We all dream of meeting the perfect guy or girl. We probably have a whole list of things that “special someone” will have: good looks, fun personality, kindness, etc. We often ask God for help in finding that person, which is not a bad idea, since God really wants us to be happy.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber both pray. J B is open about the fact that he prays often. “Never Say Never”, his recent docu-movie, clearly showed him praying at diffeent moments. He prays with his family and crew before his concerts. He and his buddies prayed before sharing pizza (The pizza prayer was a real buddie moment: half funny, half serious). In his autobiographical book Justin clearly states he is a Christian and explains how some aspects of the Christian faith help him in his life.

Justin also took time this past year to make a pilgrimage (religious trip) to Israel where he wanted to pray at the places where Jesus had lived.

And every teenage girl knows “the Bieb” carries a tattoo on his ribs that spells Jesus’ name in Hebrew, a tattoo that his dad also carries.

Selena Gomez is Catholic. She and her family try to attend Sunday Mass as much as her constant traveling permits. She admits that her favorite times growing up were those weekly moments when they could take part in Mass as a family and have more family time afterwards. She says God is a huge part of her life.

Selena also made the news a few years ago because she was wearing a chastity ring. She explained that it was promise that she wanted to make to God when she was 13. She had asked her dad to buy her this ring and she took it to a Catholic priest to have it blessed.

Selena isn’t wearing the chastity ring any more. Many say it’s because she felt that she could’t keep that promise any longer. They say that she and Justin have already “done it”.

Others say the ring restricted her fashion choices.  Selena is in huge demand for fashion shoots and has to change her look slightly for every shoot. So the ring was too restricting.

But it is clear that Selena grew up asking God to help her meet the right guy, and the chastity ring was part of that.

Maybe Selena has found the right guy. Maybe she hasn’t. That’s up to her. In a recent Teen Vogue interview Selena explained that now that she is 18 she very much wants to fall in love but is not sure if her first 18 year old love will be the person she eventually marries. All the paparrazzi photos seem to confirm that she is in love… and that her love is J. B.

So, if she and Justin want it to last, what should they do?

Well, first of all they should really try not to go too far. If they already have (We are all weak when we are with someone to whom we find a really attracted, so we know we have to be careful.) they should set some boundaries, so that the physical aspect of the relationship is kept under control until they actually commit to each other (By commitment I mean getting married.)

Sex is good, and it is designed by God to help us fall more in love with the person we have committed our lives to, the person with whom we want to be with for the rest of our lives, the person we want be the father or mother of our children.

But because we are weak we often want to “have desert” before “the main course”. The main course means building up a really strong friendship and mutual respect. It involves spending time with that special someone without letting the physical attraction make us lose our heads before it’s time.

The fireworks are a beautiful part of love, but they only last for a while if they are not founded on something bigger, something more than physical attraction. What lasts is mutual respect, mutual esteem. These things help keep the flame alive and active even when the original “intoxication” of love (This stage of love is usually called infatuation.) begins to wear off. Mutual respect and esteem also help to revive the “intoxication” experience when it grows dim.

So, be careful, Selena and Justin. Spend time together. Learn to listen to each other. Find out what you agree on. Find out where you disagree. Have some fights.

Yes, I am serious! Find out what things you don’t agree on. It’s OK to have disagreements and see if you can work things out, respecting the opinion and values of the other person without compromising your own. It helps the relationship to mature.

Also find out what aspects of your own personality you need to improve to make the relationship work.

Find out what aspects and values are not worth giving up just to please the other person.

Then, if you are going to make the relationship last you will need to cut back on the constant traveling. We all have a right to have a career. We all have a right to travel. But in order to make love last we need to be around for the one we love. That is a tough sacrifice when your career is so successful and the career demands constant traveling.

It’s seems to me that at this stage you are probably not ready to make this kind of sacrifice, Selena and Justin, and you both seem to know it. So keep scheduling time together. That’s good, really good.

But if you are going to take it to the next level you need to talk about the sacrifices you are going to have to make in a few years. And a few years come sooner than we think.

So this romance is going to be pretty difficult…

But, …wait.

Justin has said that he wants to be married and start a family by the time he is 25.

There’s something for you two to talk about, Selena and Justin. Talk about it privately. No pressure. Figure out if  you are serious about this. Do you and Selena want to start cutting back on your careers in about five years? That would be totally cool… for your romance anyway (maybe not so much for your fans, but most of them would totally understand) It’s definitely something  that could make your romance turn into something more than a passing flame.

But you have to show you are serious about this. Start making real plans now, not just vague desires. Talk to your parents and your managers about this. But know that in the end it is up to you two.

Leaving successful careers is pretty scary. You’re only 17 and 18. And you’ve got a lot of future in front of you.

But you seem to know what you want. And wanting to marry a wonderful girl or a great guy is a really good thing.

Starting a family at 25 is certainly doable. It depends on how much you want to mature. There are many lasting and happy marriages that were started at that age. Very happy marriages. I know a lot of them. But it does take sacrifices.

Yeah, sacrifice. That’s the hard part of love. Sacrifice doesn’t mean we have to be miserable or give up all our dreams, but it does mean seeing clearly which are our most important dreams. What dreams are going to make us the most happy? Love is definitely a dream worth making some sacrifices for.

