We all dream of meeting the perfect guy or girl. We probably have a whole list of things that “special someone” will have: good looks, fun personality, kindness, etc. We often ask God for help in finding that person, which is not a bad idea, since God really wants us to be happy.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber both pray. J B is open about the fact that he prays often. “Never Say Never”, his recent docu-movie, clearly showed him praying at diffeent moments. He prays with his family and crew before his concerts. He and his buddies prayed before sharing pizza (The pizza prayer was a real buddie moment: half funny, half serious). In his autobiographical book Justin clearly states he is a Christian and explains how some aspects of the Christian faith help him in his life.

Justin also took time this past year to make a pilgrimage (religious trip) to Israel where he wanted to pray at the places where Jesus had lived.

And every teenage girl knows “the Bieb” carries a tattoo on his ribs that spells Jesus’ name in Hebrew, a tattoo that his dad also carries.

Selena Gomez is Catholic. She and her family try to attend Sunday Mass as much as her constant traveling permits. She admits that her favorite times growing up were those weekly moments when they could take part in Mass as a family and have more family time afterwards. She says God is a huge part of her life.

Selena also made the news a few years ago because she was wearing a chastity ring. She explained that it was promise that she wanted to make to God when she was 13. She had asked her dad to buy her this ring and she took it to a Catholic priest to have it blessed.

Selena isn’t wearing the chastity ring any more. Many say it’s because she felt that she could’t keep that promise any longer. They say that she and Justin have already “done it”.

Others say the ring restricted her fashion choices.  Selena is in huge demand for fashion shoots and has to change her look slightly for every shoot. So the ring was too restricting.

But it is clear that Selena grew up asking God to help her meet the right guy, and the chastity ring was part of that.

Maybe Selena has found the right guy. Maybe she hasn’t. That’s up to her. In a recent Teen Vogue interview Selena explained that now that she is 18 she very much wants to fall in love but is not sure if her first 18 year old love will be the person she eventually marries. All the paparrazzi photos seem to confirm that she is in love… and that her love is J. B.

So, if she and Justin want it to last, what should they do?

Well, first of all they should really try not to go too far. If they already have (We are all weak when we are with someone to whom we find a really attracted, so we know we have to be careful.) they should set some boundaries, so that the physical aspect of the relationship is kept under control until they actually commit to each other (By commitment I mean getting married.)

Sex is good, and it is designed by God to help us fall more in love with the person we have committed our lives to, the person with whom we want to be with for the rest of our lives, the person we want be the father or mother of our children.

But because we are weak we often want to “have desert” before “the main course”. The main course means building up a really strong friendship and mutual respect. It involves spending time with that special someone without letting the physical attraction make us lose our heads before it’s time.

The fireworks are a beautiful part of love, but they only last for a while if they are not founded on something bigger, something more than physical attraction. What lasts is mutual respect, mutual esteem. These things help keep the flame alive and active even when the original “intoxication” of love (This stage of love is usually called infatuation.) begins to wear off. Mutual respect and esteem also help to revive the “intoxication” experience when it grows dim.

So, be careful, Selena and Justin. Spend time together. Learn to listen to each other. Find out what you agree on. Find out where you disagree. Have some fights.

Yes, I am serious! Find out what things you don’t agree on. It’s OK to have disagreements and see if you can work things out, respecting the opinion and values of the other person without compromising your own. It helps the relationship to mature.

Also find out what aspects of your own personality you need to improve to make the relationship work.

Find out what aspects and values are not worth giving up just to please the other person.

Then, if you are going to make the relationship last you will need to cut back on the constant traveling. We all have a right to have a career. We all have a right to travel. But in order to make love last we need to be around for the one we love. That is a tough sacrifice when your career is so successful and the career demands constant traveling.

It’s seems to me that at this stage you are probably not ready to make this kind of sacrifice, Selena and Justin, and you both seem to know it. So keep scheduling time together. That’s good, really good.

But if you are going to take it to the next level you need to talk about the sacrifices you are going to have to make in a few years. And a few years come sooner than we think.

So this romance is going to be pretty difficult…

But, …wait.

Justin has said that he wants to be married and start a family by the time he is 25.

There’s something for you two to talk about, Selena and Justin. Talk about it privately. No pressure. Figure out if  you are serious about this. Do you and Selena want to start cutting back on your careers in about five years? That would be totally cool… for your romance anyway (maybe not so much for your fans, but most of them would totally understand) It’s definitely something  that could make your romance turn into something more than a passing flame.

But you have to show you are serious about this. Start making real plans now, not just vague desires. Talk to your parents and your managers about this. But know that in the end it is up to you two.

Leaving successful careers is pretty scary. You’re only 17 and 18. And you’ve got a lot of future in front of you.

But you seem to know what you want. And wanting to marry a wonderful girl or a great guy is a really good thing.

Starting a family at 25 is certainly doable. It depends on how much you want to mature. There are many lasting and happy marriages that were started at that age. Very happy marriages. I know a lot of them. But it does take sacrifices.

Yeah, sacrifice. That’s the hard part of love. Sacrifice doesn’t mean we have to be miserable or give up all our dreams, but it does mean seeing clearly which are our most important dreams. What dreams are going to make us the most happy? Love is definitely a dream worth making some sacrifices for.

Jesus has a cool story about love. He says that when a man finds a treasure hidden in a field he goes and sells all he has in order to buy that field (Matthew 13: 44). Jesus was talking about love for God when he told this story. But it also applies to human love.

True, Selena nor Justin, neither of you should give up absolutely everything else that is good about your lives. You should still be able to perform. You should still have lots of friends besides each other. You should still travel.

Just that that these other good things will have to be reduced a bit. You might even want to go “cold turkey” for a little while (“Cold turkey” means giving up something totally for a while.), at least the travelling, just to find a new balance.

So, maybe you are not ready for this yet, but it is a good time to start talking… Let’s hope you do. I’ll be praying for you.

Reps for J.B. say he posted this picture on his site. Caption: “Brangelina 2.0 hahahaha”

“People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.”

“You can say that I love ‘Love’. It fascinates me.”

“Today Was a Fairytale”, a song Taylor wrote for the Valentine’s Day soundtrack, dropped the third week in January. It quickly became the most downloaded single for any female artist, shattering the record previously held by Brittany Spears.

But in spite of her amazing success, it seems that Taylor has remained a very down-to- earth girl. Recently, on January 26th, she tweeted: “I didn’t notice until now that the person who made my coffee today wrote ‘you’re wonderful’ on the cup. It made my day.”

Fearless Love

In 2008, Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless” topped the charts, selling more than 10 million copies. Swift has received more than 50 major music awards to date, including one at the Video Music Awards in 2009.

Everyone remembers that during that acceptance speech she was interrupted by Kanye West who felt a need to tell the world that he thought Beyonce Knowles actually deserved the award. In a moment of humility, the world saw Taylor show self control, kindness, and respect for the rapper who was saying humiliating things in what should have beenher shining moment.

Taylor Swift’s describes what was going through her mind during the encounter with Kanye West at the Video Music Awards:
“Wow I can’t believe I won… This is awesome… Don’t trip and fall…
I’m gonna get to thank the fans…This is so cool…
Oh, Kanye West is here… Cool haircut… What are ya doing there… Ouch…
I guess I’m not gonna get to thank the fans…”

After that moment, she went backstage and tried hard to hold back the tears, because she had to perform again. There was an outpouring of anger from other artists who called on Kanye to apologize for his behavior. Later on, Kanye personally called Taylor and apologize. She accepted.

“I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless.
Then, moving on and being alright, that’s fearless, too.”

From a very early age Taylor has shown herself to be Fearless. Her pre-teen singing talents were discovered through performing karaoke songs locally at fairs and events. By the age of 10 she was an award-winning poet. At age 12 she started playing the guitar. She practiced for many hours every day. She learned to combine her talents for writing poetry with her passion for music.

Her family was very supportive of her talents and dreams. They even moved to Nashville, Tennessee, to provide more opporunities for their daughter’s singing career.

By the time she was 13, Taylor Swift had a contract with RCA Records but Taylor left when the company tried to force her into a predetermined stereotype of a teen singer.

Swift had a strong sense of self even as a young aspiring artist, and she wanted to sing and write her own songs. Scott Borchetta, of Big Machine Records, heard her singing at the Bluebird Café and sensed she could become a powerful artist . He gave her the chance to write her own music with his record company. At just 16 years old, Taylor’s debut song, Tim McGraw, vaulted her into the music spotlight.

