We all dream of meeting the perfect guy or girl. We probably have a whole list of things that “special someone” will have: good looks, fun personality, kindness, etc. We often ask God for help in finding that person, which is not a bad idea, since God really wants us to be happy.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber both pray. J B is open about the fact that he prays often. “Never Say Never”, his recent docu-movie, clearly showed him praying at diffeent moments. He prays with his family and crew before his concerts. He and his buddies prayed before sharing pizza (The pizza prayer was a real buddie moment: half funny, half serious). In his autobiographical book Justin clearly states he is a Christian and explains how some aspects of the Christian faith help him in his life.

Justin also took time this past year to make a pilgrimage (religious trip) to Israel where he wanted to pray at the places where Jesus had lived.

And every teenage girl knows “the Bieb” carries a tattoo on his ribs that spells Jesus’ name in Hebrew, a tattoo that his dad also carries.

Selena Gomez is Catholic. She and her family try to attend Sunday Mass as much as her constant traveling permits. She admits that her favorite times growing up were those weekly moments when they could take part in Mass as a family and have more family time afterwards. She says God is a huge part of her life.

Selena also made the news a few years ago because she was wearing a chastity ring. She explained that it was promise that she wanted to make to God when she was 13. She had asked her dad to buy her this ring and she took it to a Catholic priest to have it blessed.

Selena isn’t wearing the chastity ring any more. Many say it’s because she felt that she could’t keep that promise any longer. They say that she and Justin have already “done it”.

Others say the ring restricted her fashion choices.  Selena is in huge demand for fashion shoots and has to change her look slightly for every shoot. So the ring was too restricting.

But it is clear that Selena grew up asking God to help her meet the right guy, and the chastity ring was part of that.

Maybe Selena has found the right guy. Maybe she hasn’t. That’s up to her. In a recent Teen Vogue interview Selena explained that now that she is 18 she very much wants to fall in love but is not sure if her first 18 year old love will be the person she eventually marries. All the paparrazzi photos seem to confirm that she is in love… and that her love is J. B.

So, if she and Justin want it to last, what should they do?

Well, first of all they should really try not to go too far. If they already have (We are all weak when we are with someone to whom we find a really attracted, so we know we have to be careful.) they should set some boundaries, so that the physical aspect of the relationship is kept under control until they actually commit to each other (By commitment I mean getting married.)

Sex is good, and it is designed by God to help us fall more in love with the person we have committed our lives to, the person with whom we want to be with for the rest of our lives, the person we want be the father or mother of our children.

But because we are weak we often want to “have desert” before “the main course”. The main course means building up a really strong friendship and mutual respect. It involves spending time with that special someone without letting the physical attraction make us lose our heads before it’s time.

The fireworks are a beautiful part of love, but they only last for a while if they are not founded on something bigger, something more than physical attraction. What lasts is mutual respect, mutual esteem. These things help keep the flame alive and active even when the original “intoxication” of love (This stage of love is usually called infatuation.) begins to wear off. Mutual respect and esteem also help to revive the “intoxication” experience when it grows dim.

So, be careful, Selena and Justin. Spend time together. Learn to listen to each other. Find out what you agree on. Find out where you disagree. Have some fights.

Yes, I am serious! Find out what things you don’t agree on. It’s OK to have disagreements and see if you can work things out, respecting the opinion and values of the other person without compromising your own. It helps the relationship to mature.

Also find out what aspects of your own personality you need to improve to make the relationship work.

Find out what aspects and values are not worth giving up just to please the other person.

Then, if you are going to make the relationship last you will need to cut back on the constant traveling. We all have a right to have a career. We all have a right to travel. But in order to make love last we need to be around for the one we love. That is a tough sacrifice when your career is so successful and the career demands constant traveling.

It’s seems to me that at this stage you are probably not ready to make this kind of sacrifice, Selena and Justin, and you both seem to know it. So keep scheduling time together. That’s good, really good.

But if you are going to take it to the next level you need to talk about the sacrifices you are going to have to make in a few years. And a few years come sooner than we think.

So this romance is going to be pretty difficult…

But, …wait.

Justin has said that he wants to be married and start a family by the time he is 25.

There’s something for you two to talk about, Selena and Justin. Talk about it privately. No pressure. Figure out if  you are serious about this. Do you and Selena want to start cutting back on your careers in about five years? That would be totally cool… for your romance anyway (maybe not so much for your fans, but most of them would totally understand) It’s definitely something  that could make your romance turn into something more than a passing flame.

But you have to show you are serious about this. Start making real plans now, not just vague desires. Talk to your parents and your managers about this. But know that in the end it is up to you two.

Leaving successful careers is pretty scary. You’re only 17 and 18. And you’ve got a lot of future in front of you.

But you seem to know what you want. And wanting to marry a wonderful girl or a great guy is a really good thing.

Starting a family at 25 is certainly doable. It depends on how much you want to mature. There are many lasting and happy marriages that were started at that age. Very happy marriages. I know a lot of them. But it does take sacrifices.

Yeah, sacrifice. That’s the hard part of love. Sacrifice doesn’t mean we have to be miserable or give up all our dreams, but it does mean seeing clearly which are our most important dreams. What dreams are going to make us the most happy? Love is definitely a dream worth making some sacrifices for.

Jesus has a cool story about love. He says that when a man finds a treasure hidden in a field he goes and sells all he has in order to buy that field (Matthew 13: 44). Jesus was talking about love for God when he told this story. But it also applies to human love.

True, Selena nor Justin, neither of you should give up absolutely everything else that is good about your lives. You should still be able to perform. You should still have lots of friends besides each other. You should still travel.