Jesus has a cool story about love. He says that when a man finds a treasure hidden in a field he goes and sells all he has in order to buy that field (Matthew 13: 44). Jesus was talking about love for God when he told this story. But it also applies to human love.

True, Selena nor Justin, neither of you should give up absolutely everything else that is good about your lives. You should still be able to perform. You should still have lots of friends besides each other. You should still travel.

Just that that these other good things will have to be reduced a bit. You might even want to go “cold turkey” for a little while (“Cold turkey” means giving up something totally for a while.), at least the travelling, just to find a new balance.

So, maybe you are not ready for this yet, but it is a good time to start talking… Let’s hope you do. I’ll be praying for you.

Reps for J.B. say he posted this picture on his site. Caption: “Brangelina 2.0 hahahaha”

Good movie about courage and doing the right thing. The hero is an underdog who is chosen for an experiment by a scientist who sees greatness in him: greatness of heart. The young man’s strength is not anger and revenge but wanting to stand up against any kind of bullies, be them the guy in the alley or heads of state. His dreams seem to come to nothing, but he seizes an opportunity when others are sure the situation is hopeless. Good movie about true heroism without looking for the limelight.

This movie is one of the few Christian movies that I’ve seen that does not fall into the “corny” category. It is a story about a man who is given a second chance by God to see what his life could be like if he had chosen a less selfish path. It celebrates family and service without being patronizing.

I think the acting is excellent, and the dialogue is not the sort of soppy cliche stuff that we have come to expect in Christian movies. It is much more real and honest. I especially liked the angel character, played by John Ratzenberger (Cheers, Toy Story 1-3, Wall-E). You can see why John is one of the six most successful actors of all time. I also really liked the acting of Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) who plays the wife and mother role.

This is not an action-adventure movie. It is a thoughtful movie, so be prepared to think and ponder as you watch it. It covers a very important theme we all need to think about: am I becoming a person of love or a person of selfishness?

This is a movie about a tough man who carries a secret: he needs to ask forgiveness. His pride doesn’t want to, and yet part of him does want to. Ever been in that situation? Robert Duvall, in a stellar performance, helps us walk with this man as he struggles. This movie is worth seeing even if you think you can’t sit through anything other than a shoot-em-up, explosion, chase scenes movie. This movie gives you depth, and helps you deal with the one of the tougher questions in life.

Let’s Pray…
Holy Spirit, give us the ability to see all things through eyes of faith. Show us how to discern, so we can embrace what is right and good, and reject what is not.

Every decade or two, a controversial figure emerges on the music scene. An artist who is completely dedicated to pushing the extreme limits of what society can handle, both musically and visually. Lady Gaga is without question this artist today.

In June, Gaga made the news not for her music or videos, but for indecent public behavior and obscene gestures at Citi Field (NY Mets game). Days later she found a way past security at Yankee Stadium and entered the Yankees’ clubhouse while intoxicated.

In an August 2 article from CNN, the pop diva admitted to continued occasional cocaine use. This is a direct contradiction with her previous statements saying she gave up cocaine and only occasionally used ecstasy. Both drugs can potentially have devastating effects with only one use; especially for someone like Lady Gaga, who has had drug problems in the past.

There is certainly a lot that is objectionable about Lady Gaga’s extremism. It seems like she will stop at nothing to see her name in headlines. But if we dig through the glam and glitter, behind the crazy costumes and characters and publicity stunts, is there ANYTHING we can learn?

Born on March 20, 1986, Lady Gaga was baptized Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. She grew up on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and learned to play the piano at only four years old. She attributes her unique attitude to the combination upbringing of her parents’ faith; her father is an Italian Catholic and her mother is a Methodist.

She has one sister who is 6 years younger than her. Although wealthy by many people’s standards, her family wouldn’t be considered rich in their neighborhood. Nor were they famous like some other pop artists’ families (Miley Cyrus, for example).

Stefani Germanotta went to all-girls Catholic high school at the Convent of the Sacred Heart (the same school as the Hilton sisters, incidentally). School plays and concerts are where she got her first taste of performing for large audiences. With her parents’ support, she worked hard; practicing two hours a day on her piano. She performed in clubs and bars around the city at only 14 years old.

At 17 she was accepted to a very prestigious music school called Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. After only a year at NYU, Germanotta dropped out of school so she could perform more gigs. Before her 20th birthday she had signed a record deal with Interscope and produced her first album, The Fame.

A Star Is Morphed

How did this sweet, Catholic school girl from a pretty normal family end up morphing in to the outlandish, far-out, queen of pop-crazy? After the brief college stint, Stefani went back to playing more “normal” music in a more traditional way. The turning point came when she took a break from performing to write songs in a new style; she calls it “glam music”.

One of the bars she played at a lot is called The Bitter End. Nearly every up-and-coming music act, and even an occasional full-blown star, plays this club at some point. She chose The Bitter End as the first place to play her new glam music. That first night, everyone was talking, eating and drinking, and having too much fun to listen. No one was paying attention to the poor teenage girl singing and playing her heart out on stage. Germanotta tried asking for the people to listen and be quiet, but they weren’t really interested.

