Lord, make us grow in respect for your most amazing gift, the gift of life. Remind us that wherever we are at, you cherish our lives and are reaching out to us. Amen.

Tabloid socialite and TV personality Kourtney Kardashian recently made a decision that shocked Hollywood and rocked the reality TV world.  The pop media is still in a frenzy over the news.

Kourtney, who is 30, is the oldest sister on the E! network’s Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s, and recently finished a season of her own show: Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami with her sister.

Los Angeles native Kourtney Mary Kardashian is the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, who was OJ Simpson’s famous trial lawyer. Her mom, Kris, is married to Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Decathlon Gold Medalist. Kourtney is a graduate of Marymount High School, an all-girls Catholic school in LA. She earned a degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Arizona in Tucson, in May, 2002. After that, Kourtney assisted her mom in opening several children’s clothing boutiques in New York and LA called “Smooch”.

Reality Shows

Her first stint with reality TV began in 2005 with Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, a show that followed celebrity kids working on a Colorado cattle ranch. The premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s in 2007 featured models Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe, who were joined by the rest of their family. This includes brother Robert, Jr. also a model, and step-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner and their parents Kris and Bruce Jenner.

Moving to Miami, Florida, Kourtney and Khloe began shooting their own reality show Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which aired on August 16, 2009. But that’s not all that aired that week. Kourtney also broke the news that she was pregnant.

Reality Bites

In an exclusive interview with People Magazine, (August 12, 2009) Kourtney revealed her thoughts as she struggled with what to do next.

“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not.”

Kardashian reflected that the “choice” of abortion is often made without a lot of thought and information:

“… I don’t think it’s talked through enough. I can’t even tell you how many people just say, ‘Oh, get an abortion.’ Like it’s not a big deal.”

She felt a lot of confusion and turmoil at this point.

“I called my best friend crying, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She said, ‘Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.’”

Alternate Reality

Kourtney’s doctor suggested that she do research in order to make an informed decision.

“I looked online, and I was sitting on my bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion,” she recalls.

“I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards.”

It began to dawn on Kourtney that abortion was not a choice for her after all.

“I was just sitting there crying, thinking, ‘I can’t do that,’” she said. And I felt in my body, this is meant to be. God does things for a reason, and I just felt like it was the right thing that was happening in my life.”

“For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish…”

Reality, Man…

Her boyfriend, Scott Disick, 26, came to her side to offer his support even though she had broken up with him already.

“He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself.”

He said, ‘I really want you to keep it [the baby], but I will support you whatever you decide to do.’”

“I really wanted to think it through for myself, and not hear what my sisters were saying, or what Scott was saying,” Kourtney explained.

“Even though I took it all in, I wanted it to be my decision.”

But the advice her doctor had given Kourtney at that first visit stayed with her.

“My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, ‘You may regret not having the baby.’”

“And I was like: ‘That is SO true.’”

“And it just hit me. I got so excited, and when I told Scott, he was so excited.”

When asked about future plans for marriage to Disick, Kardashian said,

“We talk about marriage all the time.”

Then she adds:

“I just feel like there is so much to do… We should do everything for the baby right now and I’ll worry about myself later.”

Harsh Reality

Perhaps the most convincing information about the effects of abortion comes from those who know first hand what an abortion can do to both a mother and her baby. Some women who have had an abortion write their testimonies, the stories of their sufferings, and post them on web sites such as silentnomore.org , afterabortion.org , or abortionfacts.com . These post-abortive women hope others read the testimonies and learn from them, and might be spared the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering they experienced after their abortion.

Dr. Alveda King, Director of the African American Outreach at Priests for Life and niece of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., applauded Kardashian’s decision. In a LifeNews.com interview Dr. King said,

“I am a member of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, which posts the largest collection of such testimonies on the internet precisely for the purpose of exposing the truth about abortion.”

In another interview Dr. King said:

“Kourtney’s testimony is so encouraging. She found messages from post-abortive women like myself on the Internet.”

It takes a courageous woman to give a testimony of the painful results of choosing abortion, as Dr. Alveda King knows. But saving a child’s life makes it worth the pain.

Reality Check

The flashy, anything-goes lifestyle of reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian and the decision she made proves a very important point. Anyone, no matter who they are, no matter how they live, no matter what they do, can find the truth by seeking it with an open heart.

Kourtney didn’t want opinions. She began to ask real questions about abortion. What will it do to me? What will it do to my child? Before she made up her mind, she gave herself the chance to really check things out. Asking was the most important thing in the life of her unborn child. It saved his/her life.

Kourtney Kadashian’s current lifestyle may not change much right away. She is still the glitzy socialite chic with a TV camera covering her every move.

But who knows what questions she may ask in the future? One thing is for sure. If she asks God for His help, she is sure to get it.

Reality Babe–y

Kourtney Kardashian soul-searched until she found the courage and determination to accept new life.

“This baby was unexpected, but it’s 100 percent still a blessing,” says Kardashian. (8/26/09 from TransWorldNews)

Her choice of love over selfishness was a life and death decision. True love makes sacrifices.

Regardless of her career, or what others would think about her decision, regardless of what might happen to her in the future, Kourtney chose the life of her baby over her own needs.

For her, it was selfishness to do anything less.

Kourtney’s baby is due around Christmas. We pray she will continue to hear the voice of God.

Bible Blurbs

“Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.”

Isaiah 49:15

“Children, too, are a gift from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one’s youth.”

Psalm 127: 3-5

“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb… My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth… my days were shaped, before one came to be.”

Psalm 139:13-16

For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy.

Luke 1:44

CLICK HERE to read and search the entire bible, ONLINE!

