Let’s Pray…
Holy Spirit, give us the ability to see all things through eyes of faith. Show us how to discern, so we can embrace what is right and good, and reject what is not.

Every decade or two, a controversial figure emerges on the music scene. An artist who is completely dedicated to pushing the extreme limits of what society can handle, both musically and visually. Lady Gaga is without question this artist today.

In June, Gaga made the news not for her music or videos, but for indecent public behavior and obscene gestures at Citi Field (NY Mets game). Days later she found a way past security at Yankee Stadium and entered the Yankees’ clubhouse while intoxicated.

In an August 2 article from CNN, the pop diva admitted to continued occasional cocaine use. This is a direct contradiction with her previous statements saying she gave up cocaine and only occasionally used ecstasy. Both drugs can potentially have devastating effects with only one use; especially for someone like Lady Gaga, who has had drug problems in the past.

There is certainly a lot that is objectionable about Lady Gaga’s extremism. It seems like she will stop at nothing to see her name in headlines. But if we dig through the glam and glitter, behind the crazy costumes and characters and publicity stunts, is there ANYTHING we can learn?

Born on March 20, 1986, Lady Gaga was baptized Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. She grew up on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and learned to play the piano at only four years old. She attributes her unique attitude to the combination upbringing of her parents’ faith; her father is an Italian Catholic and her mother is a Methodist.

She has one sister who is 6 years younger than her. Although wealthy by many people’s standards, her family wouldn’t be considered rich in their neighborhood. Nor were they famous like some other pop artists’ families (Miley Cyrus, for example).

Stefani Germanotta went to all-girls Catholic high school at the Convent of the Sacred Heart (the same school as the Hilton sisters, incidentally). School plays and concerts are where she got her first taste of performing for large audiences. With her parents’ support, she worked hard; practicing two hours a day on her piano. She performed in clubs and bars around the city at only 14 years old.

At 17 she was accepted to a very prestigious music school called Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. After only a year at NYU, Germanotta dropped out of school so she could perform more gigs. Before her 20th birthday she had signed a record deal with Interscope and produced her first album, The Fame.

A Star Is Morphed

How did this sweet, Catholic school girl from a pretty normal family end up morphing in to the outlandish, far-out, queen of pop-crazy? After the brief college stint, Stefani went back to playing more “normal” music in a more traditional way. The turning point came when she took a break from performing to write songs in a new style; she calls it “glam music”.

One of the bars she played at a lot is called The Bitter End. Nearly every up-and-coming music act, and even an occasional full-blown star, plays this club at some point. She chose The Bitter End as the first place to play her new glam music. That first night, everyone was talking, eating and drinking, and having too much fun to listen. No one was paying attention to the poor teenage girl singing and playing her heart out on stage. Germanotta tried asking for the people to listen and be quiet, but they weren’t really interested.

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Stefani said, “Every bit of me is devoted to love and art…” She uses her music as a means to express her inner self; her struggles, her hopes and dreams, the things she can’t put into words. So she found this experience hard to take, because she had put so much of herself and her passion into writing the songs. She was really upset that no one would listen.

She quickly thought of ways to get people’s attention; and then it occurred to her to start removing her clothes… until she was singing in her underwear. Suddenly, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in shock. Some looked on in horror, thinking she was crazy. Others inappropriately ogled her. But everyone listened.

For Stefani, this was one of those moments when life teaches you a lesson. That night she learned not everyone is interested in hearing or paying attention to self-expression. Unfortunately, she also learned a cold reality about many people: she could MAKE them pay attention by showing some skin.

And so her new character was born, along with her provocative costumes, which are often even more scary and grotesque than they are scandalous. Being a stage performer in high school, Stefani found it natural to add performance art and dance to her acts. A little while later, a friend gave her a nickname based on the Queen song Radio-a-gaga: Lady Gaga.

Playing to the wound

Our culture makes it easy for many young women to feel as though the only way to get people’s attention and approval is to misuse their sexuality. The sad truth is the reaction of the people in that crowd, and millions of people since then, has only helped convince Lady Gaga that this is true. Themes of feeling used, poor self-image, and wounded dignity are found in many of her songs. “Bad Romance” for example, speaks from the standpoint of someone who settles for a bad relationship because they do not feel they deserve or can get anything better.

Wounding others

There is a point at which someone’s own self-expression stops being just about themself and starts to affect others around them. Lady Gaga learned this first hand with her father.

“Well, …it wasn’t really so easy for my dad, especially in the beginning. I mean we didn’t talk for months after the first time he saw me play, and uh, he didn’t understand… Because it was such a drastic change, um, from who I was in high school, and who I became.” A self-professed “daddy’s girl,” Lady Gaga has learned the price of expressing yourself and your own ideas without thinking about how it might effect others.

And her full time acting out of the Lady Gaga character, even when she is not on stage, could be altering her own idea of who she is, and even her father’s idea of who she is. Recently, Gage visited her father in the hospital and he sent her home to put on her makeup, because she didn’t look like what he’d come to expect from her. Some people may say this is simply Lady Gaga choosing who she wants to be; others may say she is walking a dangerous line of losing who she really is by always putting on a show.

So wrong, so right

Some of the lifestyle choices and behaviors Lady Gaga promotes, and gives example of, are unhealthy or self-destructive. However, every once in a while she makes you stop and wonder how someone who seems so wrong could say something so right. While her reasons and explanations for these things may not be coming from a healthy set of values, here are some things she has said that are in line with the Catholic values she learned growing up.

Television shows such as Gossip Girl and 90210 make money off of telling young people that sexual promiscuity is “normal” behavior for teens. Lady Gaga begs to differ:
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”

Mixing Messages

In other interviews, she says, “I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single…”

Can this be true? Is the singer who dances around in next to nothing and seems to promote the do-whatever-makes-you-feel-good lifestyle really telling fans that you can retain your virginity and still be cool? Yes she is!

Now, it may be for different reasons than parents, priests, and religions say the same things, but the lesson is the same. To Lady Gaga, it is important that you “own” yourself, and be in control of yourself, in order to give yourself away to a spouse. While she does not adhere to the Catholic Church’s teaching that you should wait for marriage, she does warn young people about giving in to sexual temptation simply because of the pressure that society or other people place on you.

“You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself.” she tells fans. And again, “So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.” Lady Gaga has chosen to focus on her career and her music right now. She understands that in order to have a successful relationship, you have to take time to get to know one another and establish emotional and spiritual intimacy. So rather than turn to meaningless encounters with people she doesn’t really love, she has decided to put off having sex. And she’s making sure to tell others to do so as well.

The way Lady Gaga speaks about having a family sounds very much like a Catholic ideal, and seems to contradict her typically ultra-feminist and anti-traditional views. Speaking about how she felt when her father developed heart trouble, Gaga said “I just wanted to have him walk me down the aisle and hold my babies…”

Once again, Lady Gaga surprises us with an insight into who she really is. While many around her are trying to question the idea of traditional family, her idea of normal is a husband and kids; a real family. “I want to have babies for my Dad to hold, grandkids. And I want to have a husband who loves and supports me, just the way anyone else does.”

Lady Gaga admits that she is “tortured” by her thoughts and inner dialogue. She says that there are questions and doubts that are constantly going on in her mind, so much so that she cannot sleep. This has at times made her so exhausted that she collapsed or got sick on stage. Gaga admits that she often needs medication in order to get much needed rest.

In an interview with CNN’s Larry King, Gaga reveals that some of the struggles she has are with faith in God and religion:

“Well, I struggle. I struggle with my feelings about the Church… I’m very religious… I was raised Catholic. I believe in Jesus… I pray very much… But at the same time there is no one religion that does not hate… another [religious, group, racial group, or sexual group.] I guess you could say I’m a very religious woman, but also very confused about religion.”