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Stefani said, “Every bit of me is devoted to love and art…” She uses her music as a means to express her inner self; her struggles, her hopes and dreams, the things she can’t put into words. So she found this experience hard to take, because she had put so much of herself and her passion into writing the songs. She was really upset that no one would listen.

She quickly thought of ways to get people’s attention; and then it occurred to her to start removing her clothes… until she was singing in her underwear. Suddenly, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in shock. Some looked on in horror, thinking she was crazy. Others inappropriately ogled her. But everyone listened.

For Stefani, this was one of those moments when life teaches you a lesson. That night she learned not everyone is interested in hearing or paying attention to self-expression. Unfortunately, she also learned a cold reality about many people: she could MAKE them pay attention by showing some skin.

And so her new character was born, along with her provocative costumes, which are often even more scary and grotesque than they are scandalous. Being a stage performer in high school, Stefani found it natural to add performance art and dance to her acts. A little while later, a friend gave her a nickname based on the Queen song Radio-a-gaga: Lady Gaga.

Playing to the wound

Our culture makes it easy for many young women to feel as though the only way to get people’s attention and approval is to misuse their sexuality. The sad truth is the reaction of the people in that crowd, and millions of people since then, has only helped convince Lady Gaga that this is true. Themes of feeling used, poor self-image, and wounded dignity are found in many of her songs. “Bad Romance” for example, speaks from the standpoint of someone who settles for a bad relationship because they do not feel they deserve or can get anything better.

Wounding others

There is a point at which someone’s own self-expression stops being just about themself and starts to affect others around them. Lady Gaga learned this first hand with her father.

“Well, …it wasn’t really so easy for my dad, especially in the beginning. I mean we didn’t talk for months after the first time he saw me play, and uh, he didn’t understand… Because it was such a drastic change, um, from who I was in high school, and who I became.” A self-professed “daddy’s girl,” Lady Gaga has learned the price of expressing yourself and your own ideas without thinking about how it might effect others.

And her full time acting out of the Lady Gaga character, even when she is not on stage, could be altering her own idea of who she is, and even her father’s idea of who she is. Recently, Gage visited her father in the hospital and he sent her home to put on her makeup, because she didn’t look like what he’d come to expect from her. Some people may say this is simply Lady Gaga choosing who she wants to be; others may say she is walking a dangerous line of losing who she really is by always putting on a show.

So wrong, so right

Some of the lifestyle choices and behaviors Lady Gaga promotes, and gives example of, are unhealthy or self-destructive. However, every once in a while she makes you stop and wonder how someone who seems so wrong could say something so right. While her reasons and explanations for these things may not be coming from a healthy set of values, here are some things she has said that are in line with the Catholic values she learned growing up.

Television shows such as Gossip Girl and 90210 make money off of telling young people that sexual promiscuity is “normal” behavior for teens. Lady Gaga begs to differ:
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”

Mixing Messages

In other interviews, she says, “I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single…”

Can this be true? Is the singer who dances around in next to nothing and seems to promote the do-whatever-makes-you-feel-good lifestyle really telling fans that you can retain your virginity and still be cool? Yes she is!

Now, it may be for different reasons than parents, priests, and religions say the same things, but the lesson is the same. To Lady Gaga, it is important that you “own” yourself, and be in control of yourself, in order to give yourself away to a spouse. While she does not adhere to the Catholic Church’s teaching that you should wait for marriage, she does warn young people about giving in to sexual temptation simply because of the pressure that society or other people place on you.

“You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself.” she tells fans. And again, “So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.” Lady Gaga has chosen to focus on her career and her music right now. She understands that in order to have a successful relationship, you have to take time to get to know one another and establish emotional and spiritual intimacy. So rather than turn to meaningless encounters with people she doesn’t really love, she has decided to put off having sex. And she’s making sure to tell others to do so as well.

The way Lady Gaga speaks about having a family sounds very much like a Catholic ideal, and seems to contradict her typically ultra-feminist and anti-traditional views. Speaking about how she felt when her father developed heart trouble, Gaga said “I just wanted to have him walk me down the aisle and hold my babies…”

Once again, Lady Gaga surprises us with an insight into who she really is. While many around her are trying to question the idea of traditional family, her idea of normal is a husband and kids; a real family. “I want to have babies for my Dad to hold, grandkids. And I want to have a husband who loves and supports me, just the way anyone else does.”

Lady Gaga admits that she is “tortured” by her thoughts and inner dialogue. She says that there are questions and doubts that are constantly going on in her mind, so much so that she cannot sleep. This has at times made her so exhausted that she collapsed or got sick on stage. Gaga admits that she often needs medication in order to get much needed rest.

In an interview with CNN’s Larry King, Gaga reveals that some of the struggles she has are with faith in God and religion:

“Well, I struggle. I struggle with my feelings about the Church… I’m very religious… I was raised Catholic. I believe in Jesus… I pray very much… But at the same time there is no one religion that does not hate… another [religious, group, racial group, or sexual group.] I guess you could say I’m a very religious woman, but also very confused about religion.”

Being involved in the world of theater and entertainment has exposed her to a lot of people who feel marginalized or outcast by religion. The Catholic Church refuses to compromise on what is right and what is wrong, and many people feel badly and misunderstand that as some form of discrimination. This has led her to question her faith. So, where does Lady Gaga seem to be going for the answers?

