to start his “career” all over from the beginning, Grant said, “It’s about 10 year process of studying, so in reality, this is kind of a comparison. It’s like I’m re-entering the Minor Leagues.”

His Crowd of One

Professional athletes have a lot of opportunities to use their talent and public status to show God’s love to the world. Kurt Warner, Troy Palomalu, and Tim Tebow are all football stars who use their sports image as a platform to talk about God, and whose stories have appeared in other articles in Our Faith In Action®. You may have recently even seen Tim Tebow use his star power to put a personal pro-life commercial on TV during the Super-bowl XLIV. Grant himself had said that he could have given glory to God by playing baseball. So why would Grant Desme choose to give up his position of influence?

In his radio interview with Dan Patrick, Desme was asked if he thought he’d be able reach more people for God as a professional baseball player than a priest. “[God is] the one in control,” Grant answered, “and whatever He wants is going to be the best for me and for everyone else.” But it goes further than that.

Grant is not the first professional athlete we’ve seen forsake his career to follow God in this way. In the November 2008 Issue of Our Faith In Action®, we learned about Chase Hilgenbrink, a professional soccer player, who entered the seminary. Both men had very similar things to say about their experiences. When you get very close to God, you start to think like He thinks, and you begin to want what He wants. Once they had tasted that closeness to God, they truly wanted to be with Him and do His will more than anything else.

Grant Desme sums it all up very well: “I wanted to give my life completely to God for love, for everything He has done for me,” Desme said. “I’m very thankful for that. Something like this is very little in comparison to what he has done for me.”

You’re On Deck

We should be very happy for Grant. He has found something that all the money and fame in the world can’t provide. “Deep down, I think I knew it was the right decision,” Grant Desme said. “I can’t explain the peace and joy I’ve experienced from making it.”

We can learn a lot from Grant’s decision and the process he went through to make it. Not everyone is called to be a priest or a nun, but we all want to be happy and find peace. Grant found it by getting close to God, and allowing his heart to be drawn to what God wants. If we can do the same, God will lead us to that same place of peace and contentment.

Chase Hilgenbrinck playing for the New England Revolution

Prayer and Power

Prayer has power. It can change our lives. It can make us capable of doing what we had never imagined. In this lesson we will look at two examples of prayer and the impact prayer has on our lives.

Giving it all up

He had it all: a promising sports career, a pretty girlfriend, an exciting future. And he has left it all. For God. For others.

His name is Chase Hilgenbrinck. This summer he left his professional soccer team, the New England Revolution, in order to enter a seminary. Chase is preparing to become a Catholic priest. Let’s look at some highlights of Chase’s life and how prayer has opened him up to a bigger mission.

Seeds of faith and sports

Chase grew up in Catholic family in Illinois. When they were boys, Chase and his older brother Blaise were altar servers at their parish. Blaise liked serving Mass. Chase did not.

Chase serving as an altar boy… Not always his favorite activity… (Photo: Miike Hilgenbrinck)

They both liked sports, however, especially soccer. And they were good at soccer, so good in fact that they had to give up serving Mass, much to Chase’s delight, because they were on travel teams that spent most weekends out of town.

Their parents accompanied them to all the games, but also taught them that God is the most important person in their lives.

Chase and his parents after a recent game at Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary. (Photo: Mike Hilgenbrinck)

Surprise discovery

Soccer was Chase’s passion. He and his brother improved each year. Yet when he was a junior in high school, something special happened in his relationship with Christ.

He went on a weekend retreat with his parish youth group. God was waiting for Chase in that retreat. Somehow, through the talks, prayer, and activities Chase found a new relationship with Christ. He found Christ as a personal friend. Not everything changed in Chase’s life, but something new was definitely happening.

Soccer excitement

Chase made the US National 17 & Under team. (Photo: Mike Hilgenbrinck)

In high school, Chase made the United States 17-under national team. He began to travel even more.

Chase and his older brother Blaise both ended up playing division 1 soccer in college. Chase played at Clemson University, where he was a three year starter, playing on the same defensive line as future U.S. senior national team fixture Oguchi Onyewa.