Catechism Clips

1738: “….Every human person, created in the image of God, has the natural right to be recognized as a free and responsible being. All owe to each other this duty of respect…”

1931: “Respect for the human person proceeds by way of respect for the principle that “everyone should look upon his neighbor (without any exception) as ‘another self,’…”

2227: “Children in turn contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.”

2271: Since the first century the Church has affirmed the moral evil of every procured abortion. This teaching has not changed and remains unchangeable…

2323: Because it should be treated as a person from conception, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, cared for, and healed like every other human being.

Ever wonder what the church REALLY says about something? Ever hear people talking about what Cathoics believe and think, “That doesn’t sound right?” CLICK HERE and check it out for yourself!

Pope Quotes

“How bitter the irony of those who promote abortion as a form of ‘maternal’ healthcare! How disconcerting the claim that the termination of life is a matter of reproductive health!”

Pope Benedict XVI, Angola, March 23, 2009

“… we ask Mary, Mother of the incarnate Word and our Mother, to protect every earthly mother: those …together with their husbands, …and those that, for so many reasons, find themselves alone in facing such an arduous task.”

Pope Benedict XVI, Sept 7, 2008

“Selfishness and fear are at the root of (pro-abortion) legislation. We in the Church have a great struggle to defend life… The Church says life is beautiful, it is not something to doubt, but it is a gift even when it is lived in difficult circumstances. It is always a gift.”

May 9, 2007

“Children are the major richness and the most precious good of a family.”

Pope Benedict XVI, Dec. 3. 2005

“…This unique contact (of a mother) with the new human being developing within her gives rise to an attitude toward human beings – not only toward her own child, but every human being – which profoundly marks the woman’s personality.”

The Gospel of Life, Pope John Paul II

CLICK HERE to see all the Pope’s writings! You might be surprised at what they have to say!

Saints & Heroes

Found his faith, lost his head

Blessed Franz Jägerstätter

Lived in Austria
May 1907 – August 1943

Franz was born shortly before World War I. His parents were not married, and his early years were spent living with his grandmother. When he was 9, his father was killed in the war. His mother then married his step father, who adopted him and gave him his last name.
As Franz got older, he became a bit wild and liked to party. He got a girl pregnant and had a daughter. A few years later, he met Franziska Schwaninger, who was from a nearby village. He fell in love with her and the two were married. They decided to go to Rome for there honeymoon. Something happened to Franz during this time. His heart began to feel drawn to God and his Catholic faith.
Franz and Franziska had three daughters. He became very involved at his church, eventually being made responsible for taking care of the church property and things, and setting up for Masses and ceremonies. Franz became a Third Order Franciscan, meaning he was a lay married man who had a normal job and family, but did his best to live a life like St Francis and his Friars.
During this time Hitler and the Nazi Party was in full power. The Anschluss began, as Germany started taking over their neighboring countries. In Austria, people voted to make Austria part of the Third Reich without a fight rather than be taken by force. Most Austrians knew if they voted no, they might be arrested, beaten or even killed. In his village, Franz was the only one to vote “no”.

Once Austria joined the Third Reich, the Nazis began forcing Austrian men to serve in the German Army. Franz knew that the Nazi ideals were in direct opposition to his faith. He knew it was wrong to take a persons freedom and dignity away. He also knew of the violence with which the Nazis treated those who disagreed with them, and how they treated Jews. He decided that as a Catholic, he could not fight for such a government.
His priest, bishop, and friends all encouraged Franz to go along with the Nazis, because they were concerned about his wife and children being left fatherless. But Franz had already lived part of his life ignoring his conscience, and decided he could not do that any longer. Even if he was going to be the only one, he would not compromise his morals or beliefs.
He refused to report for duty and was arrested and given a military trial. After he was convicted Franz was beheaded on a guillotine on August 9, 1943.
No one, except maybe his wife, knows exactly what caused Franz to abandon his former rowdy lifestyle and embrace his faith. In a time in his life when he was far from God, he heard and turned his life around. And as the darkness of fascism swept up everyone around him, he managed to hold on to the light of Faith. Franz made the supreme sacrifice of love for life and freedom. He was named Blessed by Pope Benedict XVI on October 26, 2007, and is on his way to being canonized as a saint.

True pioneer of women’s rights

Dorothy Day

Lived in New York
Nov. 1897 – Nov. 1980

Dorothy was born on November 8 in Brooklyn, NY. She ended up living in Greenwich Village in the heart of the roaring 1920’s. This period of time saw many advances in technology, economic boom, the rise of communism, and a subculture of speak-easy bars opposing Prohibition. For many people, this all led to a sense of contempt for authority and traditional morals. It was against this back drop that Dorothy began pursuing her passionate career as a journalist.
As the 20’s came to a crashing end in the Great Depression, she wrote about controversial topics, such as women’s rights, birth control, and socialism. But while her political views seemed razor sharp, her personal life was a bit hazy.
Dorothy lived a loose lifestyle, having two “common law marriages”. Tragically, she ended her first pregnancy with an illegal abortion because she didn’t want to give up her career or lifestyle. When she found out she was pregnant a second time, she retreated to a beach house in a secluded vacation spot in Staten Island, NY. Here she gave birth to her only child: a daughter named Tamar. The experience of being a mother, especially after suffering the effects of abortion and years of promoting birth control, caused her to call in to question her previous thoughts about God, herself, and society. Dorothy returned to New York City a different person.
She became piously devoted to the Catholic faith, in which she found the answers to many of the social problems that concerned her. She renounced her previous lifestyle and the selfishness that went with it. She decided to live “voluntary poverty,” serving the poor, living with the poor, and being poor herself.
She started a newspaper where she wrote openly about the plight of the poor and criticized those who took advantage of them. She opened houses for homeless, and even took in the mentally ill. She helped workers protest for fair treatment. In a time when it was nearly impossible for the less fortunate to find help, but Dorothy was there with what little she had.
Dorothy also denounced the sexual revolution of the 1960’s. She said she had seen the damage that “free love” behavior could do first hand. Many people like Dorothy decided to make working for social justice more important than authentic faith. But Dorothy always held fast to Catholic teaching. The reason she did what she did was the person of Jesus Christ, and she followed and served him faithfully right where she found him present, the Catholic Church.­
The Servant of God Dorothy Day died on November 29, 1980.
While her life does not follow the path one commonly associates with sainthood, Dorothy heard the voice of God in the midst of darkness and responded with abandon. Pope John Paul II opened investigation for her cause to be canonized a saint.

