Breaking Big

Even if you don’t like their music, there is no denying their success. Though their ages are only 16, 19, and 21, these three New Jersey brothers have already fulfilled a lifetime’s worth of dreams. They’ve sold millions of CD’s and mp3 downloads, starred in movies, and played to packed arenas worldwide. Their pictures and posters line the lockers of tens of thousands of girls, and their fans are so into them it’s almost creepy. So whether or not their latest songs are on your playlist, they must be doing something right to be so successful.

Nick, the youngest in the band, was in a Broadway show at a very young age. By 12, he was approached by Columbia Records and offered a deal to make Christian music. On some of the recordings, Nick’s two older brothers, Kevin and Joe, joined him. The record company loved the sound so much, they decided to market them as “the Jonas Brothers”. Their first album of Christian music didn’t sell well with Columbia Records. But because of both their raw talent and their wholesome family appeal, Disney and Hollywood Records picked them up immediately. Their second CD was almost sold out before it was released.

BB Good in Hollywood

Though they are not making religious music anymore, the same Christian values their parents raised them with still influence their music, lyrics, videos, and, most importantly, their lives. Nick told Fox Extra, “We believe that we are Christians in a pop-rock band. That’s just the way we do it. Our faith is really important to us and it’s a big thing in everything we do.”

Kevin tells Cross Rhymes, “With our music we’re trying to be successful. Our whole thing is to play mainstream music but to be a light in a dark world and to tell people that we are Christians when they ask, ‘What’s so different about you?’ We’re like, ‘Well, we’re Christians and we love the Lord.’ That’s our opportunity to witness to people. We just feel like this is where we belong – ‘This is who we are and let’s just go for it!’”

Lovebug

In spite of their fast-paced, star-studded careers, Nick, Joe, and Kevin seem to be looking for the same things that most teens are. “Like all people our age we are trying to find someone special that we can share time with in our busy lives,” they recently wrote on their MySpace. They admit it is hard to have relationships when they live life the way they do.  Many times they find themselves on different continents than their friends.  This makes it hard to take a girl they like to the mall, the movies, or a school dance.

The Girl

So what kind of girl does a international, teenage, millionaire, heart-throb date? Well, the list of girls linked to the Jonas Brothers includes famous starlets such as Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Camilla Belle, and Taylor Swift. But you will find a common trait among many of the girls that are seen hanging out with Nick, Joe, and Kevin: most of them have stated publicly that they are saving sex for marriage.

Why should this be important to these three TV, movie, and rock stars? Although they are rich, famous, and can date nearly anyone they would want, the boys have decided that chastity is the most important value to them; both personally and in dating relationships.

The Rings

Not too long ago, in an interview on the Disney Channel, the Jonas Brothers told the world that they wear “purity rings” (also called “promise rings”) to symbolize their commitment to living a chaste life until they are married.

Pushing Them Away

Almost immediately, the press began to make a huge stink about the rings. Some news reporters tried to discredit them. Others brought on experts saying that it is not possible to be a mentally healthy teen while making a promise like this to abstain from sex until marriage. Some people accused the boys of using this as a publicity stunt. It seems that the news media and gossip columnists can’t believe that three famous, wealthy, good-looking guys could possibly survive Hollywood careers while holding on to their virginity.

Holding On

But the boys defend their position. They do their best to keep their private lives private. They try to keep their relationships with young women on a friendly level. This is a very mature attitude, because it shows they realize that at their age, and with their busy schedules, it doesn’t make sense to let a relationship get too serious. Nick explained the rings in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, “To us the [purity] rings are a constant reminder to live a life of values. It’s about being a gentleman, treating people with respect and being the best guys we can be.”

That’s Just the Way We Roll

Chastity and purity rings all of a sudden became very popular.  From that point on, most of the press for the band consistently included discussions about the rings. A very famous journalist named Barbara Walters wanted to interview the boys.  Walters did her best to get the boys to slip up or back down about their purity rings, but they would not break. There was one other thing that was very evident in their interview with Ms. Walters: these brothers stick together.

Band of Brothers

This is the secret to their success both musically, and morally. They rely on each other, protect each other, and find strength in knowing that they’re living chaste lives together. When one of them was offered a part in the movie Camp Rock, their father insisted that all three be included.  Their father knows that if they stay together, they can survive the crazy rat-race that usually ruins teen stars.