The light bulbs come on

Often the values of faith are challenged in college. It was no different for Chase. But in fact college became a time of growth for Chase.

“I was away from my family for the first time. I no longer had to go to Mass, no longer had to practice any faith if I didn’t want to. But just out of habit, I continued to go. And actually, the light bulbs came on, and I realized what my faith was, what the Church was all about. I was paying attention in Mass. I started to have a passion for Scripture. That was the time I truly made the faith my own.”

New adventure

When he finished college Chase was hoping he would be drafted into a major league soccer team in the United States, but that did not happen. A coach suggested that he could probably play soccer in Latin America, and put him in contact with some teams in Chile.

Chase moved to Chile to try out for a team called Huachipato. He spent four seasons in Chile, with three different clubs, and grew to become a star player.

Lonely beginning

But the beginning of his professional career was tough. For the first six months in Chile he did not even have a contract. He was unwelcome by his teammates, because they saw him as competing for their jobs. He did not speak the language and had little or no friends.

Strength from passion & faith

But he had passion and he had faith. His passion was soccer. His faith was in God’s friendship.  He threw himself into his soccer training, yet he had plenty of free time after the practices and games.

He started to use some of the extra time to go to church and pray quietly in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There he found real peace and true friendship. He started to talk to Christ while he played. He talked with him at other times during the day as well.

Success

Little by little his career began to flourish. He started getting noticed, and he helped lead his new team, a team called Nublense, from second division to first division. Then in first division Chase improved even more and became a key player, well known on the national scene.

He also found a pretty girlfriend and, even though the relationship was not too serious, he started to think in depth about who he was going to marry.

A new horizon opens

But, as he found success on the field and in friendship, something else was happening. He felt the desire to excel in something even greater than soccer. He began to think about bigger goals.

These thoughts scared Chase, but he could not put them away. What mission did he have in life, besides soccer and marrying the girl of his dreams?

The thought of the priesthood started to surface. He immediately put up a lot of mental barriers. Still, the question would not leave him, so he started to bring it to prayer.

Struggle

For two and a half years he struggled with the question of his vocation, yet the thought of the priesthood kept getting more attractive. He found himself praying about his vocation even when he was playing.

One day he finally realized that all the barriers had come down. He was given the grace to really want to become a priest. The change had happened slowly. God had quietly, respectfully won over his heart.

The other part of finding out

But Chase knew that, even though he had kept his struggle private, the priesthood is not a private vocation. He needed the advice and help of a priest who had experience.

Chase prays with teammates & opponents after helping to win the Rector’s Cup at the seminary. (Photo: Christian Kendzierski/Mt. St. Mary’s)

So he contacted the vocation director of his diocese, Fr. Brian Brownsey. After a few, very long phone conversations, they both agreed that Chase could apply for acceptance to the diocese. Chase filled out a series of written answers and required essays about his life and sent them to Fr. Brian. Then he had to schedule a time to visit personally with Fr. Brian and do some in-person examinations.

Home

About that time, Chase reached another goal in his soccer career. American teams began to inquire about him. He decided to move back to the States and try his luck with the MLS.

When Chase went home at Christmas 2007, he met with Fr. Brian and also did the in-person interviews and tests to determine whether he might be accepted. He not only was accepted for entrance to the seminary, but he also was given a contract with an American soccer team while he waited for seminary life to begin.

Chase playing for the New England Revolution just before he entered the seminary

Chase played for a few months for the New England Revolution, and began to get noticed here in the States. Then came the surprise: he announced that he was leaving soccer to become a priest.

The REAL excitement begins

His announcement made headlines all over the world, but Chase is no longer interested in headlines. He just wants to be a priest, a good priest. The rest was fun, but this is truly exciting. This time, as a priest, he will be playing for keeps. The souls he wins for Christ will be the real winners. They will be with God for all eternity.