Just that that these other good things will have to be reduced a bit. You might even want to go “cold turkey” for a little while (“Cold turkey” means giving up something totally for a while.), at least the travelling, just to find a new balance.

So, maybe you are not ready for this yet, but it is a good time to start talking… Let’s hope you do. I’ll be praying for you.

Reps for J.B. say he posted this picture on his site. Caption: “Brangelina 2.0 hahahaha”

Good movie about courage and doing the right thing. The hero is an underdog who is chosen for an experiment by a scientist who sees greatness in him: greatness of heart. The young man’s strength is not anger and revenge but wanting to stand up against any kind of bullies, be them the guy in the alley or heads of state. His dreams seem to come to nothing, but he seizes an opportunity when others are sure the situation is hopeless. Good movie about true heroism without looking for the limelight.

Bottom line: It’s totally cool how so many people unite to defend the heroine, Bella.

Positive value: Risking your life to protect the person you love.

Romantic and scary, the Twightlight series continues. I like the fact that Edward and Jacob sacrifice so much to try to protect Bella and make her happy. Bella’s desire to want to live forever with Edward is beautiful, but confusing. How can she want to become a vampire? Regarding the vampire family of which Edward is a member the series continues to highlight the internal conflict of people who have become vampires yet fight to overcome the strong instinct to kill and murder. Their effort is heroic, but Bella’s desire to become one of them is troublesome. In this installment she explains that she has always felt inadequate and out of place in the human world, so she thinks that her desire to be a vampire like Edward is the answer to that. Of course, it is not that simple, and Edward continues to try to change her mind. He is unsuccessful.

The subject of marriage is also discussed openly in this installment. Bella doesn’t believe in it, because of the divorce of her parents, but Edward insists that they must get married before they “do it”. I am definitely cheering for Edward on this one! Marriage is a life-long commitment, and deserves to be done in the right way.

“People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.”

“You can say that I love ‘Love’. It fascinates me.”

“Today Was a Fairytale”, a song Taylor wrote for the Valentine’s Day soundtrack, dropped the third week in January. It quickly became the most downloaded single for any female artist, shattering the record previously held by Brittany Spears.

But in spite of her amazing success, it seems that Taylor has remained a very down-to- earth girl. Recently, on January 26th, she tweeted: “I didn’t notice until now that the person who made my coffee today wrote ‘you’re wonderful’ on the cup. It made my day.”

Fearless Love

In 2008, Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless” topped the charts, selling more than 10 million copies. Swift has received more than 50 major music awards to date, including one at the Video Music Awards in 2009.

Everyone remembers that during that acceptance speech she was interrupted by Kanye West who felt a need to tell the world that he thought Beyonce Knowles actually deserved the award. In a moment of humility, the world saw Taylor show self control, kindness, and respect for the rapper who was saying humiliating things in what should have beenher shining moment.

Taylor Swift’s describes what was going through her mind during the encounter with Kanye West at the Video Music Awards:
“Wow I can’t believe I won… This is awesome… Don’t trip and fall…
I’m gonna get to thank the fans…This is so cool…
Oh, Kanye West is here… Cool haircut… What are ya doing there… Ouch…
I guess I’m not gonna get to thank the fans…”

After that moment, she went backstage and tried hard to hold back the tears, because she had to perform again. There was an outpouring of anger from other artists who called on Kanye to apologize for his behavior. Later on, Kanye personally called Taylor and apologize. She accepted.

“I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless.
Then, moving on and being alright, that’s fearless, too.”

From a very early age Taylor has shown herself to be Fearless. Her pre-teen singing talents were discovered through performing karaoke songs locally at fairs and events. By the age of 10 she was an award-winning poet. At age 12 she started playing the guitar. She practiced for many hours every day. She learned to combine her talents for writing poetry with her passion for music.

Her family was very supportive of her talents and dreams. They even moved to Nashville, Tennessee, to provide more opporunities for their daughter’s singing career.

By the time she was 13, Taylor Swift had a contract with RCA Records but Taylor left when the company tried to force her into a predetermined stereotype of a teen singer.

Swift had a strong sense of self even as a young aspiring artist, and she wanted to sing and write her own songs. Scott Borchetta, of Big Machine Records, heard her singing at the Bluebird Café and sensed she could become a powerful artist . He gave her the chance to write her own music with his record company. At just 16 years old, Taylor’s debut song, Tim McGraw, vaulted her into the music spotlight.

Respect

Taylor Swift, like all teenagers, is learning to navigate the world of love. That can be even harder for Taylor because she is a celebrity. One tool that Taylor Swift uses to protect her heart is self respect. Taylor believes in herself. In her music you can hear that her heart is full of ideas, hopes, dreams and heartbreak. She understands what its like to feel like you are invisible, and she understands what it feels like to have her heart broken by unrequited love.
“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.“
— Taylor Swift,
Rolling Stone Magazine
And through her music Taylor is able to express these feelings to her fans. Rather than needing to express herself by wearing tight or ridiculously revealing clothes, putting up an over-sexed image, or getting into & staying in immoral relationships with guys who hurt her, she chooses to move on and let go. In her songs, we can often find something of ourselves to identify with.
“My goal is never to write songs that my fans can’t relate to.”
- Taylor Swift