Respect

Taylor Swift, like all teenagers, is learning to navigate the world of love. That can be even harder for Taylor because she is a celebrity. One tool that Taylor Swift uses to protect her heart is self respect. Taylor believes in herself. In her music you can hear that her heart is full of ideas, hopes, dreams and heartbreak. She understands what its like to feel like you are invisible, and she understands what it feels like to have her heart broken by unrequited love.
“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.“
— Taylor Swift,
Rolling Stone Magazine
And through her music Taylor is able to express these feelings to her fans. Rather than needing to express herself by wearing tight or ridiculously revealing clothes, putting up an over-sexed image, or getting into & staying in immoral relationships with guys who hurt her, she chooses to move on and let go. In her songs, we can often find something of ourselves to identify with.
“My goal is never to write songs that my fans can’t relate to.”
- Taylor Swift

Relationship Rebellion

Taylor Swift is leading a very special revolution. It’s not a rebellion based on fighting parents and injuring herself through the same old predictable Hollywood patterns of self-destruction. Instead, she’s revolting against Hollywood’s demand that she destroy her mind, body, and soul in order to fit in with all of the other celebrities. Swift tries to live out her belief in herself and takes care of herself.
“I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I’ve rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that’s always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn’t remember who they’d made out with the night before. You see, I don’t ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying.”
– Taylor Swift to the Brittish magazine, Seven

Even though she rebels against the studio, Taylor hasn’t had the desire to rebel against her parents.
Taylor’s parents have worked hard to teach her about what is really important in life. On her 18th Birthday Taylor’s parents threw her a party in Nashville with 200 guests:
“This is our gift to her,” said Taylor’s mother, Andrea Swift. “She knows the real gifts in life are relationships.”
Taylor has written about the love she feels for her family in her music.
“I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out, he’s better than I am.”
– “The Best Day”
written and produced
by Taylor Smith
She also rebels through her music when she says that the guy who she’s dating and loves needs to treat her with respect. The idea of being a “princess” is frowned upon in our society at times. Women are told by modern society that being treated like a “princess” by a guy is a sign of weakness, and that they need to give that up if they want a success in their career. Taylor shows us that we can challenge those assumptions.
In her songs she says that she wants the fairy tale society tells her to reject:
“You’ll be the prince
and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story
baby, just say yes”
– “Love Story”
written and produced
by Taylor Swift
Swift works hard to show through the way she lives her own life that a real fairytale is possible by choosing to respect herself and by rebelling against society’s demand for self-destruction.

Express yourself

Taylor Swift is an example of someone who reflects confidence and inner happiness. In her songs we see the many rejections, not being cool & not fitting in; she fearlessly shows vulnerability.
“When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried
‘cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them”
- Taylor Swift, “Fifteen”
Taylor Swift wrote this song about her friend who let go of her self-respect to feel a moment of “love” from a boy and lived to regret it. Taylor saw her friend’s pain and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t let that happen to her. So instead of depending on others to make her feel loved, Taylor Swift has chosen to passionately pursue a music career and develop everything she has in her self – all of her talents.

What talents do you have? What are your passions?

“The lesson I’ve learned the most often in life is that you’re always going to know more in the future than you know now!” - Taylor Swift

So what have you done this week to build your fairytale future?

Ever since she was a small girl Miley Cyrus knew she wanted to perform. Her dream has come true on a level that has amazed even her biggest fans (her mom and dad). But is Miley promoting a healthy vision of being a performer or is she slowly abandoning Christian principles?

In this lesson we will look at Miley’s background and her values.

We will also look at what it means to be a Christian in the entertainment world today.

Miley Cyrus was born into a musical family. Her dad is a successful country singer. Many of her relatives are musicians, and she grew up singing and attending her dad’s performances.

But there is more to her background than just being on the stage. Her father and mother are very into family. Miley grew up spending lots of time with her family.

Miley explains that when she was born, her dad’s music career was at an all-time high. But when she was about one or two years old her dad realized that he was losing something more precious than success. He was losing his family. “So he let go his music career and moved with the family … to the farm in Franklin to be the very best husband and dad he could be.” (Miley’s words)

Miley has spent lots of time with her dad, her mom, and all her family as she grew up, and this has continued as she became a star in her own right.

Another value that is very strong in Miley’s life is faith. Her dream is to be a light in the darkness of this world, a sign of hope.

When Miley first met “Prince Charming,”, (Everyone claims that the “Prince Charming” is Nick Jonas, and Miley has pretty much admitted it.) he asked her about her values. She immediately explained that she and her family are “hard-core Christians”.

She says that her whole family has gone to church on Sundays since she was a child, but when Miley was in middle school the family’s faith took a deeper step. “Brandi (Miley’s older sister) brought us to a new church in Franklin. The People’s Church was different. It became family for us. The members of our congregation hold each other accountable for the way we live our lives…For the first time our family started making decisions based on our faith…The People’s Church really opened my heart. It has made me truly thankful.”

Miley admits that one thing that makes her sad is that not enough people know Jesus. She tries to take time to read the Bible regularly, and her recent book is full of her favorite quotes from the Bible. She has also said that Justin Gaston (whom she costars with in an upcoming movie) got her reading the Bible even a little bit more.(Boys can have positive points, sometimes…)

One way Miley tries to live her faith is by helping others. She visits children in hospitals as she travels, a habit she picked up from her dad. She donates a portion of her earnings to charitable causes, such as Youth Service America and City of Hope (a cancer care center).

She also tries to communicate her concern over contemporary issues such as global warming.

Miley also wears a purity ring, as a sign of her Christian commitment to remain a virgin until marriage. “When I got old enough and there were boys in the picture, I asked (my parents) if it was time for me to get my own ring (like her older sister Brandi). My mom gave me one that has a circle on it, to represent the circle of marriage. There’s a little diamond in the center of the circle for me, and when I get married, there will be another diamond added. But until then, it’s just me. And it feels right.”

“The press might make fun of some people for wearing purity rings, but I don’t pay attention to that. They can think what they want. I have my morals!”

But Miley has been in some controversy about whether she really understands all her Christian values.

About two years ago a cover shot for Vanity Magazine appeared in which Miley had her back to the camera and seemed to be nude. In fact she was not nude, but the pose gave that impression. Many parents expressed outrage that a girl who is presented as a role model for young girls could pose for such a shot. The image was sending the wrong message.

Miley and her parents apologized for the image. They explained that in the studio the pose did not seem that provocative, but after they saw the magazine they realized that they had been mistaken.

This past spring Miley tweeted about the Miss California “gay marriage” question.

On her Twitter page, Miley said: “Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares!

“That’s like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he’s gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy.”

We can agree with Miley that Jesus loves everyone. But Jesus tries to make us aware of sin: those things in in our lives that are hurting us and hurting our relationship with God.

People with same sex tendencies are loved by God. But, like all of us, they are also struggling with sin in their lives. They desire love, but are looking for it in a way that will not bring them true happiness. And they end up drawing other people into a a cycle of unhappiness as well.

Sexual impurity hurts the persons who commit it, and it hurts society as well.

Recently, Miley has been involved in a controversy about pole dancing and provocative clothing. It seems that some poses and wardrobe choices in her debut performance of “Party in the USA” (By the way, OFIA thinks “Party in the USA” is a cool song.) could easily be interpreted as too close to the setting of a strip club. These critics may have a legitimate point. It was imprudent of Miley to accept such a setting for the inauguration of the song.

Also, a number of people have pointed out that many of the wardrobe choices Miley has made on her recent tour have been a bit immodest or provocative. Miley certainly is not a little girl any more, and does not have to dress as a little girl, but is she pushing the envelope too much in the other direction now?

This brings us to a final discussion about what it means to be a Christian and a performer in todays’ world.

Today, it is not easy to understand that things like immodesty and homosexual relationships are impure and destructive. That is because so many shows, movies, and music present the opposite message.

In this atmosphere it is easy for Christians to get confused. It takes real wisdom and discernment to distinguish between loving everyone and approving destructive behavior. Maybe some Christian might be able to explain this to Miley in a loving way. (Know anyone?)

Few can doubt that Miley Cyrus is an extremely talented performer. She has a gift for communicating joy. It is a gift given her by God, and she has worked very hard to develop it. She wants to help people by her performances. She wants to help them experience joy and love. She wants to give them hope. And she does this quite well.