Strength in family

Another source of strength these guys have is their parents. Dad and Mom are their best friends. And they not only give them advice, but they also know the ropes of performing in a band and going on tour. Their parents were performing Christian artists for many years. Dad is actually their manager and vocal coach. “There’s times when he’s Dad and times when he a manager,” explains Joe. “He’s a ‘dadager’… He’s awesome. We love our dad.” But what the brothers especially admire about their parents are their values. Their parents have dedicated their lives to standing up for Jesus and for Christian values (Dad is a Christian pastor and Mom is his #1 helper). They have also shown the boys that, in spite of the fact that they are not perfect, they can walk the talk, and help their sons walk it too.

“Our family is really close,” said Joe. “We kind of built our whole foundation on making sure that our family is really strong. They’ve always been there for us… That’s why we decided to go (on tour) with our own family bus.” Hanging out with Mom and Dad may not seem very cool to many teenagers and pop stars, but the Jonas Brothers have shown that family can give us strength to live up to our values, even when the attraction of easy, loose relationships seems so powerful.

Keeping All the Promises

The Jonas Brothers have shown us that the best way to keep a commitment to God and to their future spouses is to surround ourselves with brothers (and sisters) who share the same values and who are striving to live a life of faith in God. They acknowledge that despite all their wealth, fame, and good looks, the best gift they can give their future spouses is the complete gift of themselves.

Giving Hope

Nick, Joe, and Kevin also realize they have a responsibility, even in the midst of so much success. They can give hope to others. If they can live a life of purity and chastity amidst the glitz and glam of Hollywood and rock-stardom, they give hope to teenagers everywhere. Girls deserve to know they are worth waiting for. There’s no denying that this is a big part of the success of these brothers.

Attraction

Why are boys so attracted to girls? And why are girls so attracted to boys? Because we are made in the image of God. And God is love. God is relational. God, within his very being, lives in a relationship of love (He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.), and God lives in a relationship of love with his creatures. So, like him, God made us to love. We are made to love him, and we are made to love others.

Special Love

One of the most special ways to love like God is the love between a man and a woman. In married love, spouses dedicate their lives totally and exclusively to each other. In married love, a boy and a girl are called to be the living expression of God’s love for the other person.

Built on Friendship and Respect

But this type of love does not just happen by a physical relationship. It is built on friendship. It is sustained by respect, kindness, and patience. It only truly works when there is total commitment, after a sustained period of getting to know each other and respect each other. When we put the physical relationship before there is a solid friendship and respect, and before there is a total commitment, we find that love does not last. It simply ends in broken hearts.

Something We Can Learn

So, guys, show tenderness to the girls, but show respect. Show each girl you really can wait.  You may find that it’s not just the Jonas Brothers that the girls are swooning about (although they might not admit it … until they really trust you.) And girls, continue to believe in that special someone. There are good guys out there, guys worth waiting for. Hold on, and God will bless your love.

Bible Blurbs

“I was on guard against sin. So the LORD rewarded my righteousness, the cleanness of my hands in his sight.” Psalm 18:24-25

“Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

“A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit… Restore my joy in your salvation…   I will teach the wicked your ways, that sinners may return to you. Psalm 51:12,14-15

“The LORD loves the pure of heart…” Proverbs 22:11

Catechism Clips

2533: Purity of heart requires the modesty which is patience, decency, and discretion. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person.

2347: The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one’s neighbor… friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion.

2532: Purification of the heart demands prayer, the practice of chastity, purity of intention and of vision.

2395: Chastity means the integration of sexuality within the person. It includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery.

Pope Quotes

“Love is possible…; trust in a love that is true, faithful and strong; a love that generates peace and joy; a love that binds people together and allows them to feel free in respect for one another.”

“My dear young friends, I want to invite you to “dare to love”. Do not desire anything less for your life than a love that is strong and beautiful and that is capable of making the whole of your existence a joyful undertaking…”

“…God has a project of love for your future as a couple and as a family… The love of a man and woman is at the origin of the human family and the couple formed by a man and a woman has its foundation in God’s original plan.”

“Learning to love each other as a couple is a wonderful journey, yet it requires a demanding “apprenticeship”… It allows you to mature in love, in concern and in attention for each other; it helps you to practice self-control and to develop your respect for each other.”