These types of doubts and questions expose a danger of being consumed with your own thoughts, feelings, and uniqueness: the illusion of self-reliance. When someone spends all their time exploring and expressing their own ideas, feelings, and opinions, and goes to extremes to create a unique image, it can be easy to depend only on oneself. There is a huge temptation to expect to figure out all the answers on your own. This can make it very frustrating when you experience doubts or have questions you can’t answer.
It takes a lot of humility to go to someone else and ask them to explain something. It also takes a lot of trust. However, it can bring a lot of peace of mind when you understand that you aren’t the only one who struggles and that there are others who can help you. Especially in matters of faith, it is important to find someone who really knows what the Church teaches, who can explain things well and clear up any misconceptions you might have heard. Perhaps this could help Lady Gaga find some peace. But for now, she says the turmoil she feels gives her a lot of energy and topics for new music, so she’s making the best of it.

Gaga Saga Continues

What we see in Stefani, or Lady Gaga as she is called, is a struggle. A constant inner conflict, between expressing and exploring her darkest and most terrifying thoughts and feelings, and doing what she knows is right and what will make her the happiest on the deepest level, the level of truths that don’t change. It’s a struggle between finding a way to be unique while still trying to be popular. It’s about fighting to expose the things we think are great about ourselves, while having a war with those things that hurt our confidence and self-image.

It is a struggle that all of us endure. Lady Gaga talks a lot about defining yourself and choosing who you want to be. But if we look closer, she shows us that underneath her costumes and characters, beats the heart of person who is struggling with the chaos of self discovery. We all do our best to present an image that will impress others, but when life presents questions we can’t figure out, where will we go for answers?

Here’s a link to another article about Lady Gaga.

Pixar has done it again. They make us laugh, feel compassion, excitement, sadness, and joy. Yet all they use is a bunch of children’s toys. It’s an amazing accomplishment, showing the power of simple values. Buzz Lightyear is always hilarious with his self-absorbed, yet noble personality. And Woody teaches us loyalty to friends in a heroic way. It’s probably this lesson that most impressed me, but I sure had fun while I learned the lesson. This is a must-see for all ages.

Oakland Athletics minor league prospect Grant Desme was on fire in 2009. He hit 31 homers and 89 RBIs with a .288 batting average in 131 games. Then he threw down an MVP performance in the Arizona Fall League, where some of baseball’s top AA and AAA prospects compete. In an unprecedented display of power during the 27 game season, Grant batted .315, hit a league-leading 11 homers, and drove in 27 runs! During an 11 game hitting streak from October 14-28, he hit 10 homers in 10 games.

This kind of success meant a move up to Class AA for the 2010 season, just two steps away from the Major Leagues. But with his chances of being a major league player now as real and close as the smell of his leather glove, Grant Desme shocked the baseball world. No, it wasn’t by crushing a home run or making a spectacular diving catch. He informed the Oakland Athletics that he was retiring at just 23 years old…

…to become a Catholic priest. People who didn’t know Grant may have thought this was a joke or a publicity stunt. However, Rob Fai, Assistant manager for the Oakland affiliate in Vancouver, BC, isn’t surprised about Grant Desme’s choice: “If you know Grant, the spiritual side of his life has always been a priority.”

Get in the Game

Gregory Grant Desme was born April 4, 1986, in Bakersfield, California. He attended Stockdale High School and was an all-area baseball selection his Junior and Senior year. “For my entire life, baseball’s been my life,” Grant told the LA Times. Like most young athletes, he grew up dreaming of being a professional player and one day being in the Hall of Fame.

It takes a serious amount of practice and dedication to reach this level in a sport, and growing up Grant devoted every available second he had to working on his baseball skills. In an interview with Catholic.org he said, “I could never get enough baseball in my life.”

After playing for San Diego State University, and later for California Polytech State University, he was drafted in the second round by the Oakland Athletics. He played the 2007 season for one of the A’s minor league teams, but was injured early in the 2008 season.

Time Out

Grant suffered a separated shoulder which allowed him to play only 2 games in 2008. For the first time since his childhood, he had to live life without baseball. He finally got to think about who he really wanted to be and what he really wanted out of life.

“My injuries were the biggest blessings that God’s ever given me,” he said, “[…]I’ve defined myself as a baseball player. When it was taken away, it was kind of an eye opener, a real shock. Either way, if I played in the big leagues and became a Hall of Famer, you never know when it’s going to end.”

Reading the Signals

During this time, Grant visited an order of priests called the Norbertines at St. Michael’s Abbey. During this time, he had a chance to pray undistracted. He got to see first hand what it meant to be a priest and a monk, and what life is like when you are wholly devoted to God. “I started doing some soul searching about who I was, and this is where it’s led me.” The monks at the Abbey lead a life of quiet and prayer, something Grant found refreshing compared to the circus parade of public attention in which a pro athlete lives. “I could see that being home,” he said.

Grant felt a pull in his heart; a deep sense that God was asking something of him. This is called a vocation. Not only did Grant feel this calling from God, but he truly in his heart felt the desire to follow it. He quickly knew this was where he would find his truest peace and happiness.