Virtuous Verbiage Verification

abortion – ending the life of a human being in the womb at any stage of development.
(The medical term Spontaneous Abortion refers to a miscarriage, which can sadly occur naturally and is not the result of a human action. A Procured Abortion is when the baby’s life is ended whether directly, or as a result of some other medical procedure and is immoral.)
choice – the act of selecting one of two or more options.
(In the context of Life issues, the word choice is often used incorrectly. First, an alarming number of women who have abortions state that they feel they have no other “choice”. Second, in moral situations, if someone knows something is wrong, it isn’t really a choice. But pro-abortion activists know that by labeling it a choice, they make it politically incorrect to tell a woman that abortion is not a moral option.)
compromise – when 2 sides of an argument come to an agreement by giving up something.
(Compromise can be good, unless the thing one gives up is their morals, beliefs or conscience.)
decision – something someone has made up their mind about and is committed and resolved about.
guilt(guilty) – 1) the acknowledgement that one has done something wrong. 2) feelings of remorse or sorrow for something one has done
(Guilt can be good if it leads us to repent and change. But guilt is a serious problem if we punish ourselves with these feelings to the point of despair and neglect of God’s mercy.)
post-abortive – a term used to describe the psychological, emotional and spiritual state of a woman who has experienced the tragedy of abortion.
(PAS (Post Abortive Syndrome), or PASS (Post Abortive Stress Syndrome) is a term used to describe the symptoms of this condition, which is very similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, the American Psychological Association refuses to accept it regardless of the number of women reported to be suffering from it.)
regret- sadness or disappointment, usually related to some past thing done or left undone
sacrifice – accepting suffering or discomfort for the sake of some good thing, for self or especially others
selfish(ness) – a sin of pride, which consists of holding one’s own wants and needs as being most important, above any other
testimony(ies) – when a witness tells their story about what they saw or experienced
Third Order – someone, usually a married person, who does not actually join a religious order, but lives their life following the teachings and rules of that religious community as best they can in their current state of life.
turmoil – intense stress or suffering, usually leading to chaos or disorder

Discussion Questions

The APA, which governs the practice of psychology in the USA, refuses to accept Post Abortive Stress Syndrome (PASS or PAS for short) as a form of post traumatic stress disorder. Even though tens of thousands of women report suffering the symptoms after having an abortion, the APA insists that abortion doesn’t have a side effect on women.

• Why do you think this is?
• What reasons might they have for not wanting to acknowledge this syndrome?
• Should post abortive women be able to pay for treatment with health insurance?

1. Kourtney mentions that she can keep her baby because she is well off and can afford it.

   • Do you think the poor or less fortunate are limited in their actual “choice” because they can’t financially support their babies?
   • Is that fair or just?
   • What can or should be done about it?

2. Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood International, said, “We don’t want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population.” Dr. Alveda King reaches out to African-American women because she doesn’t believe they are presented alternatives to abortion equal to other social groups.

   • Is it possible that race is a factor in how and where abortion is marketed and made available?
   • Obviously, not every abortion supporter thinks like Sanger, but could Planned Parenthood’s agenda be tainted by her ideas?
   • Should society work to make sure all women and babies are cared for and provided for equally?

3. The Kardashian sisters have not behaved like very good role models. Their provocative style of dress, sexually loose lifestyle, and often selfish and destructive behavior, seem to make them an example of what NOT to do.

   • Can people who are far from God’s plan do really good things? How?
   • Do you think Kourtney is responsible for this change herself, or is it a grace from God?
   • Ca­­n God reach us, and can we hear Him, even if we aren’t listening?

Journal Writing

Write about the time when it was hardest for you to do the right thing. Try and remember what you were feeling and what influenced your decision. Write about the people who either helped or hindered you from doing the right thing. Then, include a paragraph or two about wha­­t you might do differently or what you might do exactly the same if you were in that situation again.

Activities

1. One reason Kourtney’s decision is so shocking is the sacrifice she is willing to make for her baby. People who live surrounded by glamour and comfort often find it hard to sacrifice for others. Make a list of the people who have made sacrifices for you. Pick a way to thank them: with a card, a call, a text, or in person.
2. With your teacher or parents permission, visit some of the websites mentioned in this article. Read some of the stories presented by women like Dr. Alveda King; the stories that so deeply moved Kourtney. Make sure to pray for those women, and all women faced with the “choice” of abortion.

Debate

Split in two teams. The topic for the debate is:
“Can a baby ever be an accident or a mistake?”
Be sure to use information from the lesson, the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, your Parish priest, and other reliable resources to back up your arguments.
Remember, the point is to find the truth, not just to win!

It was an exciting moment. Carrie Prejean’s turn had arrived to answer a question from a judge during the final round of the Miss USA pageant. When the question came, Carrie’s stomach turned. The judge wanted to know what she, as the reigning Miss California and the potential Miss USA, thought about “gay marriage.” She knew what the man wanted to hear. But she also knew what she truly believed.

Carrie wondered: should she give the popular answer or speak her conscience? She quickly prayed for guidance.

We’ll get to her answer — and its aftermath — in a minute. But first, let’s take a quick look at Carrie’s life leading up to the Miss USA pageant. That will help us zero in on the point of this lesson: True marriage is worth defending … even when it costs you dearly.