Relationship Rebellion

Taylor Swift is leading a very special revolution. It’s not a rebellion based on fighting parents and injuring herself through the same old predictable Hollywood patterns of self-destruction. Instead, she’s revolting against Hollywood’s demand that she destroy her mind, body, and soul in order to fit in with all of the other celebrities. Swift tries to live out her belief in herself and takes care of herself.
“I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I’ve rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that’s always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn’t remember who they’d made out with the night before. You see, I don’t ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying.”
– Taylor Swift to the Brittish magazine, Seven

Even though she rebels against the studio, Taylor hasn’t had the desire to rebel against her parents.
Taylor’s parents have worked hard to teach her about what is really important in life. On her 18th Birthday Taylor’s parents threw her a party in Nashville with 200 guests:
“This is our gift to her,” said Taylor’s mother, Andrea Swift. “She knows the real gifts in life are relationships.”
Taylor has written about the love she feels for her family in her music.
“I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out, he’s better than I am.”
– “The Best Day”
written and produced
by Taylor Smith
She also rebels through her music when she says that the guy who she’s dating and loves needs to treat her with respect. The idea of being a “princess” is frowned upon in our society at times. Women are told by modern society that being treated like a “princess” by a guy is a sign of weakness, and that they need to give that up if they want a success in their career. Taylor shows us that we can challenge those assumptions.
In her songs she says that she wants the fairy tale society tells her to reject:
“You’ll be the prince
and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story
baby, just say yes”
– “Love Story”
written and produced
by Taylor Swift
Swift works hard to show through the way she lives her own life that a real fairytale is possible by choosing to respect herself and by rebelling against society’s demand for self-destruction.

Express yourself

Taylor Swift is an example of someone who reflects confidence and inner happiness. In her songs we see the many rejections, not being cool & not fitting in; she fearlessly shows vulnerability.
“When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried
‘cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them”
- Taylor Swift, “Fifteen”
Taylor Swift wrote this song about her friend who let go of her self-respect to feel a moment of “love” from a boy and lived to regret it. Taylor saw her friend’s pain and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t let that happen to her. So instead of depending on others to make her feel loved, Taylor Swift has chosen to passionately pursue a music career and develop everything she has in her self – all of her talents.

What talents do you have? What are your passions?

“The lesson I’ve learned the most often in life is that you’re always going to know more in the future than you know now!” - Taylor Swift

So what have you done this week to build your fairytale future?

Ever since she was a small girl Miley Cyrus knew she wanted to perform. Her dream has come true on a level that has amazed even her biggest fans (her mom and dad). But is Miley promoting a healthy vision of being a performer or is she slowly abandoning Christian principles?

In this lesson we will look at Miley’s background and her values.

We will also look at what it means to be a Christian in the entertainment world today.

Miley Cyrus was born into a musical family. Her dad is a successful country singer. Many of her relatives are musicians, and she grew up singing and attending her dad’s performances.

But there is more to her background than just being on the stage. Her father and mother are very into family. Miley grew up spending lots of time with her family.

Miley explains that when she was born, her dad’s music career was at an all-time high. But when she was about one or two years old her dad realized that he was losing something more precious than success. He was losing his family. “So he let go his music career and moved with the family … to the farm in Franklin to be the very best husband and dad he could be.” (Miley’s words)

Miley has spent lots of time with her dad, her mom, and all her family as she grew up, and this has continued as she became a star in her own right.

Another value that is very strong in Miley’s life is faith. Her dream is to be a light in the darkness of this world, a sign of hope.

When Miley first met “Prince Charming,”, (Everyone claims that the “Prince Charming” is Nick Jonas, and Miley has pretty much admitted it.) he asked her about her values. She immediately explained that she and her family are “hard-core Christians”.

She says that her whole family has gone to church on Sundays since she was a child, but when Miley was in middle school the family’s faith took a deeper step. “Brandi (Miley’s older sister) brought us to a new church in Franklin. The People’s Church was different. It became family for us. The members of our congregation hold each other accountable for the way we live our lives…For the first time our family started making decisions based on our faith…The People’s Church really opened my heart. It has made me truly thankful.”

Miley admits that one thing that makes her sad is that not enough people know Jesus. She tries to take time to read the Bible regularly, and her recent book is full of her favorite quotes from the Bible. She has also said that Justin Gaston (whom she costars with in an upcoming movie) got her reading the Bible even a little bit more.(Boys can have positive points, sometimes…)

One way Miley tries to live her faith is by helping others. She visits children in hospitals as she travels, a habit she picked up from her dad. She donates a portion of her earnings to charitable causes, such as Youth Service America and City of Hope (a cancer care center).

She also tries to communicate her concern over contemporary issues such as global warming.

Miley also wears a purity ring, as a sign of her Christian commitment to remain a virgin until marriage. “When I got old enough and there were boys in the picture, I asked (my parents) if it was time for me to get my own ring (like her older sister Brandi). My mom gave me one that has a circle on it, to represent the circle of marriage. There’s a little diamond in the center of the circle for me, and when I get married, there will be another diamond added. But until then, it’s just me. And it feels right.”

“The press might make fun of some people for wearing purity rings, but I don’t pay attention to that. They can think what they want. I have my morals!”

But Miley has been in some controversy about whether she really understands all her Christian values.

About two years ago a cover shot for Vanity Magazine appeared in which Miley had her back to the camera and seemed to be nude. In fact she was not nude, but the pose gave that impression. Many parents expressed outrage that a girl who is presented as a role model for young girls could pose for such a shot. The image was sending the wrong message.

Miley and her parents apologized for the image. They explained that in the studio the pose did not seem that provocative, but after they saw the magazine they realized that they had been mistaken.

This past spring Miley tweeted about the Miss California “gay marriage” question.

On her Twitter page, Miley said: “Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares!