Bottom of the ‘09th

Grant made an interesting decision next. He wanted to leave baseball on a different note. It would mean one thing to leave for the priesthood after a year off from injury. But he wanted to try one more season of professional play before he made his decision final. Desme returned for the 2009 season, and as you read earlier, it was an incredibly successful one for him.

On his nationally syndicated radio show, Dan Patrick asked Desme if he had trouble concentrating on the game while having already made up his mind to become a priest. Grant answered, “I still had my job to glorify Him, to use it to the best of my abilities.” It took a lot of patience, discipline, and self-control to keep playing well while his mind was on the priesthood. He realized that we must do our very best at everything to give glory to God.

Now Grant felt he could peacefully make his decision. Knowing that he freely chose to walk away from a baseball career, in the midst of success and not injury, gave Grant the last bit of assurance he needed.

The Slugger Fires a Bombshell

On January 22, 2010, Desme publicly announced his change of plans. He had called Oakland Athletics General Manager Billy Beane and told him that he would be retiring from baseball to enter a Catholic seminary in order to become a priest. Grant explained his choice to the LA Times, “I love the game but I aspire to higher things.”

Despite his recent professional success, Desme realized he wasn’t completely at peace as a baseball player. “Unfortunately this dream [of being a major league baseball player], as I became older, turned into more of an idol. I ate, drank, and slept baseball…”

During his season off, Grant had realized that his love of baseball had been competing with his love for God. Once he truly felt inspired to be a priest, Grant said it would have been selfish for him to keep playing baseball. “Baseball is a good thing,” Desme said. “But that felt selfish of me, when I felt that God was calling me more. It took awhile to trust that and open up to it and aim full steam toward him […]” he explained.

Training is Key

As physically challenging as Grant Desme’s road toward the Major Leagues has been, it’s prepared him for the challenges that he’ll meet in the priesthood. Grant is joining an Abbey where the priests are required to do lot’s of prayer, work, and private study. He’ll spend hours and hours of study and preparation for homilies and preaching. A priest’s day starts very early in the morning, and often he has to answer calls in the middle of the night, too. Along with his work at the Abbey, Desme may also be asked to perform additional jobs just like your parish priest: celebrating Mass, baptizing babies, weddings, funerals, and hearing confessions.

Right now in the United States, there is only roughly one priest per 1,600 Catholics. This number clearly shows that Grant has a lot of work ahead of him. He’ll need all of the patience, discipline, self-control, energy, and determination of a professional athlete in order to successfully meet the demands of his priestly duties.

When asked about having to start his “career” all over from the beginning, Grant said, “It’s about 10 year process of studying, so in reality, this is kind of a comparison. It’s like I’m re-entering the Minor Leagues.”

His Crowd of One

Professional athletes have a lot of opportunities to use their talent and public status to show God’s love to the world. Kurt Warner, Troy Palomalu, and Tim Tebow are all football stars who use their sports image as a platform to talk about God, and whose stories have appeared in other articles in Our Faith In Action®. You may have recently even seen Tim Tebow use his star power to put a personal pro-life commercial on TV during the Super-bowl XLIV. Grant himself had said that he could have given glory to God by playing baseball. So why would Grant Desme choose to give up his position of influence?

In his radio interview with Dan Patrick, Desme was asked if he thought he’d be able reach more people for God as a professional baseball player than a priest. “[God is] the one in control,” Grant answered, “and whatever He wants is going to be the best for me and for everyone else.” But it goes further than that.

Grant is not the first professional athlete we’ve seen forsake his career to follow God in this way. In the November 2008 Issue of Our Faith In Action®, we learned about Chase Hilgenbrink, a professional soccer player, who entered the seminary. Both men had very similar things to say about their experiences. When you get very close to God, you start to think like He thinks, and you begin to want what He wants. Once they had tasted that closeness to God, they truly wanted to be with Him and do His will more than anything else.

Grant Desme sums it all up very well: “I wanted to give my life completely to God for love, for everything He has done for me,” Desme said. “I’m very thankful for that. Something like this is very little in comparison to what he has done for me.”

You’re On Deck

We should be very happy for Grant. He has found something that all the money and fame in the world can’t provide. “Deep down, I think I knew it was the right decision,” Grant Desme said. “I can’t explain the peace and joy I’ve experienced from making it.”

We can learn a lot from Grant’s decision and the process he went through to make it. Not everyone is called to be a priest or a nun, but we all want to be happy and find peace. Grant found it by getting close to God, and allowing his heart to be drawn to what God wants. If we can do the same, God will lead us to that same place of peace and contentment.

Tabloid socialite and TV personality Kourtney Kardashian recently made a decision that shocked Hollywood and rocked the reality TV world. The pop media is still in a frenzy over the news.
Kourtney, who is 30, is the oldest sister on the E! network’s Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s, and recently finished a season of her own show: Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami with her sister.
Los Angeles native Kourtney Mary Kardashian is the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, who was OJ Simpson’s famous trial lawyer. Her mom, Kris, is married to Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Decathlon Gold Medalist. Kourtney is a graduate of Marymount High School, an all-girls Catholic school in LA. She earned a degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Arizona in Tucson, in May, 2002. After that, Kourtney assisted her mom in opening several children’s clothing boutiques in New York and LA called “Smooch”.