Gotta study your Latin before you check the MLS scores! (Photo: Kieran Darcy)

Let’s pray for Chase and for all those called to the priesthood. Let’s also pray that each of us lives our own personal vocation to the full.  Prayer gives us power to do that.

Celebrating the victory with seminary classmates (Photo: Christian Kenzierski/ Mt. St. Mary

Click HERE to read Part 2: Prayer, Struggle, and Victory

He is the number one soccer player on the globe. He has had thousands of adoring fans since he was a teenager. Now his fans number in the millions. In this lesson we will look at soccer sensation Kaka’. We will try to understand a bit more about his life and his values.

Champion

Ricardo Izecson dos Santos, better known as Kaka’, was born in Brasilia, the capital of Brazil on April 22, 1982. He presently plays for AC Milan in Italy. Even though he is only 26 years old, he has already won every award he dreamed of as a boy.

His accomplishments include leading his junior and senior teams to win Brazil’s soccer championship, being a member of Brazil’s 2002 World Cup Champion team, leading his Italian team to both national and international championships in 2004 and 2007, and being awarded the FIFA World Player of the Year for 2007. In May his AC Milan team just clinched another Italian championship.

For the Team

Even though Kaka’ scores many brilliant goals himself, those who really know soccer are most impressed by his unselfish play. He actually prefers playing in a support role (at midfield) rather than in the lead scoring position. He drives defenses crazy with his ability to do everything well: stealing the ball, dribbling, creating plays for others (passing and assists), and hitting deadly shots on goal under pressure. His quick smile shows he considers it aprivilege to play sports for a living.

More than a flashy smile

But Kaka’ is not the typical superstar. He does not flaunt his success and good looks. In fact, he continues to surprise the world by a different set of values, values that he learned in his family and through his faith.

He comes from a close and loving family. His nickname was given to him by his younger brother when they were children. Kaka’ continues to be proud of his little brother. In fact he used his first paycheck as a professional player to help pay for his brother’s education. His dream is that one day his brother can play beside him.

Finding Faith Young

Kaka’ s family is deeply Christian. They are evangelical Christians. Kaka’ claims his faith is what really makes him happy. He was baptized when he was 12 years old (normal in his evangelical church), and says that moment in particular helped him in his relationship with Christ.

“When I was baptized in 1994, something supernatural happened to me. I cannot explain it, but after that experience I got closer to God, more in tune with Him. At that moment I was really born spiritually. I began to know God more in depth, and I’ve learned that faith works within the limits of circumstances. I began having a Father to son relationship with God.”

Catholics Can Do It Too

As Catholics, our baptism, our First Communion, our Confirmation, our personal prayer time, our participation in Sunday Mass, and the many times we receive the sacrament of the Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) all help us live this type of relationship with God and deepen it as we grow. Like Kaka’, we should all have moments when our relationship with Christ grows, just as our heart and our intelligence grow as we mature.

Discovered

Like most Brazilian boys, Ricardo had been playing soccer since he could walk. He was discovered at a very young age. He was eight years old when he was invited to be part of the boys’ teams of Sao Paulo FC, one of the country’s most prestigious soccer clubs. He turned semi-professional when he was 15, not unusual for a soccer star in Brazil, and eventually led his youth team to the national championship. He made his debut in Brazil’s top professional league when he was 18.

Tragedy Stalks

But tragedy almost seemed to end his career when he was 18. He was at a water park while visiting his grandparents and fell from a water-slide. He broke a vertebra (a disc in his back) as he hit the bottom of the pool. Doctors said the fracture should have paralyzed him permanently. They said he was lucky even to walk. Remarkably, after a year, he made a full recovery, and came back to lead his team to the championship.

Kaka’ and his family have always seen his recovery as a sign of God’s mercy. “They (the doctors) were talking about luck and my family was talking about God. Back at home we always thanked God because we knew that it was His hand that had saved and protected me.”

This is one of the reasons Ricardo always raises his hand to the sky after he scores a goal. He knows that without God’s help, he would not be where he is. He recognizes that his success is a gift from God, a gift he can acknowledge or a gift he can misuse.