Being involved in the world of theater and entertainment has exposed her to a lot of people who feel marginalized or outcast by religion. The Catholic Church refuses to compromise on what is right and what is wrong, and many people feel badly and misunderstand that as some form of discrimination. This has led her to question her faith. So, where does Lady Gaga seem to be going for the answers?

These types of doubts and questions expose a danger of being consumed with your own thoughts, feelings, and uniqueness: the illusion of self-reliance. When someone spends all their time exploring and expressing their own ideas, feelings, and opinions, and goes to extremes to create a unique image, it can be easy to depend only on oneself. There is a huge temptation to expect to figure out all the answers on your own. This can make it very frustrating when you experience doubts or have questions you can’t answer.
It takes a lot of humility to go to someone else and ask them to explain something. It also takes a lot of trust. However, it can bring a lot of peace of mind when you understand that you aren’t the only one who struggles and that there are others who can help you. Especially in matters of faith, it is important to find someone who really knows what the Church teaches, who can explain things well and clear up any misconceptions you might have heard. Perhaps this could help Lady Gaga find some peace. But for now, she says the turmoil she feels gives her a lot of energy and topics for new music, so she’s making the best of it.

Gaga Saga Continues

What we see in Stefani, or Lady Gaga as she is called, is a struggle. A constant inner conflict, between expressing and exploring her darkest and most terrifying thoughts and feelings, and doing what she knows is right and what will make her the happiest on the deepest level, the level of truths that don’t change. It’s a struggle between finding a way to be unique while still trying to be popular. It’s about fighting to expose the things we think are great about ourselves, while having a war with those things that hurt our confidence and self-image.

It is a struggle that all of us endure. Lady Gaga talks a lot about defining yourself and choosing who you want to be. But if we look closer, she shows us that underneath her costumes and characters, beats the heart of person who is struggling with the chaos of self discovery. We all do our best to present an image that will impress others, but when life presents questions we can’t figure out, where will we go for answers?

Here’s a link to another article about Lady Gaga.

“People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.”

“You can say that I love ‘Love’. It fascinates me.”

“Today Was a Fairytale”, a song Taylor wrote for the Valentine’s Day soundtrack, dropped the third week in January. It quickly became the most downloaded single for any female artist, shattering the record previously held by Brittany Spears.

But in spite of her amazing success, it seems that Taylor has remained a very down-to- earth girl. Recently, on January 26th, she tweeted: “I didn’t notice until now that the person who made my coffee today wrote ‘you’re wonderful’ on the cup. It made my day.”

Fearless Love

In 2008, Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless” topped the charts, selling more than 10 million copies. Swift has received more than 50 major music awards to date, including one at the Video Music Awards in 2009.

Everyone remembers that during that acceptance speech she was interrupted by Kanye West who felt a need to tell the world that he thought Beyonce Knowles actually deserved the award. In a moment of humility, the world saw Taylor show self control, kindness, and respect for the rapper who was saying humiliating things in what should have beenher shining moment.

Taylor Swift’s describes what was going through her mind during the encounter with Kanye West at the Video Music Awards:
“Wow I can’t believe I won… This is awesome… Don’t trip and fall…
I’m gonna get to thank the fans…This is so cool…
Oh, Kanye West is here… Cool haircut… What are ya doing there… Ouch…
I guess I’m not gonna get to thank the fans…”

After that moment, she went backstage and tried hard to hold back the tears, because she had to perform again. There was an outpouring of anger from other artists who called on Kanye to apologize for his behavior. Later on, Kanye personally called Taylor and apologize. She accepted.

“I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless.
Then, moving on and being alright, that’s fearless, too.”

From a very early age Taylor has shown herself to be Fearless. Her pre-teen singing talents were discovered through performing karaoke songs locally at fairs and events. By the age of 10 she was an award-winning poet. At age 12 she started playing the guitar. She practiced for many hours every day. She learned to combine her talents for writing poetry with her passion for music.

Her family was very supportive of her talents and dreams. They even moved to Nashville, Tennessee, to provide more opporunities for their daughter’s singing career.

By the time she was 13, Taylor Swift had a contract with RCA Records but Taylor left when the company tried to force her into a predetermined stereotype of a teen singer.

Swift had a strong sense of self even as a young aspiring artist, and she wanted to sing and write her own songs. Scott Borchetta, of Big Machine Records, heard her singing at the Bluebird Café and sensed she could become a powerful artist . He gave her the chance to write her own music with his record company. At just 16 years old, Taylor’s debut song, Tim McGraw, vaulted her into the music spotlight.

Respect

Taylor Swift, like all teenagers, is learning to navigate the world of love. That can be even harder for Taylor because she is a celebrity. One tool that Taylor Swift uses to protect her heart is self respect. Taylor believes in herself. In her music you can hear that her heart is full of ideas, hopes, dreams and heartbreak. She understands what its like to feel like you are invisible, and she understands what it feels like to have her heart broken by unrequited love.
“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.“
— Taylor Swift,
Rolling Stone Magazine
And through her music Taylor is able to express these feelings to her fans. Rather than needing to express herself by wearing tight or ridiculously revealing clothes, putting up an over-sexed image, or getting into & staying in immoral relationships with guys who hurt her, she chooses to move on and let go. In her songs, we can often find something of ourselves to identify with.
“My goal is never to write songs that my fans can’t relate to.”
- Taylor Swift

Relationship Rebellion

Taylor Swift is leading a very special revolution. It’s not a rebellion based on fighting parents and injuring herself through the same old predictable Hollywood patterns of self-destruction. Instead, she’s revolting against Hollywood’s demand that she destroy her mind, body, and soul in order to fit in with all of the other celebrities. Swift tries to live out her belief in herself and takes care of herself.
“I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I’ve rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that’s always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn’t remember who they’d made out with the night before. You see, I don’t ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying.”
– Taylor Swift to the Brittish magazine, Seven

Even though she rebels against the studio, Taylor hasn’t had the desire to rebel against her parents.
Taylor’s parents have worked hard to teach her about what is really important in life. On her 18th Birthday Taylor’s parents threw her a party in Nashville with 200 guests:
“This is our gift to her,” said Taylor’s mother, Andrea Swift. “She knows the real gifts in life are relationships.”
Taylor has written about the love she feels for her family in her music.
“I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out, he’s better than I am.”
– “The Best Day”
written and produced
by Taylor Smith
She also rebels through her music when she says that the guy who she’s dating and loves needs to treat her with respect. The idea of being a “princess” is frowned upon in our society at times. Women are told by modern society that being treated like a “princess” by a guy is a sign of weakness, and that they need to give that up if they want a success in their career. Taylor shows us that we can challenge those assumptions.
In her songs she says that she wants the fairy tale society tells her to reject:
“You’ll be the prince
and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story
baby, just say yes”
– “Love Story”
written and produced
by Taylor Swift
Swift works hard to show through the way she lives her own life that a real fairytale is possible by choosing to respect herself and by rebelling against society’s demand for self-destruction.

Express yourself

Taylor Swift is an example of someone who reflects confidence and inner happiness. In her songs we see the many rejections, not being cool & not fitting in; she fearlessly shows vulnerability.
“When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried
‘cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them”
- Taylor Swift, “Fifteen”
Taylor Swift wrote this song about her friend who let go of her self-respect to feel a moment of “love” from a boy and lived to regret it. Taylor saw her friend’s pain and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t let that happen to her. So instead of depending on others to make her feel loved, Taylor Swift has chosen to passionately pursue a music career and develop everything she has in her self – all of her talents.

What talents do you have? What are your passions?