“That’s like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he’s gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy.”

We can agree with Miley that Jesus loves everyone. But Jesus tries to make us aware of sin: those things in in our lives that are hurting us and hurting our relationship with God.

People with same sex tendencies are loved by God. But, like all of us, they are also struggling with sin in their lives. They desire love, but are looking for it in a way that will not bring them true happiness. And they end up drawing other people into a a cycle of unhappiness as well.

Sexual impurity hurts the persons who commit it, and it hurts society as well.

Recently, Miley has been involved in a controversy about pole dancing and provocative clothing. It seems that some poses and wardrobe choices in her debut performance of “Party in the USA” (By the way, OFIA thinks “Party in the USA” is a cool song.) could easily be interpreted as too close to the setting of a strip club. These critics may have a legitimate point. It was imprudent of Miley to accept such a setting for the inauguration of the song.

Also, a number of people have pointed out that many of the wardrobe choices Miley has made on her recent tour have been a bit immodest or provocative. Miley certainly is not a little girl any more, and does not have to dress as a little girl, but is she pushing the envelope too much in the other direction now?

This brings us to a final discussion about what it means to be a Christian and a performer in todays’ world.

Today, it is not easy to understand that things like immodesty and homosexual relationships are impure and destructive. That is because so many shows, movies, and music present the opposite message.

In this atmosphere it is easy for Christians to get confused. It takes real wisdom and discernment to distinguish between loving everyone and approving destructive behavior. Maybe some Christian might be able to explain this to Miley in a loving way. (Know anyone?)

Few can doubt that Miley Cyrus is an extremely talented performer. She has a gift for communicating joy. It is a gift given her by God, and she has worked very hard to develop it. She wants to help people by her performances. She wants to help them experience joy and love. She wants to give them hope. And she does this quite well.

But being a performer can sometimes lead to sending the wrong message. Miley has sent a great message many times throughout her career. But, precisely because she is so full of joy, Miley does not always realize that some aspects of her performances can have a meaning she did not intend. This is where the virtues of prudence, wisdom, temperance, and courage come in. This is where a wise counselor might help a bit.

Let’s pray that Miley continue to look for Christians who are gifted with wisdom to be her friends and advisors. Let’s pray that her friends and advisors continue to help her live Christian values.

We all need constant education and encouragement on what it means to be a Christian. Let’s continue to pray for Miley and encourage her in the good things. Let’s try to set a good example ourselves of what it means to be a Christian in the secular world. The world needs many more messagers of Christian life today.

It was an exciting moment. Carrie Prejean’s turn had arrived to answer a question from a judge during the final round of the Miss USA pageant. When the question came, Carrie’s stomach turned. The judge wanted to know what she, as the reigning Miss California and the potential Miss USA, thought about “gay marriage.” She knew what the man wanted to hear. But she also knew what she truly believed.

Carrie wondered: should she give the popular answer or speak her conscience? She quickly prayed for guidance.

We’ll get to her answer — and its aftermath — in a minute. But first, let’s take a quick look at Carrie’s life leading up to the Miss USA pageant. That will help us zero in on the point of this lesson: True marriage is worth defending … even when it costs you dearly.

Young love

Carrie Prejean was a shy child but, in high school, she became a four-sport athlete. Her softball team won a national championship. Then, encouraged by her parents, she joined a youth group at her evangelical Protestant church. She found that she loved to learn more about God, his love for her and his love for everyone. This knowledge became a source of deep joy for her.

Her parents and her church also taught her that her faith and her values would be challenged in the world today. She made a personal commitment to Christ and to her Christian values, prepared to deal with the challenges this commitment would bring.

You really think I’m pretty?

When Carrie was 17, some people began insisting that she enter beauty pageants. “I didn’t even know what a pageant was,” she told the press recently. But Carrie had always liked challenges and trying new things. The idea that she could be competitive in a beauty contest stirred her imagination.

Going for it

Carrie isn’t exaggerating when she describes herself as someone who can be very enthusiastic once she decides on a goal. She got the name of a woman who helps organize beauty pageants and called her. When the woman met Carrie, she seemed impressed. She explained the basics of the pageant and gave Carrie some information to look over and some forms to fill out. So it was that, at 17, Carrie entered her first beauty contest … and won!

College!

In college, Carrie continued participating in beauty pageants. She spent her freshman year at a state school, but after prayer and discernment decided that she wanted to attend a Christian college. She transferred to San Diego Christian College, a school known for promoting a strong faith life.

Carrie greatly enjoyed her new school. She saw the environment of faith and intellectual challenge as an opportunity to prepare for the future: She wanted to be a Christian leader. She wanted to help bring Christ to others and make a difference in the world. Most of all, she wanted people to know the deep sense of satisfaction she had found through a personal and prayerful relationship with Jesus.

Reaching out

Besides her studies and her beauty pageant preparations, Carrie also got involved in outreach programs to the handicapped and the hurting. She took part in a ministry to women exploited by prostitution and pornography.

Beauty strategy

During this time, Carrie’s attitude toward beauty pageants was, “Just be joyful and be myself. Be happy with who I am and try to show kindness to everyone else.” It worked. Her successes mounted with each contest. This past November Carrie won the Miss California USA pageant. She was also voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.

Prepping

Winning the Miss California USA title was exciting in itself, but it also qualified her for the Miss USA pageant. She decided to take a semester off from school to prepare for the pageant. She worked out, followed a demanding diet and studied many of the topics she might be asked about.

The Miss USA pageant took place in Las Vegas over a two-week period. Only the last day of the pageant, April 19, was shown on national television. Which brings us back to the question that changed her life.