Young love

Carrie Prejean was a shy child but, in high school, she became a four-sport athlete. Her softball team won a national championship. Then, encouraged by her parents, she joined a youth group at her evangelical Protestant church. She found that she loved to learn more about God, his love for her and his love for everyone. This knowledge became a source of deep joy for her.

Her parents and her church also taught her that her faith and her values would be challenged in the world today. She made a personal commitment to Christ and to her Christian values, prepared to deal with the challenges this commitment would bring.

You really think I’m pretty?

When Carrie was 17, some people began insisting that she enter beauty pageants. “I didn’t even know what a pageant was,” she told the press recently. But Carrie had always liked challenges and trying new things. The idea that she could be competitive in a beauty contest stirred her imagination.

Going for it

Carrie isn’t exaggerating when she describes herself as someone who can be very enthusiastic once she decides on a goal. She got the name of a woman who helps organize beauty pageants and called her. When the woman met Carrie, she seemed impressed. She explained the basics of the pageant and gave Carrie some information to look over and some forms to fill out. So it was that, at 17, Carrie entered her first beauty contest … and won!

College!

In college, Carrie continued participating in beauty pageants. She spent her freshman year at a state school, but after prayer and discernment decided that she wanted to attend a Christian college. She transferred to San Diego Christian College, a school known for promoting a strong faith life.

Carrie greatly enjoyed her new school. She saw the environment of faith and intellectual challenge as an opportunity to prepare for the future: She wanted to be a Christian leader. She wanted to help bring Christ to others and make a difference in the world. Most of all, she wanted people to know the deep sense of satisfaction she had found through a personal and prayerful relationship with Jesus.

Reaching out

Besides her studies and her beauty pageant preparations, Carrie also got involved in outreach programs to the handicapped and the hurting. She took part in a ministry to women exploited by prostitution and pornography.

Beauty strategy

During this time, Carrie’s attitude toward beauty pageants was, “Just be joyful and be myself. Be happy with who I am and try to show kindness to everyone else.” It worked. Her successes mounted with each contest. This past November Carrie won the Miss California USA pageant. She was also voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.

Prepping

Winning the Miss California USA title was exciting in itself, but it also qualified her for the Miss USA pageant. She decided to take a semester off from school to prepare for the pageant. She worked out, followed a demanding diet and studied many of the topics she might be asked about.

The Miss USA pageant took place in Las Vegas over a two-week period. Only the last day of the pageant, April 19, was shown on national television. Which brings us back to the question that changed her life.

Facing Down Fear

As the telecast began, the host named 15 finalists. Several rounds of competition followed until only five girls remained. For the final round, each finalist would have to answer a question from a celebrity judge. The girls picked judges’ numbers from a bottle and Carrie ended up with Judge No. 8 — Perez Hilton.

This man’s real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. He is famous for his abrasive personality and insulting commentaries on TV and the Internet. He is also famous for promoting changing the definition of marriage so gay couples can get “married.”

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage,” said Mr. Hilton. “Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

This was a loaded question. Perez Hilton was setting Carrie up to either cave in to popular pressure or make a fool of herself in front of millions of people.

Or so he thought.

At first, Carrie tried to soft-pedal her beliefs. “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

But as she spoke these words, she heard a still, small voice speaking to her heart. Which crown did she want more — the Miss USA crown or the crown Christ wanted to give her?

She interrupted herself in mid-thought. “And you know what?” she said. “I think that in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman — no offense to anybody out there — but that’s how I was raised and … I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Media Firestorm

As Carrie spoke these words, an immediate reaction rose from the audience. Most people applauded, encouraged by Carrie’s bravery and honesty, but there were also some boos. You probably already know that Carrie lost the contest.

Afterward, a famous television reporter asked her about Perez Hilton’s question. Carrie was surprised that such a famous reporter would want to talk to the runner-up rather than the winner. In her mind, what happened to her was simply a side story. She soon began to find out that this was not just a side story. It had already become national news.

Digging up dirt

In May, a celebrity-gossip blog ran a photo of Carrie partially undressed. Her back was to the camera, and the image was not especially racy by today’s standards, but the organizers of the Miss California pageant announced that they were investigating. Carrie, they said, might have her Miss California title taken from her.

Speaking in her own defense, Carrie stated that she had posed for the shot when she was 17 and pursuing a career as a model. She objected to the release of the photo.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

She has also pointed out that she was “naive and young” at the time of the photography and regrets having made the decision to pose for that particular shoot. Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage — which works to keep marriage between one man and one woman — spoke out in Carrie’s defense. “You don’t have to be a perfect person,” said Gallagher, “to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

“You’re fired!”

The media circus followed Carrie around for weeks. Then, on June 10, the final ax fell. Carrie was stripped of her Miss California crown. This was the title that had gotten her into the Miss USA pageant to begin with.The organizers of the Miss California pageant claimed Carrie had not been cooperative in carrying out her duties. Carrie disputed that claim.

“They don’t agree with the stance that I took [on gay marriage],” she said. “They don’t like me. From Day One they wanted me out, and they got what they wanted. … I was very respectful of people even when they slandered me and humiliated me,” she added. “I have not once stooped down to their level.”

With these words, and with her acceptance of embarrassing defeat, Carrie showed the world what Christian forgiveness looks like.

A Crown lost, a crown gained

Carrie may have been stripped of her crown as Miss California, but she certainly can stand tall. She has been given a crown of courage, even if many mock her and call her a hypocrite. She has stood up for marriage at a time when it is extremely important to do so.

Marriage really matters. It matters for all of society. Carrie has done her small part to witness to the beauty and truth of marriage.

Battles ahead

What does Carrie Prejean’s future hold? That remains to be seen. She still has many choices ahead of her.