“The lesson I’ve learned the most often in life is that you’re always going to know more in the future than you know now!” - Taylor Swift

So what have you done this week to build your fairytale future?

Ever since she was a small girl Miley Cyrus knew she wanted to perform. Her dream has come true on a level that has amazed even her biggest fans (her mom and dad). But is Miley promoting a healthy vision of being a performer or is she slowly abandoning Christian principles?

In this lesson we will look at Miley’s background and her values.

We will also look at what it means to be a Christian in the entertainment world today.

Miley Cyrus was born into a musical family. Her dad is a successful country singer. Many of her relatives are musicians, and she grew up singing and attending her dad’s performances.

But there is more to her background than just being on the stage. Her father and mother are very into family. Miley grew up spending lots of time with her family.

Miley explains that when she was born, her dad’s music career was at an all-time high. But when she was about one or two years old her dad realized that he was losing something more precious than success. He was losing his family. “So he let go his music career and moved with the family … to the farm in Franklin to be the very best husband and dad he could be.” (Miley’s words)

Miley has spent lots of time with her dad, her mom, and all her family as she grew up, and this has continued as she became a star in her own right.

Another value that is very strong in Miley’s life is faith. Her dream is to be a light in the darkness of this world, a sign of hope.

When Miley first met “Prince Charming,”, (Everyone claims that the “Prince Charming” is Nick Jonas, and Miley has pretty much admitted it.) he asked her about her values. She immediately explained that she and her family are “hard-core Christians”.

She says that her whole family has gone to church on Sundays since she was a child, but when Miley was in middle school the family’s faith took a deeper step. “Brandi (Miley’s older sister) brought us to a new church in Franklin. The People’s Church was different. It became family for us. The members of our congregation hold each other accountable for the way we live our lives…For the first time our family started making decisions based on our faith…The People’s Church really opened my heart. It has made me truly thankful.”

Miley admits that one thing that makes her sad is that not enough people know Jesus. She tries to take time to read the Bible regularly, and her recent book is full of her favorite quotes from the Bible. She has also said that Justin Gaston (whom she costars with in an upcoming movie) got her reading the Bible even a little bit more.(Boys can have positive points, sometimes…)

One way Miley tries to live her faith is by helping others. She visits children in hospitals as she travels, a habit she picked up from her dad. She donates a portion of her earnings to charitable causes, such as Youth Service America and City of Hope (a cancer care center).

She also tries to communicate her concern over contemporary issues such as global warming.

Miley also wears a purity ring, as a sign of her Christian commitment to remain a virgin until marriage. “When I got old enough and there were boys in the picture, I asked (my parents) if it was time for me to get my own ring (like her older sister Brandi). My mom gave me one that has a circle on it, to represent the circle of marriage. There’s a little diamond in the center of the circle for me, and when I get married, there will be another diamond added. But until then, it’s just me. And it feels right.”

“The press might make fun of some people for wearing purity rings, but I don’t pay attention to that. They can think what they want. I have my morals!”

But Miley has been in some controversy about whether she really understands all her Christian values.

About two years ago a cover shot for Vanity Magazine appeared in which Miley had her back to the camera and seemed to be nude. In fact she was not nude, but the pose gave that impression. Many parents expressed outrage that a girl who is presented as a role model for young girls could pose for such a shot. The image was sending the wrong message.

Miley and her parents apologized for the image. They explained that in the studio the pose did not seem that provocative, but after they saw the magazine they realized that they had been mistaken.

This past spring Miley tweeted about the Miss California “gay marriage” question.

On her Twitter page, Miley said: “Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares!

“That’s like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he’s gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy.”

We can agree with Miley that Jesus loves everyone. But Jesus tries to make us aware of sin: those things in in our lives that are hurting us and hurting our relationship with God.

People with same sex tendencies are loved by God. But, like all of us, they are also struggling with sin in their lives. They desire love, but are looking for it in a way that will not bring them true happiness. And they end up drawing other people into a a cycle of unhappiness as well.

Sexual impurity hurts the persons who commit it, and it hurts society as well.

Recently, Miley has been involved in a controversy about pole dancing and provocative clothing. It seems that some poses and wardrobe choices in her debut performance of “Party in the USA” (By the way, OFIA thinks “Party in the USA” is a cool song.) could easily be interpreted as too close to the setting of a strip club. These critics may have a legitimate point. It was imprudent of Miley to accept such a setting for the inauguration of the song.

Also, a number of people have pointed out that many of the wardrobe choices Miley has made on her recent tour have been a bit immodest or provocative. Miley certainly is not a little girl any more, and does not have to dress as a little girl, but is she pushing the envelope too much in the other direction now?

This brings us to a final discussion about what it means to be a Christian and a performer in todays’ world.

Today, it is not easy to understand that things like immodesty and homosexual relationships are impure and destructive. That is because so many shows, movies, and music present the opposite message.

In this atmosphere it is easy for Christians to get confused. It takes real wisdom and discernment to distinguish between loving everyone and approving destructive behavior. Maybe some Christian might be able to explain this to Miley in a loving way. (Know anyone?)

Few can doubt that Miley Cyrus is an extremely talented performer. She has a gift for communicating joy. It is a gift given her by God, and she has worked very hard to develop it. She wants to help people by her performances. She wants to help them experience joy and love. She wants to give them hope. And she does this quite well.

But being a performer can sometimes lead to sending the wrong message. Miley has sent a great message many times throughout her career. But, precisely because she is so full of joy, Miley does not always realize that some aspects of her performances can have a meaning she did not intend. This is where the virtues of prudence, wisdom, temperance, and courage come in. This is where a wise counselor might help a bit.

Let’s pray that Miley continue to look for Christians who are gifted with wisdom to be her friends and advisors. Let’s pray that her friends and advisors continue to help her live Christian values.

We all need constant education and encouragement on what it means to be a Christian. Let’s continue to pray for Miley and encourage her in the good things. Let’s try to set a good example ourselves of what it means to be a Christian in the secular world. The world needs many more messagers of Christian life today.

It was an exciting moment. Carrie Prejean’s turn had arrived to answer a question from a judge during the final round of the Miss USA pageant. When the question came, Carrie’s stomach turned. The judge wanted to know what she, as the reigning Miss California and the potential Miss USA, thought about “gay marriage.” She knew what the man wanted to hear. But she also knew what she truly believed.

Carrie wondered: should she give the popular answer or speak her conscience? She quickly prayed for guidance.

We’ll get to her answer — and its aftermath — in a minute. But first, let’s take a quick look at Carrie’s life leading up to the Miss USA pageant. That will help us zero in on the point of this lesson: True marriage is worth defending … even when it costs you dearly.

Young love

Carrie Prejean was a shy child but, in high school, she became a four-sport athlete. Her softball team won a national championship. Then, encouraged by her parents, she joined a youth group at her evangelical Protestant church. She found that she loved to learn more about God, his love for her and his love for everyone. This knowledge became a source of deep joy for her.

Her parents and her church also taught her that her faith and her values would be challenged in the world today. She made a personal commitment to Christ and to her Christian values, prepared to deal with the challenges this commitment would bring.

You really think I’m pretty?

When Carrie was 17, some people began insisting that she enter beauty pageants. “I didn’t even know what a pageant was,” she told the press recently. But Carrie had always liked challenges and trying new things. The idea that she could be competitive in a beauty contest stirred her imagination.

Going for it

Carrie isn’t exaggerating when she describes herself as someone who can be very enthusiastic once she decides on a goal. She got the name of a woman who helps organize beauty pageants and called her. When the woman met Carrie, she seemed impressed. She explained the basics of the pageant and gave Carrie some information to look over and some forms to fill out. So it was that, at 17, Carrie entered her first beauty contest … and won!