Facing Down Fear

As the telecast began, the host named 15 finalists. Several rounds of competition followed until only five girls remained. For the final round, each finalist would have to answer a question from a celebrity judge. The girls picked judges’ numbers from a bottle and Carrie ended up with Judge No. 8 — Perez Hilton.

This man’s real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. He is famous for his abrasive personality and insulting commentaries on TV and the Internet. He is also famous for promoting changing the definition of marriage so gay couples can get “married.”

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage,” said Mr. Hilton. “Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

This was a loaded question. Perez Hilton was setting Carrie up to either cave in to popular pressure or make a fool of herself in front of millions of people.

Or so he thought.

At first, Carrie tried to soft-pedal her beliefs. “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

But as she spoke these words, she heard a still, small voice speaking to her heart. Which crown did she want more — the Miss USA crown or the crown Christ wanted to give her?

She interrupted herself in mid-thought. “And you know what?” she said. “I think that in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman — no offense to anybody out there — but that’s how I was raised and … I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Media Firestorm

As Carrie spoke these words, an immediate reaction rose from the audience. Most people applauded, encouraged by Carrie’s bravery and honesty, but there were also some boos. You probably already know that Carrie lost the contest.

Afterward, a famous television reporter asked her about Perez Hilton’s question. Carrie was surprised that such a famous reporter would want to talk to the runner-up rather than the winner. In her mind, what happened to her was simply a side story. She soon began to find out that this was not just a side story. It had already become national news.

Digging up dirt

In May, a celebrity-gossip blog ran a photo of Carrie partially undressed. Her back was to the camera, and the image was not especially racy by today’s standards, but the organizers of the Miss California pageant announced that they were investigating. Carrie, they said, might have her Miss California title taken from her.

Speaking in her own defense, Carrie stated that she had posed for the shot when she was 17 and pursuing a career as a model. She objected to the release of the photo.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

She has also pointed out that she was “naive and young” at the time of the photography and regrets having made the decision to pose for that particular shoot. Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage — which works to keep marriage between one man and one woman — spoke out in Carrie’s defense. “You don’t have to be a perfect person,” said Gallagher, “to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

“You’re fired!”

The media circus followed Carrie around for weeks. Then, on June 10, the final ax fell. Carrie was stripped of her Miss California crown. This was the title that had gotten her into the Miss USA pageant to begin with.The organizers of the Miss California pageant claimed Carrie had not been cooperative in carrying out her duties. Carrie disputed that claim.

“They don’t agree with the stance that I took [on gay marriage],” she said. “They don’t like me. From Day One they wanted me out, and they got what they wanted. … I was very respectful of people even when they slandered me and humiliated me,” she added. “I have not once stooped down to their level.”

With these words, and with her acceptance of embarrassing defeat, Carrie showed the world what Christian forgiveness looks like.

A Crown lost, a crown gained

Carrie may have been stripped of her crown as Miss California, but she certainly can stand tall. She has been given a crown of courage, even if many mock her and call her a hypocrite. She has stood up for marriage at a time when it is extremely important to do so.

Marriage really matters. It matters for all of society. Carrie has done her small part to witness to the beauty and truth of marriage.

Battles ahead

What does Carrie Prejean’s future hold? That remains to be seen. She still has many choices ahead of her.

One thing is for certain: The battle for the truth about marriage will continue. Legal experts foresee a very heated and difficult battle, because, with the approval of gay “marriage” in many states, the Christian view of marriage may be considered bigoted “hate speech” by government.

We Catholics, too, will be called on to defend marriage. Will we have the courage to stand firm as Carrie Prejean did — even when it means losing something we have worked hard for? When we experience loss, we can remember that nothing is truly lost when we stand up for truth.

On the contrary, we help others. Let us continue to speak the truth with love. Christ will give us our crown, and we will know the happiness of having helped others with our lives.

Fr Jason Smith gave us this awesome Podcast on the Passion of Christ… Check it out…

It is a large file, so be aware it may take a minute to get started…

We like to think that we are really grown up when we can do our own thing. Jesus Christ challenges that assumption. Obedience to God is where the real power lies. It is a different kind of power: the power to set men free.

“By his loving obedience to the Father, ‘unto death, even death on a cross’ (Phil 2:8), Jesus fulfils the atoning mission (cf. Is 53:10) of the suffering Servant, who will ‘make many righteous’; ‘and he shall bear their iniquities’ (Is 53:11; cf. Rom 5:19)”

Obedience is not easy for us. It wasn’t for Christ as a man either. In Mel Gibson’s film, “The Passion of the Christ”, there are many moments in which Christ’s obedience to the Father stands out. Let’s talk about three especially powerful ones.

Agony in Gethsemani
“Let this cup pass… not my will but Thy will be done.” (Lk 22:39-42)

The Gospel of Luke gives a detailed account of the Agony. In the dark, Jesus has his battle about the apparent futility of the Passion.

First, what he is about to undergo seems useless because it is a suffering that human nature automatically rejects; for no one likes the idea of pain. Christ knows he is about to go through the worst type of pain that man can dream up for another man.

Second, Christ’s agony is increased because he realizes that his sacrifice would not work for some souls- those who refuse to obey God and their conscience.

Finally, the gratuitous nature of the Passion makes it seem senseless. It could have happened in another form. However, God wanted to show His love for us in this extreme fashion and wanted Christ to give us the maximum example of obedience: “unto death, death on a Cross” (Flp 2:8).