Pope Benedict XVI, WYD 2007

Saints & Heroes

It takes a saintly family to raise a saint…

Blessed Louis Martin (1823-1894) & Blessed Zelie Guerin (1831-1877)
Louis Martin was born in Bordeaux, France on August 22, 1823. Everyone expected that after school he would have a a military career like his father. Louis wished to become a priest, instead. However, since he had trouble learning Latin, he determined perhaps God did not want him to be a priest after all. He went back home and became a watchmaker. He opened his own watch and jewelry store and was successful. Zelie Guerin was born at Gandelain, France, on December 23, 1831. Zelie received a very good education and training that made her a very skillful lacemaker. She attempted to enter the convent, but as she spoke with the nun in charge they concluded that it was not what God wanted for her. Zelie started her own lacemaking business, and she was very successful, too. Both Zelie and Martin each had good businesses and lived a comfortable life, making good money. But they still felt hungry inside for something more. They wanted to feel like they had found God’s plan for their lives. Until one day when they happened to pass each other on a bridge in town. As Zelie crossed, she passed a young man with a strong face, who carried himself with confidence and dignity. She felt like she heard a little voice in her heart say, “This is the one I have prepared for you.” Soon after, she found out who he was, and the two were introduced. The two young people quickly got to know each other. The common faith, values, and spirituality they shared allowed them to fall in love quickly. While many of their friends were marrying for social position, Louis and Zelie saw their marriage as a response to God’s will. Shortly after they got married, they took in a five-year-old boy whose mom had died and left his father with 11 children. They had thought they would live their lives like Mary and Joseph, being married but remaining virgins as a sacrifice to God. But now they learned how much joy they found in caring for this little boy. A priest friend talked to them about how married people can also practice chastity, by loving and being faithful to each other. They decided they would show their love for each other and for God by having as many children as they were able to care for. In the next several years, Zelie would give birth to 9 children. They wanted to have a boy so that he could become a priest. Sadly, 4 of their babies died as infants. But they never despaired, and were joyful and grateful to God for their 5 living daughters. Tragically, when their youngest daughter was only 4 & 1/2, Zelie died of breast cancer. Mr. and Mrs. Martin passed on to their children their deep love for God. They taught them a simple way of prayer and offering your whole life to God. As a result, all 5 daughters decided to become nuns. One by one, Louis gave his daughters to God. The youngest, named Therese, not only became a nun, but a saint; St. Therese of Lisieux! After Therese entered the convent, Louis became very sick, and eventually was paralyzed. He offered his sufferings to God and inspired everyone around him. Just this past year, Pope Benedict XVI studied evidence that a boy was cured by praying for the Martin’s intercession, and declared them Blessed. They are only the second married couple to receive this honor together. Soon, they will hopefully be made full-fledged saints! Their feast day is July 12.

Virtuous Verbiage Verification

Abstain – to deliberately keep from doing something or consuming something as a means of self-denial Chastity – a gift of the Holy Spirit, having control over your thoughts and actions, keeping your actions and intentions pure. Commitment – an agreement or pledge to do something. Purity – state of being free from any stain or sin; being as God made us to be. Purity of morals commonly refers to the virtue of chastity and therefore freedom from any wrongdoing in sexual activity. Respect – high regard, esteem, honor; to treat with special dignity Virginity – having had no sexual relations. Witness – one who gives evidence or testimony; one who offers their own story as proof.

Discussion questions:

1. If the Jonas brothers went to your school, how would they be treated? Would they be accepted for their values, or put down? What if they weren’t so famous or talented – Would people be less tolerant of their values if they were just “ordinary” guys?
2. Look at the Bible Blurb on page 4. It is one of the Beatitudes. Beatitude means complete happiness. Do you think following this Beatitude makes the Jonas Brothers more happy, or less happy? Are they closer to real happiness than their peers who don’t live these values?
3. What does the Church or the Pope think about falling in love? Is it OK for a Catholic to get romantically involved with someone? Does the Church think marriage is only for making babies and not about love?

Journal Writing

1. Imagine you have a friend who is struggling to keep his/her values. Maybe people at school, or a boyfriend/girlfriend are pressuring this friend to do something that is wrong. Write a letter explaining what you just learned about chastity, and living a life of values and purity, and how the Jonas brothers are an example of how to do it.
2. Write about a time when a friend or sibling or a groups of friends helped you stand up for what’s right or avoid a bad situation. How did it feel to have their support? Was it easier? How did you feel about yourself after? How did you feel about them?

A little while back, there was some controversy about Joe Jonas’ break up with Taylor Swift. Split into 2 teams. One team, present the case that Joe is immature and mean for breaking up with Taylor on the phone. The other side, argue that Joe wasn’t mean, that there is another side to the story, and that Taylor Swift was taking things too seriously. But remember, it is a debate… so you still have to be nice!

Activities:

1. Come up with a list of other celebrities you know who live these values; especially ones who also do something like wearing a purity ring.
2. Make a playlist of songs that you think are good, and are by musicians who live a life of good moral values. Write letters or emails to some or all of the artists or their record companies expressing your support for their lifestyle.