College!

In college, Carrie continued participating in beauty pageants. She spent her freshman year at a state school, but after prayer and discernment decided that she wanted to attend a Christian college. She transferred to San Diego Christian College, a school known for promoting a strong faith life.

Carrie greatly enjoyed her new school. She saw the environment of faith and intellectual challenge as an opportunity to prepare for the future: She wanted to be a Christian leader. She wanted to help bring Christ to others and make a difference in the world. Most of all, she wanted people to know the deep sense of satisfaction she had found through a personal and prayerful relationship with Jesus.

Reaching out

Besides her studies and her beauty pageant preparations, Carrie also got involved in outreach programs to the handicapped and the hurting. She took part in a ministry to women exploited by prostitution and pornography.

Beauty strategy

During this time, Carrie’s attitude toward beauty pageants was, “Just be joyful and be myself. Be happy with who I am and try to show kindness to everyone else.” It worked. Her successes mounted with each contest. This past November Carrie won the Miss California USA pageant. She was also voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.

Prepping

Winning the Miss California USA title was exciting in itself, but it also qualified her for the Miss USA pageant. She decided to take a semester off from school to prepare for the pageant. She worked out, followed a demanding diet and studied many of the topics she might be asked about.

The Miss USA pageant took place in Las Vegas over a two-week period. Only the last day of the pageant, April 19, was shown on national television. Which brings us back to the question that changed her life.

Facing Down Fear

As the telecast began, the host named 15 finalists. Several rounds of competition followed until only five girls remained. For the final round, each finalist would have to answer a question from a celebrity judge. The girls picked judges’ numbers from a bottle and Carrie ended up with Judge No. 8 — Perez Hilton.

This man’s real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. He is famous for his abrasive personality and insulting commentaries on TV and the Internet. He is also famous for promoting changing the definition of marriage so gay couples can get “married.”

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage,” said Mr. Hilton. “Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

This was a loaded question. Perez Hilton was setting Carrie up to either cave in to popular pressure or make a fool of herself in front of millions of people.

Or so he thought.

At first, Carrie tried to soft-pedal her beliefs. “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

But as she spoke these words, she heard a still, small voice speaking to her heart. Which crown did she want more — the Miss USA crown or the crown Christ wanted to give her?

She interrupted herself in mid-thought. “And you know what?” she said. “I think that in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman — no offense to anybody out there — but that’s how I was raised and … I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Media Firestorm

As Carrie spoke these words, an immediate reaction rose from the audience. Most people applauded, encouraged by Carrie’s bravery and honesty, but there were also some boos. You probably already know that Carrie lost the contest.

Afterward, a famous television reporter asked her about Perez Hilton’s question. Carrie was surprised that such a famous reporter would want to talk to the runner-up rather than the winner. In her mind, what happened to her was simply a side story. She soon began to find out that this was not just a side story. It had already become national news.

Digging up dirt

In May, a celebrity-gossip blog ran a photo of Carrie partially undressed. Her back was to the camera, and the image was not especially racy by today’s standards, but the organizers of the Miss California pageant announced that they were investigating. Carrie, they said, might have her Miss California title taken from her.

Speaking in her own defense, Carrie stated that she had posed for the shot when she was 17 and pursuing a career as a model. She objected to the release of the photo.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

She has also pointed out that she was “naive and young” at the time of the photography and regrets having made the decision to pose for that particular shoot. Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage — which works to keep marriage between one man and one woman — spoke out in Carrie’s defense. “You don’t have to be a perfect person,” said Gallagher, “to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

“You’re fired!”

The media circus followed Carrie around for weeks. Then, on June 10, the final ax fell. Carrie was stripped of her Miss California crown. This was the title that had gotten her into the Miss USA pageant to begin with.The organizers of the Miss California pageant claimed Carrie had not been cooperative in carrying out her duties. Carrie disputed that claim.

“They don’t agree with the stance that I took [on gay marriage],” she said. “They don’t like me. From Day One they wanted me out, and they got what they wanted. … I was very respectful of people even when they slandered me and humiliated me,” she added. “I have not once stooped down to their level.”

With these words, and with her acceptance of embarrassing defeat, Carrie showed the world what Christian forgiveness looks like.

A Crown lost, a crown gained

Carrie may have been stripped of her crown as Miss California, but she certainly can stand tall. She has been given a crown of courage, even if many mock her and call her a hypocrite. She has stood up for marriage at a time when it is extremely important to do so.

Marriage really matters. It matters for all of society. Carrie has done her small part to witness to the beauty and truth of marriage.

Battles ahead

What does Carrie Prejean’s future hold? That remains to be seen. She still has many choices ahead of her.

One thing is for certain: The battle for the truth about marriage will continue. Legal experts foresee a very heated and difficult battle, because, with the approval of gay “marriage” in many states, the Christian view of marriage may be considered bigoted “hate speech” by government.

We Catholics, too, will be called on to defend marriage. Will we have the courage to stand firm as Carrie Prejean did — even when it means losing something we have worked hard for? When we experience loss, we can remember that nothing is truly lost when we stand up for truth.

On the contrary, we help others. Let us continue to speak the truth with love. Christ will give us our crown, and we will know the happiness of having helped others with our lives.

Every girl dreams of finding “the one,” “Mr. Right,” that special guy who looks into her eyes and makes her heart flutter… Every guy searches for that one girl who makes him feel like he’s king of the world. It turns out, no matter how famous or rich you get, that doesn’t change; at least so say the teen pop sensations, the Jonas Brothers. But these guys aren’t dating in typical Hollywood fashion.

Breaking Big

Even if you don’t like their music, there is no denying their success. Though their ages are only 16, 19, and 21, these three New Jersey brothers have already fulfilled a lifetime’s worth of dreams. They’ve sold millions of CD’s and mp3 downloads, starred in movies, and played to packed arenas worldwide. Their pictures and posters line the lockers of tens of thousands of girls, and their fans are so into them it’s almost creepy. So whether or not their latest songs are on your playlist, they must be doing something right to be so successful.

Nick, the youngest in the band, was in a Broadway show at a very young age. By 12, he was approached by Columbia Records and offered a deal to make Christian music. On some of the recordings, Nick’s two older brothers, Kevin and Joe, joined him. The record company loved the sound so much, they decided to market them as “the Jonas Brothers”. Their first album of Christian music didn’t sell well with Columbia Records. But because of both their raw talent and their wholesome family appeal, Disney and Hollywood Records picked them up immediately. Their second CD was almost sold out before it was released.

BB Good in Hollywood

Though they are not making religious music anymore, the same Christian values their parents raised them with still influence their music, lyrics, videos, and, most importantly, their lives. Nick told Fox Extra, “We believe that we are Christians in a pop-rock band. That’s just the way we do it. Our faith is really important to us and it’s a big thing in everything we do.”

Kevin tells Cross Rhymes, “With our music we’re trying to be successful. Our whole thing is to play mainstream music but to be a light in a dark world and to tell people that we are Christians when they ask, ‘What’s so different about you?’ We’re like, ‘Well, we’re Christians and we love the Lord.’ That’s our opportunity to witness to people. We just feel like this is where we belong - ‘This is who we are and let’s just go for it!’”

Lovebug

In spite of their fast-paced, star-studded careers, Nick, Joe, and Kevin seem to be looking for the same things that most teens are. “Like all people our age we are trying to find someone special that we can share time with in our busy lives,” they recently wrote on their MySpace. They admit it is hard to have relationships when they live life the way they do. Many times they find themselves on different continents than their friends. This makes it hard to take a girl they like to the mall, the movies, or a school dance.