One thing is for certain: The battle for the truth about marriage will continue. Legal experts foresee a very heated and difficult battle, because, with the approval of gay “marriage” in many states, the Christian view of marriage may be considered bigoted “hate speech” by government.

We Catholics, too, will be called on to defend marriage. Will we have the courage to stand firm as Carrie Prejean did — even when it means losing something we have worked hard for? When we experience loss, we can remember that nothing is truly lost when we stand up for truth.

On the contrary, we help others. Let us continue to speak the truth with love. Christ will give us our crown, and we will know the happiness of having helped others with our lives.

Bible Blurbs

“God created man in his image; …male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: ‘Be fertile and multiply’…”

Genesis 1:27-28

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

Genesis 2:24

“…for I will honor those who honor me…”

1 Samuel 2:30

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10

Catechism Clips

372: Man and woman were made “for each other” – not that God left them half-made and incomplete: he created them to be a communion of persons… for they are …complementary as masculine and feminine.

2202: A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their children, form a family. This institution is prior to any recognition by public authority, which has an obligation to recognize it.

1778: In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right.

2333: Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life.

2360: Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman.

Pope Quotes:

“… the need to avoid confusing marriage with other types of unions based on weak love is especially urgent. It is only the rock of total irrevocable love between a man and a woman that can serve as the foundation on which to build… a home for all mankind.

(May 11, 2006)

Marriage is engraved in the human being himself… man leaves his parents and is united to a woman in order to form only one flesh, so that the two may be a single existence.

(April 6, 2006: Meeting with young people)

The sexual difference that distinguishes the male from the female body is not a mere biological factor… man and woman, by becoming one flesh, can achieve authentic communion… and cooperate with God in the procreation of new human beings.

(May 11, 2006)

Thus, …marriage is not an invention of the Church: it is really created right in the moment that man is created, as a fruit of the dynamism of love in which the man and the woman find themselves and thus also find the Creator who called them to love.

(April 6, 2006: Meeting with young people)

Today the various forms of the erosion of marriage, such as free unions and “trial marriage” and even pseudo-marriages between people of the same sex… makes the body despicable, placing it… outside the person’s authentic being and dignity.

(June 6, 2006)

Saints & Heroes

Defended marriage, ‘til death did him part…!

Blessed Peter To Rot (1912-1945)

Peter, the son of a tribal chief, was one of the first of his tribe to become Christian. His family was from Papua New Guinea, in the South Pacific. He was always very smart, and was always a leader, both in school, and at sports.

When he got older, he was sent to school to become a catechist and teacher. He worked to teach and defend the Catholic faith. He later got married and became the father of three children.

In 1942, during World War II, the Japanese invaded New Guinea and imprisoned all of the missionaries who had been working there. Peter brought food to them in the prison camps.

In 1945 all religious activity was prohibited, but Peter continued to fulfill his duties in secret, including teaching, bringing people the sacraments, and hiding the Eucharist in a cave.

The Japanese decided they could win support of the local people by making it once again legal for a man to marry more than one woman. This had been outlawed when Christianity spread there. Peter openly and publicly opposed this legalization of polygamy.

One of his fellow villagers, a man who spied for the Japanese, wanted to take another man’s wife for his own. Peter went to the man’s house and reminded him that marriage was a sacred union that he could not destroy. The man listened to Peter, but became bitter and looked for ways to trap Peter and hand him over to the Japanese. Not long after, the man found out Peter had celebrated a Catholic wedding with two couples. The man had him arrested for breaking the laws about religious practice.

After several months in a prison and a concentration camp, he was murdered by two military guards who hated the Catholic faith. They injected him with a terrible drug and he died a vicious death.

He had told people he was prepared to die for his faith and his people, and so he did. And he became the first native from the South Pacific to approach canonization.

Her body crushed, but her faith stronger than stone…

St. Margaret Clitherow(1556-1586)

In the sixteenth century, King Henry the VIII of England wanted a son very badly. In order to have one, he divorced one wife, had another beheaded, and separated the Church of England from the Catholic Church because the Pope would not approve.

Following this, there were violent persecutions of Catholics, people who chose their loyalty to God and the church over the king, and who were willing to stand up and say the king could not simply dismiss the bonds of a sacred marriage.

Margaret was 15 when she married John Clitherow, a butcher. She had three children, and became a Catholic at 18. Her husband approved of her conversion, even though it could be dangerous.

Margaret became a friend to the Catholics of northern England. She even hosted secret masses in her home. She cut a secret escape hatch from her attic to the neighbors house, so priests and nuns could escape if soldiers raided her house.

Her love of her faith inspired her son to become a priest. He had to leave the country because it was illegal to be a Catholic priest there.

Eventually, Margaret was discovered and arrested, charged with harboring Catholic priests. She knew that if there was a trial, her children would be brought in to court, tortured, and forced to testify against their mother. Margaret also knew that if she refused to plea guilty or not guilty, she would be immediately executed, but her family would be spared a torturous trial. So she refused to plea.

She was sentenced to be crushed to death. Even her executioners were so moved that they could not kill her themselves, so they paid a few desperate beggars to do it for them. They placed a sharp stone behind her back, laid a wooden door on top of her, and piled rocks on the door until she was dead.

Margaret believed in the sanctity of marriage, and that no political pressure could sway her faith in God and love for his church.