But being a performer can sometimes lead to sending the wrong message. Miley has sent a great message many times throughout her career. But, precisely because she is so full of joy, Miley does not always realize that some aspects of her performances can have a meaning she did not intend. This is where the virtues of prudence, wisdom, temperance, and courage come in. This is where a wise counselor might help a bit.

Let’s pray that Miley continue to look for Christians who are gifted with wisdom to be her friends and advisors. Let’s pray that her friends and advisors continue to help her live Christian values.

We all need constant education and encouragement on what it means to be a Christian. Let’s continue to pray for Miley and encourage her in the good things. Let’s try to set a good example ourselves of what it means to be a Christian in the secular world. The world needs many more messagers of Christian life today.

Tabloid socialite and TV personality Kourtney Kardashian recently made a decision that shocked Hollywood and rocked the reality TV world. The pop media is still in a frenzy over the news.
Kourtney, who is 30, is the oldest sister on the E! network’s Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s, and recently finished a season of her own show: Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami with her sister.
Los Angeles native Kourtney Mary Kardashian is the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, who was OJ Simpson’s famous trial lawyer. Her mom, Kris, is married to Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Decathlon Gold Medalist. Kourtney is a graduate of Marymount High School, an all-girls Catholic school in LA. She earned a degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Arizona in Tucson, in May, 2002. After that, Kourtney assisted her mom in opening several children’s clothing boutiques in New York and LA called “Smooch”.

Reality Shows

Her first stint with reality TV began in 2005 with Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, a show that followed celebrity kids working on a Colorado cattle ranch. The premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s in 2007 featured models Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe, who were joined by the rest of their family. This includes brother Robert, Jr. also a model, and step-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner and their parents Kris and Bruce Jenner.

Moving to Miami, Florida, Kourtney and Khloe began shooting their own reality show Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which aired on August 16, 2009. But that’s not all that aired that week. Kourtney also broke the news that she was pregnant.

Reality Bites

In an exclusive interview with People Magazine, (August 12, 2009) Kourtney revealed her thoughts as she struggled with what to do next.
“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not.”
Kardashian reflected that the “choice” of abortion is often made without a lot of thought and information:
“… I don’t think it’s talked through enough. I can’t even tell you how many people just say, ‘Oh, get an abortion.’ Like it’s not a big deal.”
She felt a lot of confusion and turmoil at this point.
“I called my best friend crying, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She said, ‘Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.’”

Alternate Reality

Kourtney’s doctor suggested that she do research in order to make an informed decision.
“I looked online, and I was sitting on my bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion,” she recalls.
“I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards.“
It began to dawn on Kourtney that abortion was not a choice for her after all.
“I was just sitting there crying, thinking, ‘I can’t do that,’” she said. And I felt in my body, this is meant to be. God does things for a reason, and I just felt like it was the right thing that was happening in my life.“
“For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish…”

Reality, Man…

Her boyfriend, Scott Disick, 26, came to her side to offer his support even though she had broken up with him already.
“He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself.“
He said, ‘I really want you to keep it [the baby], but I will support you whatever you decide to do.’”
“I really wanted to think it through for myself, and not hear what my sisters were saying, or what Scott was saying,” Kourtney explained.
“Even though I took it all in, I wanted it to be my decision.“
But the advice her doctor had given Kourtney at that first visit stayed with her.
“My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, ‘You may regret not having the baby.’”
“And I was like: ‘That is SO true.’”
“And it just hit me. I got so excited, and when I told Scott, he was so excited.“
When asked about future plans for marriage to Disick, Kardashian said,
“We talk about marriage all the time.”
Then she adds:
“I just feel like there is so much to do… We should do everything for the baby right now and I’ll worry about myself later.”

Harsh Reality

Perhaps the most convincing information about the effects of abortion comes from those who know first hand what an abortion can do to both a mother and her baby. Some women who have had an abortion write their testimonies, the stories of their sufferings, and post them on web sites such as silentnomore.org , afterabortion.org , or abortionfacts.com . These post-abortive women hope others read the testimonies and learn from them, and might be spared the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering they experienced after their abortion.
Dr. Alveda King, Director of the African American Outreach at Priests for Life and niece of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., applauded Kardashian’s decision. In a LifeNews.com interview Dr. King said,
“I am a member of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, which posts the largest collection of such testimonies on the internet precisely for the purpose of exposing the truth about abortion.”
In another interview Dr. King said:
“Kourtney’s testimony is so encouraging. She found messages from post-abortive women like myself on the Internet.”
It takes a courageous woman to give a testimony of the painful results of choosing abortion, as Dr. Alveda King knows. But saving a child’s life makes it worth the pain.

Reality Check

The flashy, anything-goes lifestyle of reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian and the decision she made proves a very important point. Anyone, no matter who they are, no matter how they live, no matter what they do, can find the truth by seeking it with an open heart.
Kourtney didn’t want opinions. She began to ask real questions about abortion. What will it do to me? What will it do to my child? Before she made up her mind, she gave herself the chance to really check things out. Asking was the most important thing in the life of her unborn child. It saved his/her life.
Kourtney Kadashian’s current lifestyle may not change much right away. She is still the glitzy socialite chic with a TV camera covering her every move.
But who knows what questions she may ask in the future? One thing is for sure. If she asks God for His help, she is sure to get it.

Reality Babe–y

Kourtney Kardashian soul-searched until she found the courage and determination to accept new life.
“This baby was unexpected, but it’s 100 percent still a blessing,” says Kardashian. (8/26/09 from TransWorldNews)
Her choice of love over selfishness was a life and death decision. True love makes sacrifices.
Regardless of her career, or what others would think about her decision, regardless of what might happen to her in the future, Kourtney chose the life of her baby over her own needs.
For her, it was selfishness to do anything less.
Kourtney’s baby is due around Christmas. We pray she will continue to hear the voice of God.

It was an exciting moment. Carrie Prejean’s turn had arrived to answer a question from a judge during the final round of the Miss USA pageant. When the question came, Carrie’s stomach turned. The judge wanted to know what she, as the reigning Miss California and the potential Miss USA, thought about “gay marriage.” She knew what the man wanted to hear. But she also knew what she truly believed.

Carrie wondered: should she give the popular answer or speak her conscience? She quickly prayed for guidance.

We’ll get to her answer — and its aftermath — in a minute. But first, let’s take a quick look at Carrie’s life leading up to the Miss USA pageant. That will help us zero in on the point of this lesson: True marriage is worth defending … even when it costs you dearly.

Young love

Carrie Prejean was a shy child but, in high school, she became a four-sport athlete. Her softball team won a national championship. Then, encouraged by her parents, she joined a youth group at her evangelical Protestant church. She found that she loved to learn more about God, his love for her and his love for everyone. This knowledge became a source of deep joy for her.

Her parents and her church also taught her that her faith and her values would be challenged in the world today. She made a personal commitment to Christ and to her Christian values, prepared to deal with the challenges this commitment would bring.

You really think I’m pretty?

When Carrie was 17, some people began insisting that she enter beauty pageants. “I didn’t even know what a pageant was,” she told the press recently. But Carrie had always liked challenges and trying new things. The idea that she could be competitive in a beauty contest stirred her imagination.

Going for it

Carrie isn’t exaggerating when she describes herself as someone who can be very enthusiastic once she decides on a goal. She got the name of a woman who helps organize beauty pageants and called her. When the woman met Carrie, she seemed impressed. She explained the basics of the pageant and gave Carrie some information to look over and some forms to fill out. So it was that, at 17, Carrie entered her first beauty contest … and won!

College!

In college, Carrie continued participating in beauty pageants. She spent her freshman year at a state school, but after prayer and discernment decided that she wanted to attend a Christian college. She transferred to San Diego Christian College, a school known for promoting a strong faith life.

Carrie greatly enjoyed her new school. She saw the environment of faith and intellectual challenge as an opportunity to prepare for the future: She wanted to be a Christian leader. She wanted to help bring Christ to others and make a difference in the world. Most of all, she wanted people to know the deep sense of satisfaction she had found through a personal and prayerful relationship with Jesus.

Reaching out

Besides her studies and her beauty pageant preparations, Carrie also got involved in outreach programs to the handicapped and the hurting. She took part in a ministry to women exploited by prostitution and pornography.