The Girl

So what kind of girl does a international, teenage, millionaire, heart-throb date? Well, the list of girls linked to the Jonas Brothers includes famous starlets such as Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Camilla Belle, and Taylor Swift. But you will find a common trait among many of the girls that are seen hanging out with Nick, Joe, and Kevin: most of them have stated publicly that they are saving sex for marriage.

Why should this be important to these three TV, movie, and rock stars? Although they are rich, famous, and can date nearly anyone they would want, the boys have decided that chastity is the most important value to them; both personally and in dating relationships.

The Rings

Not too long ago, in an interview on the Disney Channel, the Jonas Brothers told the world that they wear “purity rings” (also called “promise rings”) to symbolize their commitment to living a chaste life until they are married.

Pushing Them Away

Almost immediately, the press began to make a huge stink about the rings. Some news reporters tried to discredit them. Others brought on experts saying that it is not possible to be a mentally healthy teen while making a promise like this to abstain from sex until marriage. Some people accused the boys of using this as a publicity stunt. It seems that the news media and gossip columnists can’t believe that three famous, wealthy, good-looking guys could possibly survive Hollywood careers while holding on to their virginity.

Holding On

But the boys defend their position. They do their best to keep their private lives private. They try to keep their relationships with young women on a friendly level. This is a very mature attitude, because it shows they realize that at their age, and with their busy schedules, it doesn’t make sense to let a relationship get too serious. Nick explained the rings in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, “To us the [purity] rings are a constant reminder to live a life of values. It’s about being a gentleman, treating people with respect and being the best guys we can be.”

That’s Just the Way We Roll

Chastity and purity rings all of a sudden became very popular. From that point on, most of the press for the band consistently included discussions about the rings. A very famous journalist named Barbara Walters wanted to interview the boys. Walters did her best to get the boys to slip up or back down about their purity rings, but they would not break. There was one other thing that was very evident in their interview with Ms. Walters: these brothers stick together.

Band of Brothers

This is the secret to their success both musically, and morally. They rely on each other, protect each other, and find strength in knowing that they’re living chaste lives together. When one of them was offered a part in the movie Camp Rock, their father insisted that all three be included. Their father knows that if they stay together, they can survive the crazy rat-race that usually ruins teen stars.

Strength in family

Another source of strength these guys have is their parents. Dad and Mom are their best friends. And they not only give them advice, but they also know the ropes of performing in a band and going on tour. Their parents were performing Christian artists for many years. Dad is actually their manager and vocal coach. “There’s times when he’s Dad and times when he a manager,” explains Joe. “He’s a ‘dadager’… He’s awesome. We love our dad.” But what the brothers especially admire about their parents are their values. Their parents have dedicated their lives to standing up for Jesus and for Christian values (Dad is a Christian pastor and Mom is his #1 helper). They have also shown the boys that, in spite of the fact that they are not perfect, they can walk the talk, and help their sons walk it too.

“Our family is really close,” said Joe. “We kind of built our whole foundation on making sure that our family is really strong. They’ve always been there for us… That’s why we decided to go (on tour) with our own family bus.” Hanging out with Mom and Dad may not seem very cool to many teenagers and pop stars, but the Jonas Brothers have shown that family can give us strength to live up to our values, even when the attraction of easy, loose relationships seems so powerful.

Keeping All the Promises

The Jonas Brothers have shown us that the best way to keep a commitment to God and to their future spouses is to surround ourselves with brothers (and sisters) who share the same values and who are striving to live a life of faith in God. They acknowledge that despite all their wealth, fame, and good looks, the best gift they can give their future spouses is the complete gift of themselves.

Giving Hope

Nick, Joe, and Kevin also realize they have a responsibility, even in the midst of so much success. They can give hope to others. If they can live a life of purity and chastity amidst the glitz and glam of Hollywood and rock-stardom, they give hope to teenagers everywhere. Girls deserve to know they are worth waiting for. There’s no denying that this is a big part of the success of these brothers.

Attraction

Why are boys so attracted to girls? And why are girls so attracted to boys? Because we are made in the image of God. And God is love. God is relational. God, within his very being, lives in a relationship of love (He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.), and God lives in a relationship of love with his creatures. So, like him, God made us to love. We are made to love him, and we are made to love others.

Special Love

One of the most special ways to love like God is the love between a man and a woman. In married love, spouses dedicate their lives totally and exclusively to each other. In married love, a boy and a girl are called to be the living expression of God’s love for the other person.

Built on Friendship and Respect

But this type of love does not just happen by a physical relationship. It is built on friendship. It is sustained by respect, kindness, and patience. It only truly works when there is total commitment, after a sustained period of getting to know each other and respect each other. When we put the physical relationship before there is a solid friendship and respect, and before there is a total commitment, we find that love does not last. It simply ends in broken hearts.

Something We Can Learn

So, guys, show tenderness to the girls, but show respect. Show each girl you really can wait. You may find that it’s not just the Jonas Brothers that the girls are swooning about (although they might not admit it … until they really trust you.) And girls, continue to believe in that special someone. There are good guys out there, guys worth waiting for. Hold on, and God will bless your love.

Some new girls on the block are leading a revolution. It is a revolution of beauty, a beauty that starts on the inside, but shows on the outside as well. And they are getting attention. This week we look at a new trend in fashion, begun by girls whose beauty is more than a façade. They are turning heads, making headlines, and changing hearts.

THIs Is YOUR RUNWAy

“When you walk, keep your back straight, and lead with your hips,” says Leah Darrow, as she demonstrates walking across a room. “And remember—it’s a fashion show, not a track meet. Make this natural, make it your own. This is your runway.”

Leah Darrow, a model and former contestant on the TV show America’s Next Top Model is one of the mentors to these new girls on the block. The girls are preparing for the Pure Fashion Show in St. Louis. They will model trendy clothes, yes, but they will model something else. They will model the work of a great designer; the best designer, God. Their goal is to highlight the joy and confidence that come from knowing they are images of God’s beauty.

SURPRIsING SCENE

Leah knows how attractive these girls can be. They changed her life. She was in the midst of a high-powered modeling career in New York when she happened to see part of a Pure Fashion Show on television. Her career and her life choices were taking her down a dark alley. As she watched the clips on Pure Fashion, she felt the contrast between what was going on in her own life and what she saw on the faces of the girls in the show. She loved the fashions, but there was something else.…

“I wondered why those cute girls and adorable outfits were being showcased on the Catholic Channel.”

Leah was touched, and she was curious. She decided to find out more. She looked up Pure Fashion on the Web and decided to write an email to the director, Brenda Sharman (a professional model herself), thanking her for putting together the program. 

“Little did I know what one small email can do—Brenda called me personally, and we talked for what seemed to be only twenty minutes, when in actuality hours had passed.”

BEAUTy AND THE MIRROR

Her conversation with Brenda made her think. Beauty has power. And yet, beauty is a gift. It is a gift that can be used for good or for bad. Leah saw something in the beauty of these girls that made her reassess the power of her own beauty.

Yes, she was beautiful, and yes, she was getting attention, but was she beautiful on the inside? Did the mirror show a girl who was full of goodness, or did it show a girl who was willing to throw away her principles for vanity and pride?

GOOD GIRL GONE…

Leah had grown up on a farm in Oklahoma. As a young girl, she saw how her family turned to God in the midst of a terrible tragedy: the murder of her grandfather. It was then, at age twelve, that she became aware that it was God alone who could mend any problem. Yet something happened after college. She had always felt attracted to fashion and had modeled extensively, but that year she was chosen to compete on Season 3 of the reality TV show, America’s Next Top Model. Soon she was living in New York City, and she began to experience the pull of the darkness that much of the fashion culture was leading her into.