The Soccer Star and Courtship

Another area where Kaka’ shows his faith is by his Christian commitment to chastity. He believes deeply in what the Bible teaches about the true meaning of marriage.

Ever since he was a boy, Ricardo had always felt the beauty and attraction of marriage, and often prayed that God would lead him to the right girl. When he was 19, and already a professional soccer player, his dad introduced him to Caroline. Caroline was the daughter of a friend of his father. She was also a committed Christian. And she was very pretty.

But deeper than her beauty, Kaka’ saw something special in Caroline, something that brought out the best in him. Caroline became his best friend. They would talk often, and they would spend a lot of time with each other’s families. But there was something else they shared: a Christian commitment to chastity.

Their courtship lasted four years, and had to endure two years of separation, because Kaka’ went to play in Italy after their first two years together.

During those last two years, 2003-2005, they set rules about how they would stay faithful to each other. Kaka’ says he and Caroline considered this time as very important: “It allowed our love to mature and be tested.”

Italian Surprise

Even though Kaka’ was already a star in Brazil, it was expected that he would only play a minor role his first year in Italy. Kaka’ was hired for a team that already had several international superstars, including fellow Brazilian, Rivaldo, who had been the top scorer in the 2002 World Cup.

But something happened when Kaka’ hit the field in Italy in 2003. His magical passes and brilliant shots could ignite the team to victory. Much to his surprise, within a few months he became the acknowledged leader on the field, and Rivaldo, unselfishly, became his proud advisor. That year AC Milan won the Italian league and the European Super Cup.

Worth the Wait

After two years of separation, Caroline and Kaka’ were married. Their wedding was on December 23, 2005. Last month Caroline gave birth to their first child. Talking about their commitment to chastity before marriage, Kaka’ comments, “The Bible teaches that true love waits until marriage. If our life today is so beautiful, I think it is because we waited.”

Others on the Radar

Another value that is important to Kaka’ is helping others. He often does promotion for charitable causes, even at great sacrifice of his time.

Among the many causes he supports, one is the fight against world hunger. In 2004, at age 22, he became the youngest Ambassador Against Hunger at the United Nations. He travels to Africa and other poor parts of the world, including the poorest regions of his own country, Brazil, in order to promoteawareness of world hunger. He appears in television and other media advertisements asking for donations to help alleviate world hunger.

Not Afraid

As a Christian, another area that is important for Kaka’ is sharing his faith. He tries to give an example of sportsmanship on the field because he knows that others will be convinced by the way he lives, more than by what he says.

Yet he is not afraid to talk openly about his faith, and has encouraged other players to do so as well. In fact, when he retires from soccer he hopes to become a lay missionary in his evangelical church.

When Love Touches the Pockets

Kaka’ is also generous with his money. He donates 10% of his salary to his church, and helps other causes as well. In the Bible, giving 10% of your earnings to God is called tithing. Being generous with our money helps us realize that we are stewards of God gifts, not absolute owners of them, and that we have a responsibility for others as well. Tithing helps us live the virtue of thankfulness to God, and makes us less selfish.

Real Champions

What is in the future for Kaka’? As he will tell you, only God knows. But there is no doubt that his example is having a positive impact on the world. He is helping people think about deeper values and especially about their relationship with God.

Kaka’ shows us that love, faith, chastity, and generosity lead to a happiness and fulfillment that last beyond the thrill of the moment. Whether we are world soccer champions or simply the person next door, we can all be champions of faith, hope, and love. In the end it is these values that are the real championship.

Bible Blurbs

Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.

(Luke 12:33)

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.

(Matthew 5:14)

Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

(Matthew 5:16)

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive recompense, according to what he did in the body, whether good or evil.

(2 Corinthians 5:10)

Pope Quotes

Any tendency to treat religion as a private matter must be resisted. Only when their faith permeates every aspect of their lives do Christians become truly open to the transforming power of the Gospel.”

(Benedict XVI, April 16, 2008)

Do not cease to cultivate your own personal encounter with Christ, to keep him ever at the center of your heart, since in this way your life will be converted into a mission; you will let Christ who lives in you shine forth.