Beauty strategy

During this time, Carrie’s attitude toward beauty pageants was, “Just be joyful and be myself. Be happy with who I am and try to show kindness to everyone else.” It worked. Her successes mounted with each contest. This past November Carrie won the Miss California USA pageant. She was also voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.

Prepping

Winning the Miss California USA title was exciting in itself, but it also qualified her for the Miss USA pageant. She decided to take a semester off from school to prepare for the pageant. She worked out, followed a demanding diet and studied many of the topics she might be asked about.

The Miss USA pageant took place in Las Vegas over a two-week period. Only the last day of the pageant, April 19, was shown on national television. Which brings us back to the question that changed her life.

Facing Down Fear

As the telecast began, the host named 15 finalists. Several rounds of competition followed until only five girls remained. For the final round, each finalist would have to answer a question from a celebrity judge. The girls picked judges’ numbers from a bottle and Carrie ended up with Judge No. 8 — Perez Hilton.

This man’s real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. He is famous for his abrasive personality and insulting commentaries on TV and the Internet. He is also famous for promoting changing the definition of marriage so gay couples can get “married.”

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage,” said Mr. Hilton. “Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

This was a loaded question. Perez Hilton was setting Carrie up to either cave in to popular pressure or make a fool of herself in front of millions of people.

Or so he thought.

At first, Carrie tried to soft-pedal her beliefs. “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

But as she spoke these words, she heard a still, small voice speaking to her heart. Which crown did she want more — the Miss USA crown or the crown Christ wanted to give her?

She interrupted herself in mid-thought. “And you know what?” she said. “I think that in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman — no offense to anybody out there — but that’s how I was raised and … I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Media Firestorm

As Carrie spoke these words, an immediate reaction rose from the audience. Most people applauded, encouraged by Carrie’s bravery and honesty, but there were also some boos. You probably already know that Carrie lost the contest.

Afterward, a famous television reporter asked her about Perez Hilton’s question. Carrie was surprised that such a famous reporter would want to talk to the runner-up rather than the winner. In her mind, what happened to her was simply a side story. She soon began to find out that this was not just a side story. It had already become national news.

Digging up dirt

In May, a celebrity-gossip blog ran a photo of Carrie partially undressed. Her back was to the camera, and the image was not especially racy by today’s standards, but the organizers of the Miss California pageant announced that they were investigating. Carrie, they said, might have her Miss California title taken from her.

Speaking in her own defense, Carrie stated that she had posed for the shot when she was 17 and pursuing a career as a model. She objected to the release of the photo.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

She has also pointed out that she was “naive and young” at the time of the photography and regrets having made the decision to pose for that particular shoot. Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage — which works to keep marriage between one man and one woman — spoke out in Carrie’s defense. “You don’t have to be a perfect person,” said Gallagher, “to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

“You’re fired!”

The media circus followed Carrie around for weeks. Then, on June 10, the final ax fell. Carrie was stripped of her Miss California crown. This was the title that had gotten her into the Miss USA pageant to begin with.The organizers of the Miss California pageant claimed Carrie had not been cooperative in carrying out her duties. Carrie disputed that claim.

“They don’t agree with the stance that I took [on gay marriage],” she said. “They don’t like me. From Day One they wanted me out, and they got what they wanted. … I was very respectful of people even when they slandered me and humiliated me,” she added. “I have not once stooped down to their level.”

With these words, and with her acceptance of embarrassing defeat, Carrie showed the world what Christian forgiveness looks like.

A Crown lost, a crown gained

Carrie may have been stripped of her crown as Miss California, but she certainly can stand tall. She has been given a crown of courage, even if many mock her and call her a hypocrite. She has stood up for marriage at a time when it is extremely important to do so.

Marriage really matters. It matters for all of society. Carrie has done her small part to witness to the beauty and truth of marriage.

Battles ahead

What does Carrie Prejean’s future hold? That remains to be seen. She still has many choices ahead of her.

One thing is for certain: The battle for the truth about marriage will continue. Legal experts foresee a very heated and difficult battle, because, with the approval of gay “marriage” in many states, the Christian view of marriage may be considered bigoted “hate speech” by government.

We Catholics, too, will be called on to defend marriage. Will we have the courage to stand firm as Carrie Prejean did — even when it means losing something we have worked hard for? When we experience loss, we can remember that nothing is truly lost when we stand up for truth.

On the contrary, we help others. Let us continue to speak the truth with love. Christ will give us our crown, and we will know the happiness of having helped others with our lives.

Every girl dreams of finding “the one,” “Mr. Right,” that special guy who looks into her eyes and makes her heart flutter… Every guy searches for that one girl who makes him feel like he’s king of the world. It turns out, no matter how famous or rich you get, that doesn’t change; at least so say the teen pop sensations, the Jonas Brothers. But these guys aren’t dating in typical Hollywood fashion.

Breaking Big

Even if you don’t like their music, there is no denying their success. Though their ages are only 16, 19, and 21, these three New Jersey brothers have already fulfilled a lifetime’s worth of dreams. They’ve sold millions of CD’s and mp3 downloads, starred in movies, and played to packed arenas worldwide. Their pictures and posters line the lockers of tens of thousands of girls, and their fans are so into them it’s almost creepy. So whether or not their latest songs are on your playlist, they must be doing something right to be so successful.

Nick, the youngest in the band, was in a Broadway show at a very young age. By 12, he was approached by Columbia Records and offered a deal to make Christian music. On some of the recordings, Nick’s two older brothers, Kevin and Joe, joined him. The record company loved the sound so much, they decided to market them as “the Jonas Brothers”. Their first album of Christian music didn’t sell well with Columbia Records. But because of both their raw talent and their wholesome family appeal, Disney and Hollywood Records picked them up immediately. Their second CD was almost sold out before it was released.

BB Good in Hollywood

Though they are not making religious music anymore, the same Christian values their parents raised them with still influence their music, lyrics, videos, and, most importantly, their lives. Nick told Fox Extra, “We believe that we are Christians in a pop-rock band. That’s just the way we do it. Our faith is really important to us and it’s a big thing in everything we do.”

Kevin tells Cross Rhymes, “With our music we’re trying to be successful. Our whole thing is to play mainstream music but to be a light in a dark world and to tell people that we are Christians when they ask, ‘What’s so different about you?’ We’re like, ‘Well, we’re Christians and we love the Lord.’ That’s our opportunity to witness to people. We just feel like this is where we belong - ‘This is who we are and let’s just go for it!’”

Lovebug

In spite of their fast-paced, star-studded careers, Nick, Joe, and Kevin seem to be looking for the same things that most teens are. “Like all people our age we are trying to find someone special that we can share time with in our busy lives,” they recently wrote on their MySpace. They admit it is hard to have relationships when they live life the way they do. Many times they find themselves on different continents than their friends. This makes it hard to take a girl they like to the mall, the movies, or a school dance.

The Girl

So what kind of girl does a international, teenage, millionaire, heart-throb date? Well, the list of girls linked to the Jonas Brothers includes famous starlets such as Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Camilla Belle, and Taylor Swift. But you will find a common trait among many of the girls that are seen hanging out with Nick, Joe, and Kevin: most of them have stated publicly that they are saving sex for marriage.

Why should this be important to these three TV, movie, and rock stars? Although they are rich, famous, and can date nearly anyone they would want, the boys have decided that chastity is the most important value to them; both personally and in dating relationships.

The Rings

Not too long ago, in an interview on the Disney Channel, the Jonas Brothers told the world that they wear “purity rings” (also called “promise rings”) to symbolize their commitment to living a chaste life until they are married.

Pushing Them Away

Almost immediately, the press began to make a huge stink about the rings. Some news reporters tried to discredit them. Others brought on experts saying that it is not possible to be a mentally healthy teen while making a promise like this to abstain from sex until marriage. Some people accused the boys of using this as a publicity stunt. It seems that the news media and gossip columnists can’t believe that three famous, wealthy, good-looking guys could possibly survive Hollywood careers while holding on to their virginity.

Holding On

But the boys defend their position. They do their best to keep their private lives private. They try to keep their relationships with young women on a friendly level. This is a very mature attitude, because it shows they realize that at their age, and with their busy schedules, it doesn’t make sense to let a relationship get too serious. Nick explained the rings in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, “To us the [purity] rings are a constant reminder to live a life of values. It’s about being a gentleman, treating people with respect and being the best guys we can be.”