Back in the beginning of his public ministry, Jesus had been tempted by the devil in the desert. (Lk 4: 13). Jesus had been victorious over the devil in the desert, and the Gospel says that the devil had “departed from him until an opportune time”. That opportune time is now, when Jesus is to make His final decision to obey the Father to the last consequences.

That decision was made in prayer, as must our decisions. Here we find our Lord giving the perfect example of how to live our lives. Prayer is not a superfluous addition. Prayer is essential to human existence because we are creatures of God, in need of Him. We are not doing God a favor when we pray, but we are receiving heavenly favors from Him when we pray. This is called grace.

There was certainly the temptation of the devil for Jesus to abandon the idea of the Cross and obedience. The movie shows this very well. Jesus overcomes the devil again because He will obey God the Father. The devil always goes for disobedience.

The Scourging
“Father, my heart is ready” (Cf. Mt 27:26; Mk 15:15; Lk 23:16; Jn 19:1).

There are many moments to comment in this moving scene. First, Jesus does not resist when they fasten Him to the pillar. He is not fighting against the Passion, because of His love for us. He willingly accepts suffering to save us from eternal condemnation. He doesn’t scream and kick, or cause a scandal while they literally rip Him apart with their diabolical instruments of torture. It is horrible what my sins have done to Jesus.

There is an especially moving moment which meaningfully demonstrates Christ’s obedience. After the first round of bruising that they give Him with their switches, Jesus falls to the floor. That is the way the body reacts. When they relent from that onslaught, He realizes He is down and lifts Himself back up. “Father, my heart is ready”, He says. Jesus knows that this is the ransom for sin, and He is no sissy. Christ’s love for us is incalculable. “Why, one will hardly die for a righteous man -- though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die. But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (Rom 5: 7-8). Loving obedience and obedience for love, that is the mystery of the Christ’s passion and death.

Christ’s death on the cross
“Father into Thy hands I commend My Spirit. (Lk 23:46).

Some perhaps surrealistic happenings during the crucifixion and death of Jesus are depicted in “The Passion”. These are the attempts of an artist to show that all of creation was trembling due to the fact that God, the Author of life itself coming as Man, was being put to death by men. Though this happened in a specific place in the world, it was the sins of all of us that crucified Jesus.

The devil was thinking (his mind so obscured by pride), that this was finally the moment of his victory over Jesus and God. What a dreamer! Jesus, through His humility and obedience was willfully winning our redemption.

Jesus knew he was winning, even though winning meant living all the pain and loneliness that man feels in his soul when he sins. For this reason Christ quoted Scripture from that excruciating position: “My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me” (PS 22)? Then to fulfill the Scripture said: “I thirst”. He is obeying the Father, even through what was written about Him in the ancient Scriptures (because inspired by God) was horrible and full of pain! Jesus is able to recognize God’s will wherever it may come from.

Then He finally says the words the audience is awaiting Him to say: “Father into Thy hands I commend My Spirit.” By that time the tension is overwhelming. When will this torture finish? You feel it is not soon enough; too weighty the expectation.

Jesus wanted it that way. He does not measure out grudgingly his love for us and for the Father. He is not petty but magnanimous, because that is not the way his Father is. Jesus shows the depth of true love. No fair mixing in egotism or personal pleasures. Love is obedient and long-suffering. There is no valid substitute. Either it goes all the way to giving one’s whole life, or it is not true love. Small pieces of the heart will never pump life-supplying blood.

Definitions
Obedience- the virtue of submitting our will to the will of God.

Humility- the moral virtue that restrains the unruly desire for personal greatness. Humility leads us to an orderly love of self based on a true appreciation of our position with respect to God and neighbors; the virtue of being without pride.

Discussion Questions
Do you think that God’s way of saving us (the Passion, death, and resurrection of Christ) makes God still seem distant and uncaring about man? What do you think this way of saving us shows about how much man is worth to God?

Do you think that God wants to force us to love and obey him? Does the Passion of Christ force us to love God? How does it help us to love and obey God?

In what other moments of Christ’s life can we see His obedience? Why is obedience important in the role of the Redeemer?

As a Christian, to whom should I be obedient? God? Our parents? Teachers? Boss? Husband?

Like Jesus, are my decisions made in prayer?

Personal Reflections/Writing
1. What specific incidents in my life have I been disobedient? Is there a pattern in these? Was it pride that kept me from being obedient? What concrete things can I do to root out my pride?

2. Write a page about the Christian virtue of obedience. Be sure to include some Scripture passages. Cite example of saints living out obedience.

Resolution Idea
Mediate on one of the Bible passages below. How does it speak to me and my life?

Biblical texts on obedience (see a concordance) essential passages: 1Sam 15:22; Jn 5:19; 8:29; Rm 5:19, Flp 2:8; Heb 5:8; 10:6.

After seeing Christ’s self-giving love in the movie “The Passion”, we are compelled to ask how do we individually define love, and what is our society’s view of love?  Love is a word whose meaning has been spun so weirdly in our time that it has in many ways lost connection with the divine meaning. In 21st century America, loving someone means making them feel good, emotionally or physically. Feel good, but don’t bind. The fundamental idea of love binding a man and woman together for life is difficult work, so in a culture that promotes self-gratification, we have chosen to cast it aside.

We’ve broken it not because love is wrong, but because there is something we value more than love- our personal freedom. Freedom has become our absolute good, the highest value humanity strives after. If love binds one person to another, it limits personal freedom. See the quandary?