BEAUTy AND THE BEAsT

Helen Alvare, a leading women’s expert, spoke recently about the “dark side” of our media-driven culture: “We have the ability to broadcast to each other and to the world constant, loud, and dramatic images, including sexually charged images of women. Women are ‘objectified’ by being identified solely with their bodies.” As Pope Benedict XVI says, “This is hardly man’s great ‘yes’ to the body.” Our souls are either ignored or considered irrelevant in this type of culture.

BEAUTy AND THE BAbE…Of GOD

Talking with Brenda, Leah began to remember a beauty she had often felt inside her soul: the beauty of being loved by God. She looked at the choices she was making and realized she needed to come back to the Father’s house. She needed to be authentic about who she was as a child of God. She wrote in her diary, “Satan has had his fun with me for too long. I have been blinded by ignorance and corrupted by vanity and pride. I take back from Satan what is Yours and I give my entire self to You…. Dear Lord, make me new again in You.”

GIVING BACK

Talking with Brenda and praying, Leah felt the call to change her life and to give back some of the love she had received from God. She moved back to St. Louis, where she helped put together the first St. Louis Pure Fashion team. She still models, but has used her college studies to develop her healthcare career in neuropsychology assessment. She is also the youth minister at Sacred Heart Parish in Eureka, Missouri.

THE POWER Of MODELING

So, what was it that Leah saw in the Pure Fashion girls? “We’re not modeling a certain designer,” says fifteen-year-old Erin Moore, a Pure Fashion model from Josephville, Missouri. “We’re modeling the Great Designer.” “We are all made in his image,” says seventeen-year-old Jessica Loos. “ And Pure Fashion is more about finding the way he wants us to be and acting on it.”

The girls take part in a yearlong program that not only mentors them on being beautiful on the outside, but also shows them interior beauty, the beauty that springs from the heart. They learn that spiritual values, such as deep kindness, a strong relationship with God, and moral courage bring a deep happiness of heart that shows on the outside—a happiness that changes other peoples’ hearts as well.

The yearlong program includes not only sessions on runway style, professional makeup, and public presentation, but also includes a spiritual retreat, community service, and discussions on the sort of values that make a girl a better image of God’s love and affirm her innate dignity.

POsTER GIRLs PUsHING A REVOLUTION

In putting on their shows, these girls also have become the undisputed poster girls for the modesty movement. They believe they can be pretty without being provocative. The shows highlight their beauty by featuring clothes that focus on the grace, elegance, and joy of being feminine without being a consumer object.

And the boys notice. As one teenage boy said after an Atlanta Pure Fashion Show, “These girls are much prettier than the ones who dress provocatively. They’re the sort of girls you want to be around, the ones you feel special being around.”

Not only do the boys notice, but the fashion industry is taking notice too. Stores are studying these girls to see what they consider hip-yet-modest. Pure Fashion Shows receive strong patronage from stores such as Macy’s, Nordstrom, Gap, Limited Too, and other fashion chains. Professional clothing designers are offering their services to the girls as well.

FUN AND FAbULOUs

Pure Fashion is no small-time organization. Thirty different cities across North America are holding Pure Fashion Shows this spring, and there are Pure Fashion Shows in Paris, as well as in other European cities. Many of the shows give teens an experience that rivals famous fashion shows in New York. Grammy award-winning singers such as Rebecca St. James often perform at the shows. Emmy award-winning production companies such as Executive Vision in Atlanta have found that the shows offer them a special opportunity to showcase their services as well as promote a better culture.

Brenda Sharman, a former Miss Georgia and still a professional model, said, “When some of my other professional model friends came in and saw Pure Fashion they were just amazed. The Pure Fashion Show truly blows away all other fashion shows in the South in terms of production quality and attendance.”

BEAUTy AND ATTRACTION

What is it about beauty that attracts? And why is real beauty more than just physical? Beauty is an expression of God. And human beauty is an expression of the personal nature of God. It is an expression of our call to friendship, to see another person as a remarkable gift. In our human nature, the attraction we feel towards beauty can bring us into communion. It can bring us into communion with God and with others.

GIfT IN GIVING

Real love, as Pope Benedict reminds us, is ecstasy. It is a becoming caught up in the beauty of another person, the spiritual beauty of the person, and giving ourselves to another person because we discover his or her true beauty. This is a reflection of our desire to love God. When we finally see God, we will be caught up in his beauty, and we will want to be with him in a way that makes all our present desires seem small by comparison. These girls, in a powerful and countercultural way, are teaching us about God. And they are teaching us about the true beauty of being a woman. We have much to learn from them.

Bible Blurbs:

“Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”
(1 Tim 4:12)

“…so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word…when they observe your chaste and reverent behavior.”
(1 Pt 3:1-2)

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
(Mt 5:16)

“For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”
(1 Cor 6:20)

Pope Quotes:

“Down the ages Christianity has been communicated and disseminated thanks to the newness of life of persons and communities capable of bearing an incisive witness of love, unity and joy.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

“…witness to the beauty of being Christian in an age when the opinion was spreading that Christianity is a difficult and oppressive way to live.” ( His Holiness Benedict XVI, March 24, 2007)

“Christ, who is ‘the beauty of every beauty’… is made present in the hearts of men and women and attracts them to their vocation which is love.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

Saints and Heros:

BEAUTy fOR THE KING

 St. Agnes of Bohemia, Nun of the Order of St Clare (entered heaven around 1282)

Agnes was a much sought after bride. Being the daughter of the king and queen of Bohemia (today’s Czech Republic), and Bohemia being a political jewel, she was bartered around in various arranged marriage proposals. As she grew, however, she began to feel directly attracted to Christ. By the time she was twenty-eight, she had been promised in marriage more than four times. At this point, she was already a young lady, beautiful, gentle, wise, and elegant, adding her own charms to her political sweetness. So attractive was she, in fact, that the emperor of Europe, Frederick, asked for her hand in marriage. Agnes, however, had by then decided to live only for Christ and had even asked the Pope to stand as protector of her private vow of virginity. Most girls don’t say “no” to emperors, so everyone (the Pope included) was a bit apprehensive about breaking the news to Frederick. To his credit, however, the emperor responded gallantly, actually a bit flattered to have been turned down by someone who had already been chosen by the King of heaven.

Free from worldly concerns, she was able to devote herself completely to prayer and serving souls in need. She built hospitals and started a religious order to care for them; she built hospices and poorhouses; she even built a Poor Clare convent, which she then entered as a humble religious. Soon she was made superior of the community, however, and served there the remaining fifty years of her life. She was beloved by all and because of her social position, she was able to spread the healing light of Christ throughout Europe merely by her example.

HELPING OTHERs CATCH GOD’s FIRE

St. Bernard, Abbot of Clairvaux, Doctor of the Church (entered heaven on August 20, 1153)

Bernard was of noble birth, and he showed extraordinary social and intellectual talent and skill from a very young age. By the time he finished his education (he was twenty-two), all that the luxurious world of the Middle Ages (for nobles, anyway) had to offer was within his grasp. But he felt God calling him to forsake it all for a higher Kingdom. He struggled at first, but he asked the Lord for strength and clarity, and he received both.

And then came the amazing thing. Instead of just marching off on his own to join the newly reformed monastic community at Citeaux, he started talking to friends and family members about his decision. He spoke so powerfully about the merits of putting one’s life wholly at God’s service that he convinced one after another of them to accompany him. By the time he set out, he had gathered about him thirty-one young noblemen. They all showed up together on Citaeux’s doorstep to offer themselves for the Lord’s service, much to the surprised delight of the abbot, St. Stephen Harding, who had not received a new novice for several years. Nothing like it has ever occurred in the history of the Church.