That’s Just the Way We Roll

Chastity and purity rings all of a sudden became very popular. From that point on, most of the press for the band consistently included discussions about the rings. A very famous journalist named Barbara Walters wanted to interview the boys. Walters did her best to get the boys to slip up or back down about their purity rings, but they would not break. There was one other thing that was very evident in their interview with Ms. Walters: these brothers stick together.

Band of Brothers

This is the secret to their success both musically, and morally. They rely on each other, protect each other, and find strength in knowing that they’re living chaste lives together. When one of them was offered a part in the movie Camp Rock, their father insisted that all three be included. Their father knows that if they stay together, they can survive the crazy rat-race that usually ruins teen stars.

Strength in family

Another source of strength these guys have is their parents. Dad and Mom are their best friends. And they not only give them advice, but they also know the ropes of performing in a band and going on tour. Their parents were performing Christian artists for many years. Dad is actually their manager and vocal coach. “There’s times when he’s Dad and times when he a manager,” explains Joe. “He’s a ‘dadager’… He’s awesome. We love our dad.” But what the brothers especially admire about their parents are their values. Their parents have dedicated their lives to standing up for Jesus and for Christian values (Dad is a Christian pastor and Mom is his #1 helper). They have also shown the boys that, in spite of the fact that they are not perfect, they can walk the talk, and help their sons walk it too.

“Our family is really close,” said Joe. “We kind of built our whole foundation on making sure that our family is really strong. They’ve always been there for us… That’s why we decided to go (on tour) with our own family bus.” Hanging out with Mom and Dad may not seem very cool to many teenagers and pop stars, but the Jonas Brothers have shown that family can give us strength to live up to our values, even when the attraction of easy, loose relationships seems so powerful.

Keeping All the Promises

The Jonas Brothers have shown us that the best way to keep a commitment to God and to their future spouses is to surround ourselves with brothers (and sisters) who share the same values and who are striving to live a life of faith in God. They acknowledge that despite all their wealth, fame, and good looks, the best gift they can give their future spouses is the complete gift of themselves.

Giving Hope

Nick, Joe, and Kevin also realize they have a responsibility, even in the midst of so much success. They can give hope to others. If they can live a life of purity and chastity amidst the glitz and glam of Hollywood and rock-stardom, they give hope to teenagers everywhere. Girls deserve to know they are worth waiting for. There’s no denying that this is a big part of the success of these brothers.

Attraction

Why are boys so attracted to girls? And why are girls so attracted to boys? Because we are made in the image of God. And God is love. God is relational. God, within his very being, lives in a relationship of love (He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.), and God lives in a relationship of love with his creatures. So, like him, God made us to love. We are made to love him, and we are made to love others.

Special Love

One of the most special ways to love like God is the love between a man and a woman. In married love, spouses dedicate their lives totally and exclusively to each other. In married love, a boy and a girl are called to be the living expression of God’s love for the other person.

Built on Friendship and Respect

But this type of love does not just happen by a physical relationship. It is built on friendship. It is sustained by respect, kindness, and patience. It only truly works when there is total commitment, after a sustained period of getting to know each other and respect each other. When we put the physical relationship before there is a solid friendship and respect, and before there is a total commitment, we find that love does not last. It simply ends in broken hearts.

Something We Can Learn

So, guys, show tenderness to the girls, but show respect. Show each girl you really can wait. You may find that it’s not just the Jonas Brothers that the girls are swooning about (although they might not admit it … until they really trust you.) And girls, continue to believe in that special someone. There are good guys out there, guys worth waiting for. Hold on, and God will bless your love.

He is the number one soccer player on the globe. He has had thousands of adoring fans since he was a teenager. Now his fans number in the millions. In this lesson we will look at soccer sensation Kaka’. We will try to understand a bit more about his life and his values.

Champion

Ricardo Izecson dos Santos, better known as Kaka’, was born in Brasilia, the capital of Brazil on April 22, 1982. He presently plays for AC Milan in Italy. Even though he is only 26 years old, he has already won every award he dreamed of as a boy.

His accomplishments include leading his junior and senior teams to win Brazil’s soccer championship, being a member of Brazil’s 2002 World Cup Champion team, leading his Italian team to both national and international championships in 2004 and 2007, and being awarded the FIFA World Player of the Year for 2007. In May his AC Milan team just clinched another Italian championship.

For the Team

Even though Kaka’ scores many brilliant goals himself, those who really know soccer are most impressed by his unselfish play. He actually prefers playing in a support role (at midfield) rather than in the lead scoring position. He drives defenses crazy with his ability to do everything well: stealing the ball, dribbling, creating plays for others (passing and assists), and hitting deadly shots on goal under pressure. His quick smile shows he considers it aprivilege to play sports for a living.

More than a flashy smile

But Kaka’ is not the typical superstar. He does not flaunt his success and good looks. In fact, he continues to surprise the world by a different set of values, values that he learned in his family and through his faith.

He comes from a close and loving family. His nickname was given to him by his younger brother when they were children. Kaka’ continues to be proud of his little brother. In fact he used his first paycheck as a professional player to help pay for his brother’s education. His dream is that one day his brother can play beside him.

Finding Faith Young

Kaka’ s family is deeply Christian. They are evangelical Christians. Kaka’ claims his faith is what really makes him happy. He was baptized when he was 12 years old (normal in his evangelical church), and says that moment in particular helped him in his relationship with Christ.

“When I was baptized in 1994, something supernatural happened to me. I cannot explain it, but after that experience I got closer to God, more in tune with Him. At that moment I was really born spiritually. I began to know God more in depth, and I’ve learned that faith works within the limits of circumstances. I began having a Father to son relationship with God.”

Catholics Can Do It Too

As Catholics, our baptism, our First Communion, our Confirmation, our personal prayer time, our participation in Sunday Mass, and the many times we receive the sacrament of the Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) all help us live this type of relationship with God and deepen it as we grow. Like Kaka’, we should all have moments when our relationship with Christ grows, just as our heart and our intelligence grow as we mature.

Discovered

Like most Brazilian boys, Ricardo had been playing soccer since he could walk. He was discovered at a very young age. He was eight years old when he was invited to be part of the boys’ teams of Sao Paulo FC, one of the country’s most prestigious soccer clubs. He turned semi-professional when he was 15, not unusual for a soccer star in Brazil, and eventually led his youth team to the national championship. He made his debut in Brazil’s top professional league when he was 18.

Tragedy Stalks

But tragedy almost seemed to end his career when he was 18. He was at a water park while visiting his grandparents and fell from a water-slide. He broke a vertebra (a disc in his back) as he hit the bottom of the pool. Doctors said the fracture should have paralyzed him permanently. They said he was lucky even to walk. Remarkably, after a year, he made a full recovery, and came back to lead his team to the championship.

Kaka’ and his family have always seen his recovery as a sign of God’s mercy. “They (the doctors) were talking about luck and my family was talking about God. Back at home we always thanked God because we knew that it was His hand that had saved and protected me.”

This is one of the reasons Ricardo always raises his hand to the sky after he scores a goal. He knows that without God’s help, he would not be where he is. He recognizes that his success is a gift from God, a gift he can acknowledge or a gift he can misuse.

The Soccer Star and Courtship

Another area where Kaka’ shows his faith is by his Christian commitment to chastity. He believes deeply in what the Bible teaches about the true meaning of marriage.

Ever since he was a boy, Ricardo had always felt the beauty and attraction of marriage, and often prayed that God would lead him to the right girl. When he was 19, and already a professional soccer player, his dad introduced him to Caroline. Caroline was the daughter of a friend of his father. She was also a committed Christian. And she was very pretty.

But deeper than her beauty, Kaka’ saw something special in Caroline, something that brought out the best in him. Caroline became his best friend. They would talk often, and they would spend a lot of time with each other’s families. But there was something else they shared: a Christian commitment to chastity.

Their courtship lasted four years, and had to endure two years of separation, because Kaka’ went to play in Italy after their first two years together.

During those last two years, 2003-2005, they set rules about how they would stay faithful to each other. Kaka’ says he and Caroline considered this time as very important: “It allowed our love to mature and be tested.”

Italian Surprise

Even though Kaka’ was already a star in Brazil, it was expected that he would only play a minor role his first year in Italy. Kaka’ was hired for a team that already had several international superstars, including fellow Brazilian, Rivaldo, who had been the top scorer in the 2002 World Cup.