(Benedict XVI, August 23, 2007)

It is necessary to discern between what serves to build the “civilization of love” according to the design that God revealed in Jesus Christ, and what runs counter to it.

(Benedict XVI, March 3, 2008)

Catechism Clips

1723: The beatitude (happiness) we are promised confronts us with decisive moral choices. It teaches us that true happiness is not found in riches or well-being, in human fame or power, or in any human achievement - however beneficial it may be, but in God alone, the source of every good and of all love.

1656: In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith.

2013: All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

2347: The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows us.

Saints and Heroes

United in Love for God and Others

Blessed Frederic Ozanam and Amelie Soulacroix Ozanam

Frederic Ozanam and Amelie Soulacroix were born in France during the 1800’s, at the time of the Industrial Revolution. Both Frederic and Amelie grew up in families with a strong, Catholic  faith. Both had a great desire to show love to others.

When he was 20, Frederic, along with his friends, founded of the now-famous St. Vincent de Paul Society, as an attempt to do something for the many poor they found all over the streets of France. He said to his friends, “I am weary of words – let us act.”

Frederic was a very intelligent, restless man, full of enthusiasm and love for God and the poor. Amelie was the woman he was looking for: the perfect soul mate.

He met her when he was 26, as he was finishing his doctoral studies in the city of Lyons, France. He was invited (by a priest who was convinced Frederic’s vocation was to marriage) to have dinner with the president of the university. There he met Amelie, as the priest was hoping. She was the president’s daughter. Even though she was very pretty, what most impressed Frederic was that she was totally focused on attending to her handicapped brother. The kindness and delicacy with which she loved her brother deeply touched Frederic’s heart. He came back to get to know her better, and fell in love.

Before their wedding he wrote her a letter. He said he could not offer her riches and an easy life:

“Nevertheless, I hope that my gift, as modest as it may be, will be kindly accepted …: I give you the will of a man, an upright and honest will, the will to be good so as to make you happy.”

They were married on June 23, 1941. In remembrance of this day, Frederic made it a custom to give his wife a bouquet of flowers on the twenty third of every month.

They moved to Paris after they were married.  They lived their marriage deeply in love. They also brought Amelie’s handicapped brother to live with them.

In Paris Frederic became famous at the university for his ability to stir up a great passion for God and a great love for the poor in his students. Besides his work as a professor, Frederic continued founding chapters of the Saint Vincent De Paul Society all over France and other parts of Europe. He also wrote many books that combined scholarship with faith and received much acclaim. God did not spare him sufferings, though, and both his work and his writings also received many strong criticisms.

Amelie was there to support him and encourage him every step of the way. He found strength in her companionship and love.

Back then, medicine was not as good as it is now, and Frederic became sick because of all his work. After twelve years of happy marriage, it became clear that Frederic was dying.

Amelie, who had always worked to protect his health, cared for him with tremendous affection. She was with him when he died, on September 8, 1853, at age forty. She raised their only child, Marie, and continued supporting the work of the St. Vincent de Paul Society.

Today the St. Vincent de Paul Society is one of the biggest charitable organizations in the Catholic Church, with over 700,000 members.

Frederic was beatified by Pope John Paul II on August 22, 1997. Many hope his wife will also be beatified, and she has been included in many studies on saintly married couples.