Reality Shows

Her first stint with reality TV began in 2005 with Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, a show that followed celebrity kids working on a Colorado cattle ranch. The premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s in 2007 featured models Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe, who were joined by the rest of their family. This includes brother Robert, Jr. also a model, and step-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner and their parents Kris and Bruce Jenner.

Moving to Miami, Florida, Kourtney and Khloe began shooting their own reality show Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which aired on August 16, 2009. But that’s not all that aired that week. Kourtney also broke the news that she was pregnant.

Reality Bites

In an exclusive interview with People Magazine, (August 12, 2009) Kourtney revealed her thoughts as she struggled with what to do next.
“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not.”
Kardashian reflected that the “choice” of abortion is often made without a lot of thought and information:
“… I don’t think it’s talked through enough. I can’t even tell you how many people just say, ‘Oh, get an abortion.’ Like it’s not a big deal.”
She felt a lot of confusion and turmoil at this point.
“I called my best friend crying, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She said, ‘Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.’”

Alternate Reality

Kourtney’s doctor suggested that she do research in order to make an informed decision.
“I looked online, and I was sitting on my bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion,” she recalls.
“I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards.“
It began to dawn on Kourtney that abortion was not a choice for her after all.
“I was just sitting there crying, thinking, ‘I can’t do that,’” she said. And I felt in my body, this is meant to be. God does things for a reason, and I just felt like it was the right thing that was happening in my life.“
“For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish…”

Reality, Man…

Her boyfriend, Scott Disick, 26, came to her side to offer his support even though she had broken up with him already.
“He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself.“
He said, ‘I really want you to keep it [the baby], but I will support you whatever you decide to do.’”
“I really wanted to think it through for myself, and not hear what my sisters were saying, or what Scott was saying,” Kourtney explained.
“Even though I took it all in, I wanted it to be my decision.“
But the advice her doctor had given Kourtney at that first visit stayed with her.
“My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, ‘You may regret not having the baby.’”
“And I was like: ‘That is SO true.’”
“And it just hit me. I got so excited, and when I told Scott, he was so excited.“
When asked about future plans for marriage to Disick, Kardashian said,
“We talk about marriage all the time.”
Then she adds:
“I just feel like there is so much to do… We should do everything for the baby right now and I’ll worry about myself later.”

Harsh Reality

Perhaps the most convincing information about the effects of abortion comes from those who know first hand what an abortion can do to both a mother and her baby. Some women who have had an abortion write their testimonies, the stories of their sufferings, and post them on web sites such as silentnomore.org , afterabortion.org , or abortionfacts.com . These post-abortive women hope others read the testimonies and learn from them, and might be spared the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering they experienced after their abortion.
Dr. Alveda King, Director of the African American Outreach at Priests for Life and niece of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., applauded Kardashian’s decision. In a LifeNews.com interview Dr. King said,
“I am a member of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, which posts the largest collection of such testimonies on the internet precisely for the purpose of exposing the truth about abortion.”
In another interview Dr. King said:
“Kourtney’s testimony is so encouraging. She found messages from post-abortive women like myself on the Internet.”
It takes a courageous woman to give a testimony of the painful results of choosing abortion, as Dr. Alveda King knows. But saving a child’s life makes it worth the pain.

Reality Check

The flashy, anything-goes lifestyle of reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian and the decision she made proves a very important point. Anyone, no matter who they are, no matter how they live, no matter what they do, can find the truth by seeking it with an open heart.
Kourtney didn’t want opinions. She began to ask real questions about abortion. What will it do to me? What will it do to my child? Before she made up her mind, she gave herself the chance to really check things out. Asking was the most important thing in the life of her unborn child. It saved his/her life.
Kourtney Kadashian’s current lifestyle may not change much right away. She is still the glitzy socialite chic with a TV camera covering her every move.
But who knows what questions she may ask in the future? One thing is for sure. If she asks God for His help, she is sure to get it.

Reality Babe–y

Kourtney Kardashian soul-searched until she found the courage and determination to accept new life.
“This baby was unexpected, but it’s 100 percent still a blessing,” says Kardashian. (8/26/09 from TransWorldNews)
Her choice of love over selfishness was a life and death decision. True love makes sacrifices.
Regardless of her career, or what others would think about her decision, regardless of what might happen to her in the future, Kourtney chose the life of her baby over her own needs.
For her, it was selfishness to do anything less.
Kourtney’s baby is due around Christmas. We pray she will continue to hear the voice of God.

Rebecca Dussault is going for the gold, and yet she feels that she has already won. Few would suspect that one person could excel as a young wife, mother and world champion cross-country ski racer.

At age 15 Rebecca started cross-country ski racing, and found herself climbing quickly to the top. She seemed to have the winning combination that U.S. Nordic Ski Coach Peter Vordenberg later described: “Rebecca is a talented an athlete as we have ever had. She has the physical talent, the mental drive, and the emotional support of her family and her strong Catholic faith.” She loved the sport because it brought her into the beauty of God’s creation. She skied with others who shared both her love for the outdoors and for God.

“We used to go skiing in the middle of the night with a group from our church and our priest, who was an avid outdoorsman,” she recalled. “He would celebrate Mass for us in the moonlight.”