But something happened when Kaka’ hit the field in Italy in 2003. His magical passes and brilliant shots could ignite the team to victory. Much to his surprise, within a few months he became the acknowledged leader on the field, and Rivaldo, unselfishly, became his proud advisor. That year AC Milan won the Italian league and the European Super Cup.

Worth the Wait

After two years of separation, Caroline and Kaka’ were married. Their wedding was on December 23, 2005. Last month Caroline gave birth to their first child. Talking about their commitment to chastity before marriage, Kaka’ comments, “The Bible teaches that true love waits until marriage. If our life today is so beautiful, I think it is because we waited.”

Others on the Radar

Another value that is important to Kaka’ is helping others. He often does promotion for charitable causes, even at great sacrifice of his time.

Among the many causes he supports, one is the fight against world hunger. In 2004, at age 22, he became the youngest Ambassador Against Hunger at the United Nations. He travels to Africa and other poor parts of the world, including the poorest regions of his own country, Brazil, in order to promoteawareness of world hunger. He appears in television and other media advertisements asking for donations to help alleviate world hunger.

Not Afraid

As a Christian, another area that is important for Kaka’ is sharing his faith. He tries to give an example of sportsmanship on the field because he knows that others will be convinced by the way he lives, more than by what he says.

Yet he is not afraid to talk openly about his faith, and has encouraged other players to do so as well. In fact, when he retires from soccer he hopes to become a lay missionary in his evangelical church.

When Love Touches the Pockets

Kaka’ is also generous with his money. He donates 10% of his salary to his church, and helps other causes as well. In the Bible, giving 10% of your earnings to God is called tithing. Being generous with our money helps us realize that we are stewards of God gifts, not absolute owners of them, and that we have a responsibility for others as well. Tithing helps us live the virtue of thankfulness to God, and makes us less selfish.

Real Champions

What is in the future for Kaka’? As he will tell you, only God knows. But there is no doubt that his example is having a positive impact on the world. He is helping people think about deeper values and especially about their relationship with God.

Kaka’ shows us that love, faith, chastity, and generosity lead to a happiness and fulfillment that last beyond the thrill of the moment. Whether we are world soccer champions or simply the person next door, we can all be champions of faith, hope, and love. In the end it is these values that are the real championship.

Bible Blurbs

Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.

(Luke 12:33)

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.

(Matthew 5:14)

Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

(Matthew 5:16)

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive recompense, according to what he did in the body, whether good or evil.

(2 Corinthians 5:10)

Pope Quotes

Any tendency to treat religion as a private matter must be resisted. Only when their faith permeates every aspect of their lives do Christians become truly open to the transforming power of the Gospel.”

(Benedict XVI, April 16, 2008)

Do not cease to cultivate your own personal encounter with Christ, to keep him ever at the center of your heart, since in this way your life will be converted into a mission; you will let Christ who lives in you shine forth.

(Benedict XVI, August 23, 2007)

It is necessary to discern between what serves to build the “civilization of love” according to the design that God revealed in Jesus Christ, and what runs counter to it.

(Benedict XVI, March 3, 2008)

Catechism Clips

1723: The beatitude (happiness) we are promised confronts us with decisive moral choices. It teaches us that true happiness is not found in riches or well-being, in human fame or power, or in any human achievement - however beneficial it may be, but in God alone, the source of every good and of all love.

1656: In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith.

2013: All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

2347: The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows us.

Saints and Heroes

United in Love for God and Others

Blessed Frederic Ozanam and Amelie Soulacroix Ozanam

Frederic Ozanam and Amelie Soulacroix were born in France during the 1800’s, at the time of the Industrial Revolution. Both Frederic and Amelie grew up in families with a strong, Catholic  faith. Both had a great desire to show love to others.

When he was 20, Frederic, along with his friends, founded of the now-famous St. Vincent de Paul Society, as an attempt to do something for the many poor they found all over the streets of France. He said to his friends, “I am weary of words – let us act.”

Frederic was a very intelligent, restless man, full of enthusiasm and love for God and the poor. Amelie was the woman he was looking for: the perfect soul mate.

He met her when he was 26, as he was finishing his doctoral studies in the city of Lyons, France. He was invited (by a priest who was convinced Frederic’s vocation was to marriage) to have dinner with the president of the university. There he met Amelie, as the priest was hoping. She was the president’s daughter. Even though she was very pretty, what most impressed Frederic was that she was totally focused on attending to her handicapped brother. The kindness and delicacy with which she loved her brother deeply touched Frederic’s heart. He came back to get to know her better, and fell in love.

Before their wedding he wrote her a letter. He said he could not offer her riches and an easy life:

“Nevertheless, I hope that my gift, as modest as it may be, will be kindly accepted …: I give you the will of a man, an upright and honest will, the will to be good so as to make you happy.”

They were married on June 23, 1941. In remembrance of this day, Frederic made it a custom to give his wife a bouquet of flowers on the twenty third of every month.

They moved to Paris after they were married.  They lived their marriage deeply in love. They also brought Amelie’s handicapped brother to live with them.

In Paris Frederic became famous at the university for his ability to stir up a great passion for God and a great love for the poor in his students. Besides his work as a professor, Frederic continued founding chapters of the Saint Vincent De Paul Society all over France and other parts of Europe. He also wrote many books that combined scholarship with faith and received much acclaim. God did not spare him sufferings, though, and both his work and his writings also received many strong criticisms.

Amelie was there to support him and encourage him every step of the way. He found strength in her companionship and love.

Back then, medicine was not as good as it is now, and Frederic became sick because of all his work. After twelve years of happy marriage, it became clear that Frederic was dying.

Amelie, who had always worked to protect his health, cared for him with tremendous affection. She was with him when he died, on September 8, 1853, at age forty. She raised their only child, Marie, and continued supporting the work of the St. Vincent de Paul Society.

Today the St. Vincent de Paul Society is one of the biggest charitable organizations in the Catholic Church, with over 700,000 members.

Frederic was beatified by Pope John Paul II on August 22, 1997. Many hope his wife will also be beatified, and she has been included in many studies on saintly married couples.

Discussion questions

1. Have you ever seen Kaka’ play soccer? What most impresses you about his style of play? Would you agree with the description of his play in this lesson?
2. Is living love in our families always easy? In what ways does it help us?
3. What are some ways we can deepen our personal relationship with Christ, like Kaka’ did? 
4. Why is it important to have “strong moments” of closeness to God as we grow?
5. What do you think of Pope Benedict’s statement that faith should not be hidden? Besides sports, what other areas of society need courageous witness to faith today?
6. What do you think of Kaka’ and Caroline’s decision to stay chaste until marriage? Do you think it was easy for them? What sort of difficulties did they probably face frequently? How do you think they handled them?
7. What do you think of the phrase, “True love waits”? Do you think it fits with the teachings of Christ? Do you think it is possible in today’s world?
8. What are some ways guys can help girls wait until marriage? What are some ways girls can help guys wait? How can the way we dress, the way we act in front of others, even the way we have fun send the right or wrong message about our decision? 
9. Do you think that Kaka’ and Caroline will always remain best friends? Do you think they have a better chance of remaining faithful as spouses since they waited? Why is it so important to put a solid friendship and respect at the base of a lasting marriage? 
10. Do you think Jesus loves human love? If so, why does he set rules about it?
11. Do you think we should wait until we have a lot of money in order to donate to church or good causes? In what ways can generosity help us find true happiness? What does a generous person show the world about God?

Activities

• Have a debate about showing faith in public, such as during sporting events. Does it help others think about God? Is it a good testimony? Is it an important testimony? When is it good and when could it become counter-productive?
• Write a letter to your future spouse. (You can also write a letter to God as your greatest friend.) Tell your future spouse or tell God what type of person you would like to become in order to make him or her happy. Tell your future spouse some things you will do in order to prepare for that day when you will be together.

Virtue Verification

Acknowledge - to express thanks for; to state that one has received (a gift, favor, letter, etc.)

Alleviate – 1) to make less hard to bear; lighten or relieve (pain, suffering, etc.) 2) to reduce or decrease

Chastity – the virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason.