St. Bernard was always gushing forth beautiful speeches and sermons about the love of God. It was a love he had come to know, and that was the real source of his prodigious career—and it really was prodigious. He founded the famous monastery at Clairvaux, which in turn fathered sixty-eight other Cistercian monasteries. He gave spiritual (and political) guidance to popes and emperors, kings and barons, abbots and saints.

He resolved wars and schisms by the force of his wisdom and tact. He defended Catholic scholarship against secularism (the infamous rationalist Peter Abelard was his contemporary), rallied all of Europe in an effort to defend fellow Christians in the Holy Land (under the banner of the doomed “Second Crusade”), and left a wake of miracles in his path as he trekked back and forth across the continent in defense of God’s honor. True, all he really wanted was to retire from the world and devote himself to prayer and solitude, but he willingly embraced the cross God fashioned for him—much to the world’s benefit.

Christ’s love had set St Bernard’s heart on fire with love, which in turn inflamed others’ hearts. So if you really want to change the world, let yourself be totally caught by the transforming love of Christ.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1. What do you think of Pure Fashion? Do you think it is a good idea? Do you think it is effective? Can you think of some stereotypes these girls might be overcoming by their shows?
2.  What do you think of Leah Darrow’s story? Do you think she did the right thing by leaving a promising career as a supermodel and dedicating herself to Pure Fashion? What reasons made her leave the supermodel atmosphere? Do you think she feels more fulfilled now? Why? 
3. What do you think of modeling shows like America’s Next Top Model? Do you think they help women be more admired and valued? Do you think they make women feel good about themselves? How would you improve these types of shows? 
4. What are the spiritual values that make a person more attractive? How do people who live these values help others to know and love God better? 
5. Why do you think the media and fashion industries are interested in Pure Fashion?
6. What do you think of the modesty movement? Do you think it helps girls? Do you think it helps boys? In what ways might it help? 
7. What about boys’ fashions? Are there some ways guys are encouraged to dress today that sends the wrong message? 
8. What are some ways in which guys and girls can help one another “perceive the person” and not just the body in the way they act and the way they dress? 
9. Do you think that practicing the virtue of modesty can make a person happier? In what way? 
10. In what way does human beauty express who God is? In what way does beauty remind us that we are made for God? 

ACTIVITIES 

• For girls: Read the fashion guidelines on the Pure Fashion Web site and go on a shopping trip to the mall with some friends. You don’t have to buy anything, but each girl should put together an outfit that pleases her and also meets the guidelines on the site. Afterwards, have a discussion about what you chose and what your fashion choices express about you and your goals or values in life. (The guys can do something similar, using their common sense and an adult mentor as a guide.)
• For both guys and girls: Write a letter to a clothing chain or magazine that promotes an immodest vision of guys or girls. Explain your thoughts or concerns. Make a promise to shop at their store if they make some changes. See if you get a response. 
• Investigate whether there are any stores that feature clothes that promote a positive view of guys or girls (i.e., stores that respect modesty). See if any of their clothes look interesting or fashionable to you. Write them a note thanking them for their efforts. Buy something from them the next time you need to buy some clothing. 

JOURNAL WRITING 

1. Write an essay about the type of person you might like to marry. If you are a guy, try to define the type of girl you would like to marry. What special qualities make a girl attractive to you? If you are a girl, try to explain the type of boy you would like to marry. What types of qualities make a boy attractive to a girl? 
2. Write a letter to that imaginary person. Tell him or her some things you would like to improve about yourself in order to prepare for the day when you marry. Explain to him or her some of the values you would most like to share in your marriage. Talk about the type of values and experiences you would like to share with your children. 

RESOURCES 

Sites

• Pure Fashion Web site 
• Some media reports about Pure Fashion
• Short summary of Leah Darrow’s faith and beliefs 
• Talk by Helen Alvare: “Female Objectification Not All Fault of Men” 
• Letter on the Dignity of Women by Pope John Paul II
• Models for Christ Web site 
• Letter to Women by Pope John Paul II 

BOOKS 

• Theology of the Body for Teens, Discovering God’s Plan for Love and Life, Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler, 2006, Ascension Press 
• God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex, David Hajduk, 2006, Pauline Books and Media 

What do most people remember most about the Super Bowl Game of 2004?  Is it the 85-yard touchdown pass by Jake Delhomme that broke the Super Bowl record of the longest touchdown pass ever thrown? Is it the 41-yard field goal that Adam Vinetari kicked to win the game with four seconds left?  Oh, C’mon, do we even remember the score?

Most likely, what people will remember will be the half-time show, when network television crossed the line of decency during this family event. The half-time show, with sexually explicit lyrics, dancing and ripping off of clothing, crossed a line that should make us think and act.

Lowering Standards

Getting used to something bad can happen little by little. For years the networks and our culture as a whole have been moving the line of what’s viewed as appropriate or decent for young people and family audiences.  Slowly we have become desensitized in no longer feeling shocked or surprised in hearing and seeing images that show a lack of respect for women, and promote sexuality as a vehicle for self-pleasure.

How do we know if we have been desensitized?  The test is whether we feel a sense of surprise, shock or embarrassment in what we experience. Although most viewers thought Justin and Janet’s actions were wrong, most of us weren’t surprised that an MTV half-time production presented lewd dancing, raunchy lyrics and sexual moves.

Sexuality and marriage

God has a beautiful plan for sexuality. God has created sex as one way to love as He loves. Obviously, God does not have sex, but he does love us with intensity and complete fidelity. The tenderness, intimacy and passion of the union of husband and wife are meant to be an image of the intensity of God’s love for each of us.

God’s love is a personal, faithful, and committed love. Real love means being capable of laying down your life for another person. God meant sex to be that way too. Sex means that God has asked you to be the visible sign of his love for that person. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body” (Gen 2:24).

Bonding and babies

Also, sex is directly linked to God’s power and joy in creating another human person. Spouses are saying with God: “You are so wonderful that this world would be a better place if there were more people like you. I commit to being the father or mother of our child.“
Sex is a powerful and beautiful thing, but like so many beautiful things, its beauty is also fragile. Its power and beauty can also be misused. Using sex as something that simply makes us feel good without a permanent commitment to the other person turns sex into  selfishness, manipulation and slavery. To paraphrase a line from a movie, “Your body is making promises to me that you have no intention of keeping.”

But it’s just a T.V. show

Much of today’s media has tried to promote a selfish vision of sex. Television shows, movies, advertisements and music often suggest sexual relations without marriage, making people think that it is okay, or that it is just a trivial activity for fun and self-pleasure. In a Kaiser Family Foundation study, 76% of teens said that one reason young people have sex is because TV shows and movies make it seem normal for teens.i  An honest look at our own experiences tells us this is true, especially in relationship to sexual images and topics.

Sex Sells

It’s instructive to ask why there are so many sexual images in the media.  The answer is that sex sells, and selling things makes companies lots of money.  Stirring up sexual feelings in people can trigger our emotions, our minds and our body chemistry.  It’s easier to forget the answers to the social studies test than an advertisement that’s tied to sexual feelings.  Advertisers know this is part of human nature, so they study it and use it to exploit us so we will buy their products. They place more value on their profits than they do on the truth and dignity of human sexuality.

How far is too far?

Many would say, “Having sex is one thing, but the way I dress and behave is another. You can go pretty far without ‘doing anything’.” Apparently Justin and Janet did not “do anything” either, and yet it was clear that they went “too far”.

When something is special we treat it with respect. Sex is very special. Deep down, it means making a complete gift of one’s self to another person. The key is the word “gift”. Modesty creates respect for that gift. It reserves the gift for that one special person who has committed his or her life to me. Modesty does not mean dressing ugly. When we want to give someone something special and “just for him” or “just for her” we usually wrap the gift with beauty and wait until the right moment. Modesty means protecting that gift and making it as special as it was meant to be.