A DIFFICULT CHOICE

When Rebecca married her childhood sweetheart, Sharbel, at age 19, she thought her skiing days were over. “My main reason for hanging my skies up at such a young age was to re-prioritize and break away from the spotlight. My skiing had become all-consuming and I realized that I was not going to be able to keep up the demanding schedule and raise a family.” For her, the first priority became and still is her vocation to marriage.

She and Sharbel had been friends since age 11, when his mother home schooled both of them. “We felt a strong bond of friendship we knew would last into marriage and until death,” she said, “We knew we were made for each other unto our eternal betterment.” They are both fervent Catholics.

A year after her wedding, with a spirit of docility in asking God through prayer what He was asking of her, she decided to give up skiing to show what was really important in her life. “I was convicted by the Lord that He wanted more of me than I was giving to Him,” she explained, “and that ultimately I would have to leave skiing to attain this gift of self.” This decision required true courage in taking the risk of giving up a proven and successful life in competitive racing to answer God’s call to focus on her new family.

“I would be remiss if I didn’t share with all of you my truest love of all,” she said, “the Lord Jesus Christ and his holy Catholic Church. My faith is the most important thing in my life.” “Having the same faith formation as my spouse has had unbelievable advantages,” she said, “It was never a question as to whether or not we would fully embrace the Church’s teachings.”

On November 29th, 2001, Rebecca gave birth to a son, Tabor, her “pride and joy.” When she went to the Olympics in Salt Lake City to watch her teammates compete, she hugged her son close and told herself that he was her gold medal.

THE PIVOTAL RACE

After a three-year break, the Dussaults began to discuss the possibility of Rebecca racing again. In February of 2003 she entered a local race where she found herself competing against the two-time Olympian, Katrin Smigun, who was undefeated in all her college races.

The gun fired, and the racers took off. Soon, however, Rebecca and Katrin had left the others behind. The crowd was astounded as the two women raced neck to neck for 25 minutes. They crossed the line in a photo finish, but no one had a camera to prove who actually won.

The next weekend, Rebecca challenged Katrin in another race, and this time won. Together with her husband, she decided to begin the process of discerning whether God wanted her to get back into the world of racing.

BACK TO THE SKIS

The Dussaults again lived out the virtue of docility in their willingness to open their hearts and minds to God’s will. In humility they turned to prayer to discern God’s will, knowing that they needed God’s help and guidance. “After a lot of prayer and the determination to keep our family together no matter the cost, we came to the conclusion that now was the time. God had given me a talent and now he had given me another chance.”

Following God’s will would again require courage in taking on the rigors of Olympic training, and now with the added responsibilities of a family: “So here I am back on my skis training hard year round and proving to myself and to others that it is possible to live life to its fullest, be a mom, help run a business and persevere through all the ups and downs. It is all a matter of God’s graces helping me prioritize and schedule my life so that I can accomplish all of my goals.”

RACE SO AS TO WIN

Right now Rebecca has set her goals high: to ski well at the Torino Winter Olympics, to live heroic virtue, to become a saint, and eventually to have more children and educate them at home. With a humble resolution not to do it alone, she brings her family with her everywhere she races, and invokes the help of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati of Turin as her patron.

“I share all that I am trying to attain with those who are helping me to attain it. Traveling together is three times as full with a family but I would not sacrifice any of it because life is not just about crossing the finish line first. Throughout this journey the Lord has blessed us with family unity and taught us many lessons. I am blessed in every day to be able to share this with them.”

THE WITNESS OF A FAMILY

Sharbel has not just been with his wife every step of the way, but has shared in her struggles and triumphs as well. He has acted as Rebecca’s agent and photographer, taken care of Tabor in all of the hours of training, and has kept the business going so as to support the family. He knows that the greatest victory is not the gold medal, but the testimony of embracing the Catholic vision of marriage and the family.

“Our family has been a silent witness to the vocation of marriage among team members, staff, and perfect strangers,” said Sharbel, “It is very rare for a family to be seen traveling on the race circuit. We have been confronted and challenged to share our faith and our reasons for doing this as a family. We are committed to our marriage and family life. Nothing is more important than keeping our marriage strong and healthy.”

THE SECRET FORMULA

Rebecca has spent the last months in a rigorous training cycle. Her training goal was to have a fit body, to ski technically well and to have a constructive mindset which will enable her to tap into the tools and fitness she worked so hard to put into place in her training. She wants to be able to access all her physical, emotional and spiritual fitness so as to take on the world’s best at the Olympics.

She also has a wealth of motivations to spur her on: “I am motivated by my passion for competition, hard work, success, meeting goals, making friends, seeing the world, sharing my faith within sport, passing tron saint, Blessed Frassati said, “Ever Upward!”