• “Chastity means the integration of sexuality within the person. It includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery.” (Catechism of the the Catholic Church 2395)
• “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2350)

Commitment – 1) dedication to a cause or long-term course of action 2) pledge or promise to do something;

Courtship – a time of relating with another, getting to know the person – and his or her friends and family – through friendship before moving into a dating relationship. Courtship (versus dating) teaches you to first be friends with a particular person for a good period of time before jumping into a romantic relationship. This low-risk, balanced approach to pursuing a relationship creates a firm foundation on which love can be built. (Definition courtesy Theology of the Body for Teens, Ascension Press)

Faith – trust in God; a personal relationship with God; trust in God’s promises and in Christ’s teachings.

Faithful- maintaining allegiance; constant; loyal

Generosity – quality of giving or sharing liberally and willingly; Generosity is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Generosity is sharing God’s goodness with others and responding to God’s love with the gift of self.

Hope – trust in God; trust that God wants the best for us, even in difficult circumstances; trust in God’s mercy and forgiveness; trust in God’s gift of heaven.

Lay person – In the Catholic Church a lay person is anyone who is not ordained as a priest or deacon. Most Catholics are lay people. Most Christians are lay people.  Technically, even Catholic monks who are not priests are lay people, but they are consecrated lay people, like nuns, etc.

Love – 1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; kindness, respect, and generosity towards others. 2) God’s tender regard and concern for all human beings. 3) devotion to and desire for God as our supreme good.

Responsibility – condition or quality of being answerable or accountable for someone or something.

Sacrifice – forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

Sportsmanship – ability to exercise the virtues of justice, truthfulness, kindness, respect and fairness while playing a sport.

Steward – a person entrusted with administering the goods, property, household, estate, or finances of another

Resources

Articles on Kaka’

• LifeSiteNews report on Kaka’ interview about chastity and faith
• Kaka’ Interview in Athletes for Christ
• “The golden boy of a golden team”: article on Kaka’ in The Independent 
• “Kaka’ able to see beyond the dollar signs”: Article on Kaka’ becoming youngest “United Nations Ambassador Against Hunger”
• “Milan put their faith in Kaka,” article in The Telegraph 

Catholic Athletes for Christ Web site

Article on faith during World Cup 2006: “Faith and Football”

Teen chastity support resources:

• Pure Love Club (seminars, research, chastity clubs) 
• Generation Life 
• Real Love Productions, Inc. (Mary Beth Bonacci) 
• Theology of the Body for Teens Web site
• Theology of the Body for Young People:  God’s Plan for You: life, Love, Marriage & Sex  
• Theology of the Body for Teens Podcasts

Some new girls on the block are leading a revolution. It is a revolution of beauty, a beauty that starts on the inside, but shows on the outside as well. And they are getting attention. This week we look at a new trend in fashion, begun by girls whose beauty is more than a façade. They are turning heads, making headlines, and changing hearts.

THIs Is YOUR RUNWAy

“When you walk, keep your back straight, and lead with your hips,” says Leah Darrow, as she demonstrates walking across a room. “And remember—it’s a fashion show, not a track meet. Make this natural, make it your own. This is your runway.”

Leah Darrow, a model and former contestant on the TV show America’s Next Top Model is one of the mentors to these new girls on the block. The girls are preparing for the Pure Fashion Show in St. Louis. They will model trendy clothes, yes, but they will model something else. They will model the work of a great designer; the best designer, God. Their goal is to highlight the joy and confidence that come from knowing they are images of God’s beauty.

SURPRIsING SCENE

Leah knows how attractive these girls can be. They changed her life. She was in the midst of a high-powered modeling career in New York when she happened to see part of a Pure Fashion Show on television. Her career and her life choices were taking her down a dark alley. As she watched the clips on Pure Fashion, she felt the contrast between what was going on in her own life and what she saw on the faces of the girls in the show. She loved the fashions, but there was something else.…

“I wondered why those cute girls and adorable outfits were being showcased on the Catholic Channel.”

Leah was touched, and she was curious. She decided to find out more. She looked up Pure Fashion on the Web and decided to write an email to the director, Brenda Sharman (a professional model herself), thanking her for putting together the program. 

“Little did I know what one small email can do—Brenda called me personally, and we talked for what seemed to be only twenty minutes, when in actuality hours had passed.”

BEAUTy AND THE MIRROR

Her conversation with Brenda made her think. Beauty has power. And yet, beauty is a gift. It is a gift that can be used for good or for bad. Leah saw something in the beauty of these girls that made her reassess the power of her own beauty.

Yes, she was beautiful, and yes, she was getting attention, but was she beautiful on the inside? Did the mirror show a girl who was full of goodness, or did it show a girl who was willing to throw away her principles for vanity and pride?

GOOD GIRL GONE…

Leah had grown up on a farm in Oklahoma. As a young girl, she saw how her family turned to God in the midst of a terrible tragedy: the murder of her grandfather. It was then, at age twelve, that she became aware that it was God alone who could mend any problem. Yet something happened after college. She had always felt attracted to fashion and had modeled extensively, but that year she was chosen to compete on Season 3 of the reality TV show, America’s Next Top Model. Soon she was living in New York City, and she began to experience the pull of the darkness that much of the fashion culture was leading her into.

BEAUTy AND THE BEAsT

Helen Alvare, a leading women’s expert, spoke recently about the “dark side” of our media-driven culture: “We have the ability to broadcast to each other and to the world constant, loud, and dramatic images, including sexually charged images of women. Women are ‘objectified’ by being identified solely with their bodies.” As Pope Benedict XVI says, “This is hardly man’s great ‘yes’ to the body.” Our souls are either ignored or considered irrelevant in this type of culture.

BEAUTy AND THE BAbE…Of GOD

Talking with Brenda, Leah began to remember a beauty she had often felt inside her soul: the beauty of being loved by God. She looked at the choices she was making and realized she needed to come back to the Father’s house. She needed to be authentic about who she was as a child of God. She wrote in her diary, “Satan has had his fun with me for too long. I have been blinded by ignorance and corrupted by vanity and pride. I take back from Satan what is Yours and I give my entire self to You…. Dear Lord, make me new again in You.”

GIVING BACK

Talking with Brenda and praying, Leah felt the call to change her life and to give back some of the love she had received from God. She moved back to St. Louis, where she helped put together the first St. Louis Pure Fashion team. She still models, but has used her college studies to develop her healthcare career in neuropsychology assessment. She is also the youth minister at Sacred Heart Parish in Eureka, Missouri.

THE POWER Of MODELING

So, what was it that Leah saw in the Pure Fashion girls? “We’re not modeling a certain designer,” says fifteen-year-old Erin Moore, a Pure Fashion model from Josephville, Missouri. “We’re modeling the Great Designer.” “We are all made in his image,” says seventeen-year-old Jessica Loos. “ And Pure Fashion is more about finding the way he wants us to be and acting on it.”

The girls take part in a yearlong program that not only mentors them on being beautiful on the outside, but also shows them interior beauty, the beauty that springs from the heart. They learn that spiritual values, such as deep kindness, a strong relationship with God, and moral courage bring a deep happiness of heart that shows on the outside—a happiness that changes other peoples’ hearts as well.

The yearlong program includes not only sessions on runway style, professional makeup, and public presentation, but also includes a spiritual retreat, community service, and discussions on the sort of values that make a girl a better image of God’s love and affirm her innate dignity.

POsTER GIRLs PUsHING A REVOLUTION

In putting on their shows, these girls also have become the undisputed poster girls for the modesty movement. They believe they can be pretty without being provocative. The shows highlight their beauty by featuring clothes that focus on the grace, elegance, and joy of being feminine without being a consumer object.

And the boys notice. As one teenage boy said after an Atlanta Pure Fashion Show, “These girls are much prettier than the ones who dress provocatively. They’re the sort of girls you want to be around, the ones you feel special being around.”

Not only do the boys notice, but the fashion industry is taking notice too. Stores are studying these girls to see what they consider hip-yet-modest. Pure Fashion Shows receive strong patronage from stores such as Macy’s, Nordstrom, Gap, Limited Too, and other fashion chains. Professional clothing designers are offering their services to the girls as well.

FUN AND FAbULOUs

Pure Fashion is no small-time organization. Thirty different cities across North America are holding Pure Fashion Shows this spring, and there are Pure Fashion Shows in Paris, as well as in other European cities. Many of the shows give teens an experience that rivals famous fashion shows in New York. Grammy award-winning singers such as Rebecca St. James often perform at the shows. Emmy award-winning production companies such as Executive Vision in Atlanta have found that the shows offer them a special opportunity to showcase their services as well as promote a better culture.