Virtuous Verbiage Verification:

bigoted: utterly intolerant of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.

conscience: one’s best judgment, in a given situation, on what is right or wrong. It is our duty to “form” our conscience – this means to learn what is objectively right from wrong, so we can make the right choices.

discernment: a process in which one prays and listens to the Holy Spirit, in order to figure out what the will of God is.

enthusiastic: having or showing great excitement, motivation, and interest

happy/happiness: the sense of contentment, fulfillment, and being satisfied. We become “more” happy as we get closer to God, and we will only be completely happy with Him forever in Heaven.

marriage: the vocation (or life-calling) from God, to one man and one woman, empowered by grace through the sacrament of matrimony, to become united to each other physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This bond is permanent (until death), and it is exclusive (they only unite with each other, never with anyone else). The fruit of a true marriage is openness to children, through which a man and woman participate in the very life and love of God.

naive: inexperienced, simple-minded, lacking the knowledge that one learns from experience, gullible

right: 1) good, just, correct 2) a privilege one naturally deserves or is guaranteed by a government: “the right to life”, “inalienable rights…”, “the right to remain silent…”

slandered: defamed, had one’s reputation ruined by another’s false claims or accusations

surreptitiously: with sneaky and secret plans, especially related to an attack or a trap

Discussion questions:

1. What does it mean to be “tolerant” of others? Did Carrie Prejean say anything that was “intolerant” of others? Were Perez Hilton and the officials of the Miss USA/Miss California Pageants tolerant of Carrie’s religious beliefs? Does being tolerant require that you change your beliefs? Is it possible to “accept” a person without accepting their beliefs?
2. Does the Catholic church define marriage for one man and one woman because it hates homosexuals and wants to punish them for not “fitting in”? Or is the Church really looking out for what is best for ALL men and women?
3. Since God designed marriage to be “life-giving” and “procreative,” is it ok for a man and woman who are married to refuse to be open to having children, even if they are totally capable of doing so?

Journal Writing:

• Make a list of some of the things you believe in the most and feel the strongest about… the kind of things you would be willing to stand up for no matter what. Write about why you believe in those things, and if you think they mean enough to you that you would sacrifice your dreams or goals for what you believe in like Carrie did.
• Imagine you have a friend who lives in a country where there is no freedom of speech or religion, a place where this friend could be arrested for simply stating what he/she believes. write a letter to this friend and encourage them to hold on to their beliefs.

Debate:

Divide in two teams. The debate topic is “Does a government have the right to define marriage without taking into account the religious beliefs of the majority of its people? Is this a matter of separating church and state? Or is this a matter of government taking away some freedoms of religion and speech?”

Activity:

Write letters of support to Carrie Prejean. Offer her encouragement for the many more choices she will have to face as she continues to grow. Find out how to send them to her, or send them to us at O.F.I.A. and we will send them to her.

Some new girls on the block are leading a revolution. It is a revolution of beauty, a beauty that starts on the inside, but shows on the outside as well. And they are getting attention. This week we look at a new trend in fashion, begun by girls whose beauty is more than a façade. They are turning heads, making headlines, and changing hearts.

THIs Is YOUR RUNWAy

“When you walk, keep your back straight, and lead with your hips,” says Leah Darrow, as she demonstrates walking across a room. “And remember—it’s a fashion show, not a track meet. Make this natural, make it your own. This is your runway.”

Leah Darrow, a model and former contestant on the TV show America’s Next Top Model is one of the mentors to these new girls on the block. The girls are preparing for the Pure Fashion Show in St. Louis. They will model trendy clothes, yes, but they will model something else. They will model the work of a great designer; the best designer, God. Their goal is to highlight the joy and confidence that come from knowing they are images of God’s beauty.

SURPRIsING SCENE

Leah knows how attractive these girls can be. They changed her life. She was in the midst of a high-powered modeling career in New York when she happened to see part of a Pure Fashion Show on television. Her career and her life choices were taking her down a dark alley. As she watched the clips on Pure Fashion, she felt the contrast between what was going on in her own life and what she saw on the faces of the girls in the show. She loved the fashions, but there was something else….

“I wondered why those cute girls and adorable outfits were being showcased on the Catholic Channel.”

Leah was touched, and she was curious. She decided to find out more. She looked up Pure Fashion on the Web and decided to write an email to the director, Brenda Sharman (a professional model herself), thanking her for putting together the program. 

“Little did I know what one small email can do—Brenda called me personally, and we talked for what seemed to be only twenty minutes, when in actuality hours had passed.”

BEAUTy AND THE MIRROR

Her conversation with Brenda made her think. Beauty has power. And yet, beauty is a gift. It is a gift that can be used for good or for bad. Leah saw something in the beauty of these girls that made her reassess the power of her own beauty.

Yes, she was beautiful, and yes, she was getting attention, but was she beautiful on the inside? Did the mirror show a girl who was full of goodness, or did it show a girl who was willing to throw away her principles for vanity and pride?

GOOD GIRL GONE…

Leah had grown up on a farm in Oklahoma. As a young girl, she saw how her family turned to God in the midst of a terrible tragedy: the murder of her grandfather. It was then, at age twelve, that she became aware that it was God alone who could mend any problem. Yet something happened after college. She had always felt attracted to fashion and had modeled extensively, but that year she was chosen to compete on Season 3 of the reality TV show, America’s Next Top Model. Soon she was living in New York City, and she began to experience the pull of the darkness that much of the fashion culture was leading her into.

BEAUTy AND THE BEAsT

Helen Alvare, a leading women’s expert, spoke recently about the “dark side” of our media-driven culture: “We have the ability to broadcast to each other and to the world constant, loud, and dramatic images, including sexually charged images of women. Women are ‘objectified’ by being identified solely with their bodies.” As Pope Benedict XVI says, “This is hardly man’s great ‘yes’ to the body.” Our souls are either ignored or considered irrelevant in this type of culture.

BEAUTy AND THE BAbE…Of GOD

Talking with Brenda, Leah began to remember a beauty she had often felt inside her soul: the beauty of being loved by God. She looked at the choices she was making and realized she needed to come back to the Father’s house. She needed to be authentic about who she was as a child of God. She wrote in her diary, “Satan has had his fun with me for too long. I have been blinded by ignorance and corrupted by vanity and pride. I take back from Satan what is Yours and I give my entire self to You…. Dear Lord, make me new again in You.”