Discussion questions

1. Have you ever seen Kaka’ play soccer? What most impresses you about his style of play? Would you agree with the description of his play in this lesson?
2. Is living love in our families always easy? In what ways does it help us?
3. What are some ways we can deepen our personal relationship with Christ, like Kaka’ did? 
4. Why is it important to have “strong moments” of closeness to God as we grow?
5. What do you think of Pope Benedict’s statement that faith should not be hidden? Besides sports, what other areas of society need courageous witness to faith today?
6. What do you think of Kaka’ and Caroline’s decision to stay chaste until marriage? Do you think it was easy for them? What sort of difficulties did they probably face frequently? How do you think they handled them?
7. What do you think of the phrase, “True love waits”? Do you think it fits with the teachings of Christ? Do you think it is possible in today’s world?
8. What are some ways guys can help girls wait until marriage? What are some ways girls can help guys wait? How can the way we dress, the way we act in front of others, even the way we have fun send the right or wrong message about our decision? 
9. Do you think that Kaka’ and Caroline will always remain best friends? Do you think they have a better chance of remaining faithful as spouses since they waited? Why is it so important to put a solid friendship and respect at the base of a lasting marriage? 
10. Do you think Jesus loves human love? If so, why does he set rules about it?
11. Do you think we should wait until we have a lot of money in order to donate to church or good causes? In what ways can generosity help us find true happiness? What does a generous person show the world about God?

Activities

• Have a debate about showing faith in public, such as during sporting events. Does it help others think about God? Is it a good testimony? Is it an important testimony? When is it good and when could it become counter-productive?
• Write a letter to your future spouse. (You can also write a letter to God as your greatest friend.) Tell your future spouse or tell God what type of person you would like to become in order to make him or her happy. Tell your future spouse some things you will do in order to prepare for that day when you will be together.

Virtue Verification

Acknowledge - to express thanks for; to state that one has received (a gift, favor, letter, etc.)

Alleviate – 1) to make less hard to bear; lighten or relieve (pain, suffering, etc.) 2) to reduce or decrease

Chastity – the virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason.

• “Chastity means the integration of sexuality within the person. It includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery.” (Catechism of the the Catholic Church 2395)
• “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2350)

Commitment – 1) dedication to a cause or long-term course of action 2) pledge or promise to do something;

Courtship – a time of relating with another, getting to know the person – and his or her friends and family – through friendship before moving into a dating relationship. Courtship (versus dating) teaches you to first be friends with a particular person for a good period of time before jumping into a romantic relationship. This low-risk, balanced approach to pursuing a relationship creates a firm foundation on which love can be built. (Definition courtesy Theology of the Body for Teens, Ascension Press)

Faith – trust in God; a personal relationship with God; trust in God’s promises and in Christ’s teachings.

Faithful- maintaining allegiance; constant; loyal

Generosity – quality of giving or sharing liberally and willingly; Generosity is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Generosity is sharing God’s goodness with others and responding to God’s love with the gift of self.

Hope – trust in God; trust that God wants the best for us, even in difficult circumstances; trust in God’s mercy and forgiveness; trust in God’s gift of heaven.

Lay person – In the Catholic Church a lay person is anyone who is not ordained as a priest or deacon. Most Catholics are lay people. Most Christians are lay people.  Technically, even Catholic monks who are not priests are lay people, but they are consecrated lay people, like nuns, etc.

Love – 1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; kindness, respect, and generosity towards others. 2) God’s tender regard and concern for all human beings. 3) devotion to and desire for God as our supreme good.

Responsibility – condition or quality of being answerable or accountable for someone or something.

Sacrifice – forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

Sportsmanship – ability to exercise the virtues of justice, truthfulness, kindness, respect and fairness while playing a sport.

Steward – a person entrusted with administering the goods, property, household, estate, or finances of another

Resources

Articles on Kaka’

• LifeSiteNews report on Kaka’ interview about chastity and faith
• Kaka’ Interview in Athletes for Christ
• “The golden boy of a golden team”: article on Kaka’ in The Independent 
• “Kaka’ able to see beyond the dollar signs”: Article on Kaka’ becoming youngest “United Nations Ambassador Against Hunger”
• “Milan put their faith in Kaka,” article in The Telegraph 

Catholic Athletes for Christ Web site

Article on faith during World Cup 2006: “Faith and Football”

Teen chastity support resources:

• Pure Love Club (seminars, research, chastity clubs) 
• Generation Life 
• Real Love Productions, Inc. (Mary Beth Bonacci) 
• Theology of the Body for Teens Web site
• Theology of the Body for Young People:  God’s Plan for You: life, Love, Marriage & Sex  
• Theology of the Body for Teens Podcasts