Everyone knows Jesus is all about love, but all he does in “The Passion” is suffer. In the Garden of Gethsemane, his anxiety and fear press him so intensely that he sweats blood. Is that loving? Lashed by the whip, his flesh ripped by the torturer’s cruel instruments, Christ sags to his knees, blood spattering the pavement. Stupidly, insanely, he struggles to stand, and freely chooses to do so-is that loving? The two torture specialists are driven demonic by this display of courage and nobility, and they unleash all the fury their brawny muscles and metal-tipped leather can inflict. How does this brutality relate to love?

Freedom fulfilled through love

Pope John Paul II teaches that freedom is not greater than love, but rather freedom is fulfilled in self-giving love. Freedom is not man’s absolute goal, love is. Freedom without love is useless, like so many wheels free to roll anywhere; the wheels are useless without a vehicle to harness them-love is that vehicle. Love is far greater then freedom, for a person can be happy without freedom as long as he loves.

Freedom intensifies love, proves it genuine. That is where suffering plugs in. Because genuine love must be freely given, love’s intensity is seen by the amount of suffering it bears-because everyone hates suffering and strives to avoid it. So if a person freely chooses to suffer for someone else, for love, then that love is great. Suffering is a thermometer, which shows love’s temperature, the degree of its reality.

That is why watching “The Passion” moves us to admire and love Jesus Christ. He chose freely to undergo his unfathomable suffering, which forever marks the zenith both of a man’s love for other men, and God’s love for man. This is a love that is best defined as self-giving, as St Paul writes: “He poured himself out for us.” Viewed from the perspective that Christ’s Passion affords, our understanding of love and freedom changes radically. Instead of love giving me something like enjoyment and fulfillment, I look to give of myself, to bring fulfillment and joy to others by serving them, even if in serving others I endure suffering.

Love transforms

Revolutionary- that is Christ’s love. It ignites, breaks up and shakes up our lives. Look at the individuals who were touched by Christ’s love-they all bought a share in suffering, and discovered love. Pilate’s wife Claudia could not prevent Jesus’ scourging; the only thing she can do is offer Mary linen cloths with which to wipe her son’s blood from the pavement. Her sharing in Mary’s own agony upon watching her son flayed alive, opens her to an act of love, offering her friendship to Mary through a humble gesture. Simon of Cyrene’s sharing in carrying the cross opens him to understand the self-giving nature of Jesus’ sacrifice. Simon will not be crucified, is not beaten, but his closeness to Jesus Christ while carrying the cross reveals to him Jesus’ patience, humility and overpowering love for the very men who kill him. Simon’s world is blown to bits, for instead of avoiding suffering, he wants to take it on in order to protect this man Jesus whom he has not known but has experienced.

Freedom’s purpose is revealed in love motivating us to serve others.  Suffering intensifies and purifies love, makes it genuine, real, solid. And the ultimate experience of love IS Jesus Christ, but he is a challenge, the rock against whom the waves of every generation crash and are divided: some follow Christ along the path of self-giving love, others reject Him in the hopes of discovering a self-fulfilling love.  The reality of the resurrection shows us that if we choose Christ’s path of self-giving love, then we will find true peace and everlasting life.

Virtue Verification:

Freedom - the power, rooted in will and reason, to perform (or not) deliberate actions on one’s own responsibility.
Love - the theological virtue by which we love God above all else for his sake, and other people as ourselves for love of God.
Suffering - experience of pain, distress, injury. Suffering with Christ is sharing in his redemptive sacrifice of crucifixion.

Discussion Questions

1. One person commented after seeing the movie, “I forgot. I forgot how much Christ loves me- individually, so much so that He suffered immensely to save me.“
   Did seeing the movie change your perspective on Christ’s suffering for your salvation, and the degree to which Christ loves you?
2. What can we do on a daily basis to remember Christ’s sacrifice for us and his love for us? (Potential discussion tips: contemplate Christ’s suffering in daily prayer, especially through the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary; make a point of remembering Christ’s suffering for us every time we have an opportunity to give of ourselves for another person.)
3. What does the popular culture teach us about love?  Let’s discuss specific things that  we can do in our daily lives to counter these images within our families, schools, and places of work.

Personal Reflections/Writing

1. Consider a time in our lives when someone else freely chose to sacrifice to help us.  How did this act of self-giving love affect us?
2. When suffering is imposed upon us, how do we approach our cross?   Do we run away from the cross?  Do we remember how Jesus accepted the cross?   Do we pick up the cross, and if so, do we do it joyfully? Do we run toward the cross?

Resolution Ideas

1. The next time we have an opportunity to serve someone in a way that involves true sacrifice, we will choose to do so with a joyful heart, remembering that it is an opportunity to imitate Christ’s self-giving love.
2. The next time suffering is imposed upon us, we will choose to accept our suffering with a joyful heart, embracing it is an opportunity to freely offer our suffering in self-giving love for the redemption of other’s sins.

The passion of Christ - both the historical event and Mel Gibson’s film - begins with the Agony in the Garden. In the film, the devil is watching Christ as he prays, agonizing over the indescribable suffering he is about to undergo to redeem humanity. From beneath the devil’s foot emerges a snake that slithers over to Christ, who is shedding tears and sweating blood. He seems not to take note of the serpent until it is directly beneath him; he then stands and crushes the serpent’s head under his foot.

The crushing of the serpent’s head is but one way Christ conquers evil. For a better understanding of this mystery and the hope it gives us, let’s take a look at some of the manifestations of evil in “The Passion of the Christ” and what the characters’ interaction with evil shows us about temptation, sin, death, and salvation.