Brenda Sharman, a former Miss Georgia and still a professional model, said, “When some of my other professional model friends came in and saw Pure Fashion they were just amazed. The Pure Fashion Show truly blows away all other fashion shows in the South in terms of production quality and attendance.”

BEAUTy AND ATTRACTION

What is it about beauty that attracts? And why is real beauty more than just physical? Beauty is an expression of God. And human beauty is an expression of the personal nature of God. It is an expression of our call to friendship, to see another person as a remarkable gift. In our human nature, the attraction we feel towards beauty can bring us into communion. It can bring us into communion with God and with others.

GIfT IN GIVING

Real love, as Pope Benedict reminds us, is ecstasy. It is a becoming caught up in the beauty of another person, the spiritual beauty of the person, and giving ourselves to another person because we discover his or her true beauty. This is a reflection of our desire to love God. When we finally see God, we will be caught up in his beauty, and we will want to be with him in a way that makes all our present desires seem small by comparison. These girls, in a powerful and countercultural way, are teaching us about God. And they are teaching us about the true beauty of being a woman. We have much to learn from them.

Bible Blurbs:

“Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”
(1 Tim 4:12)

“…so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word…when they observe your chaste and reverent behavior.”
(1 Pt 3:1-2)

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
(Mt 5:16)

“For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”
(1 Cor 6:20)

Pope Quotes:

“Down the ages Christianity has been communicated and disseminated thanks to the newness of life of persons and communities capable of bearing an incisive witness of love, unity and joy.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

“…witness to the beauty of being Christian in an age when the opinion was spreading that Christianity is a difficult and oppressive way to live.” ( His Holiness Benedict XVI, March 24, 2007)

“Christ, who is ‘the beauty of every beauty’… is made present in the hearts of men and women and attracts them to their vocation which is love.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

Saints and Heros:

BEAUTy fOR THE KING

 St. Agnes of Bohemia, Nun of the Order of St Clare (entered heaven around 1282)

Agnes was a much sought after bride. Being the daughter of the king and queen of Bohemia (today’s Czech Republic), and Bohemia being a political jewel, she was bartered around in various arranged marriage proposals. As she grew, however, she began to feel directly attracted to Christ. By the time she was twenty-eight, she had been promised in marriage more than four times. At this point, she was already a young lady, beautiful, gentle, wise, and elegant, adding her own charms to her political sweetness. So attractive was she, in fact, that the emperor of Europe, Frederick, asked for her hand in marriage. Agnes, however, had by then decided to live only for Christ and had even asked the Pope to stand as protector of her private vow of virginity. Most girls don’t say “no” to emperors, so everyone (the Pope included) was a bit apprehensive about breaking the news to Frederick. To his credit, however, the emperor responded gallantly, actually a bit flattered to have been turned down by someone who had already been chosen by the King of heaven.

Free from worldly concerns, she was able to devote herself completely to prayer and serving souls in need. She built hospitals and started a religious order to care for them; she built hospices and poorhouses; she even built a Poor Clare convent, which she then entered as a humble religious. Soon she was made superior of the community, however, and served there the remaining fifty years of her life. She was beloved by all and because of her social position, she was able to spread the healing light of Christ throughout Europe merely by her example.

HELPING OTHERs CATCH GOD’s FIRE

St. Bernard, Abbot of Clairvaux, Doctor of the Church (entered heaven on August 20, 1153)

Bernard was of noble birth, and he showed extraordinary social and intellectual talent and skill from a very young age. By the time he finished his education (he was twenty-two), all that the luxurious world of the Middle Ages (for nobles, anyway) had to offer was within his grasp. But he felt God calling him to forsake it all for a higher Kingdom. He struggled at first, but he asked the Lord for strength and clarity, and he received both.

And then came the amazing thing. Instead of just marching off on his own to join the newly reformed monastic community at Citeaux, he started talking to friends and family members about his decision. He spoke so powerfully about the merits of putting one’s life wholly at God’s service that he convinced one after another of them to accompany him. By the time he set out, he had gathered about him thirty-one young noblemen. They all showed up together on Citaeux’s doorstep to offer themselves for the Lord’s service, much to the surprised delight of the abbot, St. Stephen Harding, who had not received a new novice for several years. Nothing like it has ever occurred in the history of the Church.

St. Bernard was always gushing forth beautiful speeches and sermons about the love of God. It was a love he had come to know, and that was the real source of his prodigious career—and it really was prodigious. He founded the famous monastery at Clairvaux, which in turn fathered sixty-eight other Cistercian monasteries. He gave spiritual (and political) guidance to popes and emperors, kings and barons, abbots and saints.

He resolved wars and schisms by the force of his wisdom and tact. He defended Catholic scholarship against secularism (the infamous rationalist Peter Abelard was his contemporary), rallied all of Europe in an effort to defend fellow Christians in the Holy Land (under the banner of the doomed “Second Crusade”), and left a wake of miracles in his path as he trekked back and forth across the continent in defense of God’s honor. True, all he really wanted was to retire from the world and devote himself to prayer and solitude, but he willingly embraced the cross God fashioned for him—much to the world’s benefit.

Christ’s love had set St Bernard’s heart on fire with love, which in turn inflamed others’ hearts. So if you really want to change the world, let yourself be totally caught by the transforming love of Christ.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1. What do you think of Pure Fashion? Do you think it is a good idea? Do you think it is effective? Can you think of some stereotypes these girls might be overcoming by their shows?
2.  What do you think of Leah Darrow’s story? Do you think she did the right thing by leaving a promising career as a supermodel and dedicating herself to Pure Fashion? What reasons made her leave the supermodel atmosphere? Do you think she feels more fulfilled now? Why? 
3. What do you think of modeling shows like America’s Next Top Model? Do you think they help women be more admired and valued? Do you think they make women feel good about themselves? How would you improve these types of shows? 
4. What are the spiritual values that make a person more attractive? How do people who live these values help others to know and love God better? 
5. Why do you think the media and fashion industries are interested in Pure Fashion?
6. What do you think of the modesty movement? Do you think it helps girls? Do you think it helps boys? In what ways might it help? 
7. What about boys’ fashions? Are there some ways guys are encouraged to dress today that sends the wrong message? 
8. What are some ways in which guys and girls can help one another “perceive the person” and not just the body in the way they act and the way they dress? 
9. Do you think that practicing the virtue of modesty can make a person happier? In what way? 
10. In what way does human beauty express who God is? In what way does beauty remind us that we are made for God? 

ACTIVITIES 

• For girls: Read the fashion guidelines on the Pure Fashion Web site and go on a shopping trip to the mall with some friends. You don’t have to buy anything, but each girl should put together an outfit that pleases her and also meets the guidelines on the site. Afterwards, have a discussion about what you chose and what your fashion choices express about you and your goals or values in life. (The guys can do something similar, using their common sense and an adult mentor as a guide.)
• For both guys and girls: Write a letter to a clothing chain or magazine that promotes an immodest vision of guys or girls. Explain your thoughts or concerns. Make a promise to shop at their store if they make some changes. See if you get a response. 
• Investigate whether there are any stores that feature clothes that promote a positive view of guys or girls (i.e., stores that respect modesty). See if any of their clothes look interesting or fashionable to you. Write them a note thanking them for their efforts. Buy something from them the next time you need to buy some clothing. 

JOURNAL WRITING 

1. Write an essay about the type of person you might like to marry. If you are a guy, try to define the type of girl you would like to marry. What special qualities make a girl attractive to you? If you are a girl, try to explain the type of boy you would like to marry. What types of qualities make a boy attractive to a girl? 
2. Write a letter to that imaginary person. Tell him or her some things you would like to improve about yourself in order to prepare for the day when you marry. Explain to him or her some of the values you would most like to share in your marriage. Talk about the type of values and experiences you would like to share with your children. 

RESOURCES 

Sites

• Pure Fashion Web site 
• Some media reports about Pure Fashion
• Short summary of Leah Darrow’s faith and beliefs 
• Talk by Helen Alvare: “Female Objectification Not All Fault of Men” 
• Letter on the Dignity of Women by Pope John Paul II
• Models for Christ Web site 
• Letter to Women by Pope John Paul II 

BOOKS 

• Theology of the Body for Teens, Discovering God’s Plan for Love and Life, Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler, 2006, Ascension Press 
• God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex, David Hajduk, 2006, Pauline Books and Media