GIVING BACK

Talking with Brenda and praying, Leah felt the call to change her life and to give back some of the love she had received from God. She moved back to St. Louis, where she helped put together the first St. Louis Pure Fashion team. She still models, but has used her college studies to develop her healthcare career in neuropsychology assessment. She is also the youth minister at Sacred Heart Parish in Eureka, Missouri.

THE POWER Of MODELING

So, what was it that Leah saw in the Pure Fashion girls? “We’re not modeling a certain designer,” says fifteen-year-old Erin Moore, a Pure Fashion model from Josephville, Missouri. “We’re modeling the Great Designer.” “We are all made in his image,” says seventeen-year-old Jessica Loos. “ And Pure Fashion is more about finding the way he wants us to be and acting on it.”

The girls take part in a yearlong program that not only mentors them on being beautiful on the outside, but also shows them interior beauty, the beauty that springs from the heart. They learn that spiritual values, such as deep kindness, a strong relationship with God, and moral courage bring a deep happiness of heart that shows on the outside—a happiness that changes other peoples’ hearts as well.

The yearlong program includes not only sessions on runway style, professional makeup, and public presentation, but also includes a spiritual retreat, community service, and discussions on the sort of values that make a girl a better image of God’s love and affirm her innate dignity.

POsTER GIRLs PUsHING A REVOLUTION

In putting on their shows, these girls also have become the undisputed poster girls for the modesty movement. They believe they can be pretty without being provocative. The shows highlight their beauty by featuring clothes that focus on the grace, elegance, and joy of being feminine without being a consumer object.

And the boys notice. As one teenage boy said after an Atlanta Pure Fashion Show, “These girls are much prettier than the ones who dress provocatively. They’re the sort of girls you want to be around, the ones you feel special being around.”

Not only do the boys notice, but the fashion industry is taking notice too. Stores are studying these girls to see what they consider hip-yet-modest. Pure Fashion Shows receive strong patronage from stores such as Macy’s, Nordstrom, Gap, Limited Too, and other fashion chains. Professional clothing designers are offering their services to the girls as well.

FUN AND FAbULOUs

Pure Fashion is no small-time organization. Thirty different cities across North America are holding Pure Fashion Shows this spring, and there are Pure Fashion Shows in Paris, as well as in other European cities. Many of the shows give teens an experience that rivals famous fashion shows in New York. Grammy award-winning singers such as Rebecca St. James often perform at the shows. Emmy award-winning production companies such as Executive Vision in Atlanta have found that the shows offer them a special opportunity to showcase their services as well as promote a better culture.

Brenda Sharman, a former Miss Georgia and still a professional model, said, “When some of my other professional model friends came in and saw Pure Fashion they were just amazed. The Pure Fashion Show truly blows away all other fashion shows in the South in terms of production quality and attendance.”

BEAUTy AND ATTRACTION

What is it about beauty that attracts? And why is real beauty more than just physical? Beauty is an expression of God. And human beauty is an expression of the personal nature of God. It is an expression of our call to friendship, to see another person as a remarkable gift. In our human nature, the attraction we feel towards beauty can bring us into communion. It can bring us into communion with God and with others.

GIfT IN GIVING

Real love, as Pope Benedict reminds us, is ecstasy. It is a becoming caught up in the beauty of another person, the spiritual beauty of the person, and giving ourselves to another person because we discover his or her true beauty. This is a reflection of our desire to love God. When we finally see God, we will be caught up in his beauty, and we will want to be with him in a way that makes all our present desires seem small by comparison. These girls, in a powerful and countercultural way, are teaching us about God. And they are teaching us about the true beauty of being a woman. We have much to learn from them.

Bible Blurbs:

“Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”
(1 Tim 4:12)

“…so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word…when they observe your chaste and reverent behavior.”
(1 Pt 3:1-2)

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
(Mt 5:16)

“For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”
(1 Cor 6:20)

Pope Quotes:

“Down the ages Christianity has been communicated and disseminated thanks to the newness of life of persons and communities capable of bearing an incisive witness of love, unity and joy.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

“…witness to the beauty of being Christian in an age when the opinion was spreading that Christianity is a difficult and oppressive way to live.” ( His Holiness Benedict XVI, March 24, 2007)

“Christ, who is ‘the beauty of every beauty’… is made present in the hearts of men and women and attracts them to their vocation which is love.” (His Holiness Benedict XVI, May 22, 2006)

Saints and Heros:

BEAUTy fOR THE KING

 St. Agnes of Bohemia, Nun of the Order of St Clare (entered heaven around 1282)

Agnes was a much sought after bride. Being the daughter of the king and queen of Bohemia (today’s Czech Republic), and Bohemia being a political jewel, she was bartered around in various arranged marriage proposals. As she grew, however, she began to feel directly attracted to Christ. By the time she was twenty-eight, she had been promised in marriage more than four times. At this point, she was already a young lady, beautiful, gentle, wise, and elegant, adding her own charms to her political sweetness. So attractive was she, in fact, that the emperor of Europe, Frederick, asked for her hand in marriage. Agnes, however, had by then decided to live only for Christ and had even asked the Pope to stand as protector of her private vow of virginity. Most girls don’t say “no” to emperors, so everyone (the Pope included) was a bit apprehensive about breaking the news to Frederick. To his credit, however, the emperor responded gallantly, actually a bit flattered to have been turned down by someone who had already been chosen by the King of heaven.

Free from worldly concerns, she was able to devote herself completely to prayer and serving souls in need. She built hospitals and started a religious order to care for them; she built hospices and poorhouses; she even built a Poor Clare convent, which she then entered as a humble religious. Soon she was made superior of the community, however, and served there the remaining fifty years of her life. She was beloved by all and because of her social position, she was able to spread the healing light of Christ throughout Europe merely by her example.