Bible Blurbs

“Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17)

I urge you therefore… to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, … Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12: 1-2)

The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”….That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. (Genesis 2: 18, 24)

Pope Quotes

“Love is indeed “ecstasy”, not in the sense of a moment of intoxication, but rather as a journey, an ongoing exodus out of the closed inwardlooking self towards its liberation through selfgiving, …and indeed the discovery of God” (Pope Benedict XVI, God Is Love)

“It is part of love’s growth towards higher levels and inward purification that it now seeks to become definitive, and it does so in a twofold sense: both in the sense of exclusivity (this particular person alone) and in the sense of being “for ever”” (Pope Benedict XVI God Is Love)

“It is also your task to proclaim and to witness to the humanizing power of the Gospel with regard to the practice of sport, which if lived in accordance with the Christian outlook, becomes a “generative principle” of profound human relations and encourages the building of a more serene and supportive world.” (Pope John Paul II, June 26, 2004)

Pope John Paul II when he spoke of the value of sports with a supernatural perspective: “Precisely because your competing does not take place for the sake of mere and superficial amusement, but to give proof of your ability and of what fruits a long and arduous preparation may yield, sporting effort is a real school of human virtue, of which the ancient biblical book of wisdom writes: ‘When it is present, men imitate it, and they long for it when it has gone; and throughout all time it marches crowned in triumph, victor in the contest for prizes that are undefiled.’”

CATECHISM CLIPS

2826: By prayer we can discern “what is the will of God” and obtain the endurance to do it.

1604: Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator’s eyes.

1656: In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the domestic church.

SAINTS AND HEROES

BLESSED PIER GIORGIO FRASSATI (1901-1925)

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati was born in 1901 in Turin, Italy. His sister Luciana described him as representing “the finest of Christian youth: pure, happy, enthusiastic about everything that is good and beautiful.” He was an athlete and outdoorsman, enjoying all types of activities such as hiking, riding horses, skiing and mountain climbing. He also had a good sense of humor, with a love for laughter and practical jokes. Pier was from a wealthy family, but he lived simply so as to give to the poorest of Turin. He often served them in a hidden and humble manner. He contracted polio and died on July 4, 1925.

SAINT ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY (1207-1231)

Saint Elizabeth of Hungary was born in 1207 and died before her 24th birthday. At the age of 4 she was betrothed to 11-year-old Count Ludwig IV and was sent to Germany to be educated at his castle. The two children grew and were schooled together, forming a solid friendship. Elizabeth would often help the sick and the poor, and although she was criticized for this at court she refused to defend herself. Ten years later, the two were married, and they enjoyed several happy years together. They understood each other, and shared the task of raising four children.

Elizabeth was devastated when her husband died, only six years after the wedding, but she gave herself over to a life of poverty and working with the poor until the day of her own death. One of her daughters, Gertrude, also became a saint.

Virtue Vocabulary Verification

Courage- The capacity to meet danger without giving way to fear; to have the courage of one’s convictions; to be willing to put one’s opinions and beliefs into practice

Discern- To perceive, comprehend or recognize God’s will in a situation

Docility- Part of the virtue of prudence that allows us to learn from or be led by another

Humility- Virtue that reminds us we do not know everything and that God can be trusted to guide us as a good Father.

Vocation- An inclination, in response to a call, to undertake a certain kind of work; a calling

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. What are some of the qualities of the type of friendship Rebecca and Sharbel shared? How did this contribute to the success of their marriage?
2. Why is it important to discern God’s will for our lives? What advantages or benefits does it give to us?
3. How have Rebecca and Sharbel attempted to discern God’s will for them? How can we do this in our own lives? What other ways, besides prayer, do we hear God speaking to us?
4. What things do the Dussaults do to keep marriage and family life as a priority? In what ways do they give witness to the vocation of marriage?
5. How can a good spiritual life contribute to making a person a good athlete? How can a good athletic life help one’s spiritual life?
6. What kind of message are the Dussaults giving to the world? Imagine that you are designing a poster for Rebecca’s promotion. What slogan could you put on it?

JOURNAL WRITING OPTIONS:

1. Make a list of Rebecca’s priorities, and number them from the most important to the least important. Then, do the same for your own priorities and goals. What is most important to you? What is the least important to you?
2. Have you ever given up something and then found it returned to you again? Write the story of how you decided to give it up, what your motivations and difficulties were, and how you felt when you got it back.
3. Make a personal training program for your spiritual life. Pick one virtue that you want to excel in, and make of list of 5-7 concrete exercises that can help you practice that virtue. Make sure your training is rigorous, and will challenge you to grow. How can you practice this virtue at home? With your family? With friends? In your prayer?

ACTIVITIES:

• Sports Scripture Contest: Hold a timed contest in which students look through their Bibles to find passages related to sports (Run, Race, Strength, etc.). Students write the verse and reference on a sheet of paper to be submitted to the judges. The one with the most quotes is the winner.
• Rebecca Dussault says on her website: “Work out with people who need inspiration. Don’t be afraid to do an easy workout with someone who you may impact greatly.” Ask students to “adopt” a friend, younger sibling or neighbor whom they can do athletic activities with. Make a special effort to motivate and inspire them.
• Invite a speaker to the classroom on the theme of spiritual exercise/physical exercise, to speak about our need for both and some ways to practice health in both areas.
• Ask students to research on the Internet the life of St. Ignatius of Loyola, and to then write a summary of his recommendations for how to train for a life of holiness.

WEB RESOURCES:

• Rebecca’s personal website: http://www.dussaultskis.com/
• Winter Olympics 2006 coverage: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9134568/
• National Catholic Register article by Gina Giambrone, published in Volume 82, No.6, February 5-11, 2006 issue http://www.ncregister.com