Overcoming Temptation

The snake as a symbol tells much about temptation and evil. It is low, sneaky, and deadly, lurking in shadows until it is time to strike. It does not roar, but hisses; temptation - especially a first temptation to violate one’s innocence - is not a loud cry in the open but a whisper in the shadows. If we let it, it can wrap around us, making escape all but impossible, strangling us and cutting off feeling. To be the captive of the tempter is to dull one’s senses, particularly the moral sense, one’s conscience.

So how does Christ deal with the tempter? He crushes it underfoot. He allows it to come just close enough so he can kill it. Throughout the ages, the Church’s symbolic language has assured us that Christ is not alone in this victory: his Blessed Mother in painting and sculpture is almost always portrayed with a serpent underfoot. The sinless Virgin Mary is party to her Son’s conquest over temptation and death.

These symbols are fruit for prayerful meditation: What temptations slither in our lives? Do we try to resist temptation on our own? Or do we invite Christ into our lives, asking Him for courage and resolve, with confidence in his victory over evil?

Maintaining hope amidst suffering

Another striking manifestation of evil comes as Judas Iscariot faces what he has done. He betrays Christ with a kiss but soon suffers deep regret. He tries to give back the thirty pieces of silver and have Jesus freed, but it is too late; he cannot change the course of destruction that he has set in motion. Overwhelmed by his sin and lacking faith and hope in the mercy of God, Judas decides the only way to free himself is by suicide.

From one point of view, Jesus and Judas end up the same way: hanging dead on an old tree. But Judas died at his own hand because he had no hope. He had betrayed his Lord and left himself with nothing but anguish, regret, and despair. The despair is key, because it signifies the total absence of hope.

Christ, on the other hand, suffers an even worse death than Judas except for this: he never loses hope. He is hope. He, God, has decided to accept a brutal death as a way to change forever the meaning of suffering and even death. By offering His suffering as payment for our sins, Christ turns suffering into a means of salvation. By rising from the dead Christ defeats the most radical of all evil — death itself.  This radical transformation renders the devil’s work meaninglessness if we will but “believe, take up the cross and follow” Christ by uniting our suffering with the suffering of Christ.

In our lives, let us resolve to unite our suffering with the suffering of Christ, for the redemption of our own sins and the sins of the world.  And during those times when it appears there is no hope, we can remember to place our hope, our confidence in Christ’s resurrection and His victory over evil.

Confronting cruelty with forgiveness

Another manifestation of evil in “The Passion” is the laughing cruelty of Christ’s torturers. In the face of evil imposed by others, Christ calls on us to ” forgive them, they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:24). Christ is truly the king of mercy.  The Passion teaches us that if Christ can forgive others whom have inflicted horrible pain on him, can’t we forgive those that hurt us?

Confronting cruelty with humility

The mob’s calling for Christ’s death is another manifestation of evil.  Jesus had all of the power of heaven and earth to stop the madness of the crowd, yet humbly chose to follow the Father’s will.  His silence, his resolve to bear the cross, is the ultimate act of humility: God-made-man choosing to suffer the most despicable of deaths.

How often in our lives do we become “part of the mob” out of peer pressure and the desire to be accepted by a group, by saying or doing hurtful things to others?  And when we are the victims of hurtful comments and actions, do we imitate Christ by “forgiving those whom have trespassed against us” and by approaching difficult situations with humility?

Evil will always exist in our fallen world. Christ is the model for how we as Christians should confront evil with hope in the resurrection, forgiveness towards others that hurt us, and humility in obeying God’s will.

Virtues Highlighted

Faith- the theological virtue by which we believe in God all that He has revealed to us, and that the Holy Church proposes for our belief, because he is truth itself.

Hope- the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit.

Humility-the moral virtue that restrains the unruly desire for personal greatness. Humility leads us to an orderly love of self-based on a true appreciation of our position with respect to God and neighbors.

Prayer: Christ, as we face temptation and evil in our own lives, may our faith and hope in the resurrection lead us to resist temptation and evil as You did.

Discussion Questions

1. Mel Gibson said in an EWTN interview: “That’s how the devil is, to me….It’s frightening that it can be deception itself  -- that it takes the form of something harmless, but there is a ravenous beast underneath.”

Discuss the status of our culture today:

What temptations does our culture promote, which may at first appear harmless, but in reality cause great damage? Consider TV shows, movies, music, magazines, internet usage, our dress, and our activities.

What are the virtues that we can focus on to resist some of these temptations?

Personal Reflection/Writing

1.  Have there been times in our lives where we were part of a “mob psychology” in just going along with the crowd, not standing up for what we know is right?

What was the root cause of our going along with the crowd? Fear? Wanting to be accepted? Lack of moral courage to be counter cultural?

Was it out of laziness?

2. What situations in my life am I most vulnerable to this type of temptation? Standing up for a person? Standing up for a belief? Standing up to defend my faith?  What virtues can I work on to rid myself of this weakness?

3. Christ deals with the tempter by crushing it underfoot.  What temptations slither near my foot?  Do I crush them or let them take control? At these times of temptation, is my immediate response one of asking for God’s help and looking to Christ my inspiration and hope in resisting the temptation?

4.  When I fall to temptation, am I truly sorry for my sin and do I humbly seek God’s mercy?

Resolution Ideas

Make a nightly examination of conscience considering each day what specific temptations you faced, and whether you were successful in resisting them.

Make a commitment to identify someone who has harmed you in some way and forgive them, both in your heart and through a personal approach.

The next time we face a difficult situation, pray for the virtue of hope, contemplating the reality that by uniting our suffering with Christ, our suffering has redemptive value.

Resolve to go to confession on a more regular basis.