Modesty and mystery

Modesty actually makes a person more beautiful. In true love there is a mystery about the other person that creates an awe and fascination. This is not a game. Each person is truly a mystery, because each person is made in God’s image, and belongs first of all to God. Marriage and sex mean being allowed into the mystery of another person in an intimate and permanent way. Contrast what happened in the show to what the Church teaches about the delicate beauty of sex. That beauty should be protected and promoted by the virtue of modesty.
“Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love…Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing…It protects, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. “(CCC, 2522-3).
Thus it becomes a question not of “how far is too far”, but rather, how much you are willing to respect what real love is all about.
“That’s just the way things are nowadays.” …Oh, really?
It’s important to realize that we have the power to try and change things when we experience something against our values. Although the majority of people are aware that there is a general lack of modesty in television shows, it was not until this occurrence that they decided to do something about it. 200,000 people complained to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) about the half-time show. That is a new record.

Thanks to the action of the American people, steps were immediately taken to ensure decency the following week.  CBS took some responsibility and decided to broadcast the Grammy Award show on a five-minute delay, so they could delete anything that was too raunchy before it was sent into our homes.

Janet Jackson was asked not to attend the Grammy Awards, in hopes of the outraged society cooling down their memories of being offended. Justin Timberlake was still there to get his award and apologize to the public. Female performers at those awards decided to dress more modestly.

At the following week’s Pro Bowl planned half-time songs were eliminated that included sexual language.

The FCC is looking into charging monetary fines to those responsible. Since TV and media are also about money, placing large fines for each violation can be very effective. Over the last ten years the FCC has shied away from doing this, but increased public demands of decency can give this government agency the confidence it needs to enforce already existing laws that are meant to protect the beauty and dignity of sex.

Our power as consumers can also make a difference. Boycotts and protests to advertisers and companies get the companies’ attention. Thus, it is not only the responsibility of the government and the television stations, but also of the American people to safeguard the decency of the media.

These short-term steps are encouraging. However, the real test comes over the long term.  After the present criticism dies down, will the media go back to using sex as a tool for selling shows and products, and will it still portray sex as a tool for self-pleasure?  And what about the larger issue of promoting sex outside of marriage? Will we wait until people are completely desensitized to begin to protest and work for change?

Bible Blurbs

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”  1 Corinthians 6:13
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her… (Ephesians 5: 25)
“But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt 5:28
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? … Therefore honor God with your body.”     1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Catechism Clips

• 2520 Baptism confers on its recipient the grace of purification from all sins. But the baptized must continue to struggle against concupiscence of the flesh and disordered desires. With God’s grace he will prevail …-by the virtue and gift of chastity, for chastity lets us love with upright and undivided heart; …- by purity of intention …- by purity of vision, external and internal; by discipline of feelings and imagination; by refusing all complicity in impure thoughts that incline us to turn aside from the path of God’s commandments: “Appearance arouses yearning in fools”;314 - by prayer:
• 2521 .… Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden … It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them.…
• 2525 Christian purity requires a purification of the social climate. It requires of the communications media that their presentations show concern for respect and restraint. Purity of heart brings freedom from widespread eroticism and avoids entertainment inclined to voyeurism and illusion.
• 2361 “Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.“143
• 2496 The means of social communication (especially the mass media) can give rise to a certain passivity among users, making them less than vigilant consumers of what is said or shown. Users should practice moderation and discipline in their approach to the mass media. They will want to form enlightened and correct consciences the more easily to resist unwholesome influences.

Quotable Quotes

“It is well known how this young girl had to face a bitter struggle with no way of defending herself. Without warning a vicious stranger burst upon her, bent on raping her and destroying her childlike purity. …With splendid courage she surrendered herself to God and his grace and so gave her life to protect her virginity. …
“From Maria’s story … young people with their zest for life can learn not to be led astray by attractive pleasures which are not only ephemeral and empty but also sinful. …
“Not all of us are expected to die a martyr’s death, but we are all called to the pursuit of Christian virtue. This demands strength of character though it may not match that of this innocent girl. Still, a constant, persistent and relentless effort is asked of us…”  From a homily given by Pope Pius XII at the canonization of Saint Maria Goretti (Maria died in 1902 at twelve years old, protecting her purity from the aggressions of a young man.)
“Dear young people… You are right to be disappointed with hollow entertainment and passing fads, and with aiming at too little in life. If you have an ardent desire for the Lord you will steer clear of the mediocrity and conformism so widespread in our society.” (John Paul II Message for World Youth Day 2002)
http://www.themediaproject.com/news/itn/122002.html

Vocabulary

Respect for Others -Showing honor and consideration for each human being; upholding the dignity of every person
Responsibility - Being accountable for our actions
Modesty - Being decent or appropriate in dress, speech, and behavior
Exploit- Use to one’s advantage
Decency -Proper behaviour in speech, dress and behavior
Desensitized- Made emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks.
Scandal - behavior that leads another to do evil. Unseemly conduct of a person that causes moral lapse in another; cause for stumbling, temptation

Saints and Heroes

St. Genesius of Rome was a performer in the Roman Empire during the 4th century who was martyred for a show in which he expressed his values. As a comedian and leader of a theatrical group, he had the opportunity to perform one day before the Emperor Diocletian. Although he originally intended to ridicule the Christian rites by pretending to receive the Sacrament of Baptism, he converted onstage. When the water was poured over his head, he proclaimed himself a Christian. Diocletian at first enjoyed the realistic play, but finding Genesius to be in earnest, ordered him to be tortured and then beheaded (c. 303). His feast is August 25, and he is the patron of actors, theatrical performers and musicians.

Blessed Angela of Foligno (1248-1309) Born in Foligno, Italy as a wealthy non-Christian, she married young and had several children. She was a worldly and frail woman who lived wildly, adulterously and sacrilegiously for a while. She had a conversion in 1285 when she saw a vision, and after the death of her mother, husband and children she turned completely to God and penance. As a Franciscan tertiary, she led a group of other tertiaries and was known for her charity, patience and humility. She died on January 4, 1309 in Foligno of natural causes. She is the patron of people ridiculed for their piety, and for those suffering temptations.

Discussion Questions

1. Do you think that television is helping to raise or lower your community standards? Do you think that television is helping to raise or lower family values?
2. What is the importance of keeping sexuality inside marriage? Why did God give it such importance as to make it a sacrament? What is true love?
3. If your class is familiar with the TV show Friends, read to them the following quote and then open it up for discussion:  “Our teens are victims of a society which is toxic to their sexual health.  Television programs like “Friends” are selling sex to my patients.  These are lies that need to be exposed to the television audience.  Statistically, on Friends, two of those people should have an STD.  Have we heard about it? NO! OF course you don’t, because they don’t want to talk about that, because then nobody wants to watch the show.” Dr. Meg Meeker, Saving Our Children, Front Line, St. Louis. Winter 2003

Personal Reflection/Writing

1. What are some ways we can strengthen our own values without having to throw the television out the window? How can we form our consciences to know what parts are good and what parts are not? How can we help friends who might not have the same means that we have to stay strong, and might be more influenced by what they see in the media?
2. Write a letter to your future spouse. Tell him or her what type of a person and spouse you want to be for him or her. Tell why you promise to wait for him or her.

Resolution Idea

1. Go through your closet and get rid of immodest clothing. Vow to dress more modestly.
2. File a formal complaint with the FCC http://www.afa.net/petitions/fcccomplaint.asp

Resources

www.teens4truth.com
Kreeft, Peter Back to Virtue Ignatius Press, pp. 165-176
Madrid, Patrick, Surprised By Truth II (Story about a model who had a conversion)