HELPING OTHERs CATCH GOD’s FIRE

St. Bernard, Abbot of Clairvaux, Doctor of the Church (entered heaven on August 20, 1153)

Bernard was of noble birth, and he showed extraordinary social and intellectual talent and skill from a very young age. By the time he finished his education (he was twenty-two), all that the luxurious world of the Middle Ages (for nobles, anyway) had to offer was within his grasp. But he felt God calling him to forsake it all for a higher Kingdom. He struggled at first, but he asked the Lord for strength and clarity, and he received both.

And then came the amazing thing. Instead of just marching off on his own to join the newly reformed monastic community at Citeaux, he started talking to friends and family members about his decision. He spoke so powerfully about the merits of putting one’s life wholly at God’s service that he convinced one after another of them to accompany him. By the time he set out, he had gathered about him thirty-one young noblemen. They all showed up together on Citaeux’s doorstep to offer themselves for the Lord’s service, much to the surprised delight of the abbot, St. Stephen Harding, who had not received a new novice for several years. Nothing like it has ever occurred in the history of the Church.

St. Bernard was always gushing forth beautiful speeches and sermons about the love of God. It was a love he had come to know, and that was the real source of his prodigious career—and it really was prodigious. He founded the famous monastery at Clairvaux, which in turn fathered sixty-eight other Cistercian monasteries. He gave spiritual (and political) guidance to popes and emperors, kings and barons, abbots and saints.

He resolved wars and schisms by the force of his wisdom and tact. He defended Catholic scholarship against secularism (the infamous rationalist Peter Abelard was his contemporary), rallied all of Europe in an effort to defend fellow Christians in the Holy Land (under the banner of the doomed “Second Crusade”), and left a wake of miracles in his path as he trekked back and forth across the continent in defense of God’s honor. True, all he really wanted was to retire from the world and devote himself to prayer and solitude, but he willingly embraced the cross God fashioned for him—much to the world’s benefit.

Christ’s love had set St Bernard’s heart on fire with love, which in turn inflamed others’ hearts. So if you really want to change the world, let yourself be totally caught by the transforming love of Christ.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1. What do you think of Pure Fashion? Do you think it is a good idea? Do you think it is effective? Can you think of some stereotypes these girls might be overcoming by their shows?
2.  What do you think of Leah Darrow’s story? Do you think she did the right thing by leaving a promising career as a supermodel and dedicating herself to Pure Fashion? What reasons made her leave the supermodel atmosphere? Do you think she feels more fulfilled now? Why? 
3. What do you think of modeling shows like America’s Next Top Model? Do you think they help women be more admired and valued? Do you think they make women feel good about themselves? How would you improve these types of shows? 
4. What are the spiritual values that make a person more attractive? How do people who live these values help others to know and love God better? 
5. Why do you think the media and fashion industries are interested in Pure Fashion?
6. What do you think of the modesty movement? Do you think it helps girls? Do you think it helps boys? In what ways might it help? 
7. What about boys’ fashions? Are there some ways guys are encouraged to dress today that sends the wrong message? 
8. What are some ways in which guys and girls can help one another “perceive the person” and not just the body in the way they act and the way they dress? 
9. Do you think that practicing the virtue of modesty can make a person happier? In what way? 
10. In what way does human beauty express who God is? In what way does beauty remind us that we are made for God? 

ACTIVITIES 

• For girls: Read the fashion guidelines on the Pure Fashion Web site and go on a shopping trip to the mall with some friends. You don’t have to buy anything, but each girl should put together an outfit that pleases her and also meets the guidelines on the site. Afterwards, have a discussion about what you chose and what your fashion choices express about you and your goals or values in life. (The guys can do something similar, using their common sense and an adult mentor as a guide.)
• For both guys and girls: Write a letter to a clothing chain or magazine that promotes an immodest vision of guys or girls. Explain your thoughts or concerns. Make a promise to shop at their store if they make some changes. See if you get a response. 
• Investigate whether there are any stores that feature clothes that promote a positive view of guys or girls (i.e., stores that respect modesty). See if any of their clothes look interesting or fashionable to you. Write them a note thanking them for their efforts. Buy something from them the next time you need to buy some clothing. 

JOURNAL WRITING 

1. Write an essay about the type of person you might like to marry. If you are a guy, try to define the type of girl you would like to marry. What special qualities make a girl attractive to you? If you are a girl, try to explain the type of boy you would like to marry. What types of qualities make a boy attractive to a girl? 
2. Write a letter to that imaginary person. Tell him or her some things you would like to improve about yourself in order to prepare for the day when you marry. Explain to him or her some of the values you would most like to share in your marriage. Talk about the type of values and experiences you would like to share with your children. 

RESOURCES 

Sites

• Pure Fashion Web site 
• Some media reports about Pure Fashion
• Short summary of Leah Darrow’s faith and beliefs 
• Talk by Helen Alvare: “Female Objectification Not All Fault of Men” 
• Letter on the Dignity of Women by Pope John Paul II
• Models for Christ Web site 
• Letter to Women by Pope John Paul II 

BOOKS 

• Theology of the Body for Teens, Discovering God’s Plan for Love and Life, Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler, 2006, Ascension Press 
• God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex, David Hajduk, 2006, Pauline Books and Media 

What do most people remember most about the Super Bowl Game of 2004?  Is it the 85-yard touchdown pass by Jake Delhomme that broke the Super Bowl record of the longest touchdown pass ever thrown? Is it the 41-yard field goal that Adam Vinetari kicked to win the game with four seconds left?  Oh, C’mon, do we even remember the score?

Most likely, what people will remember will be the half-time show, when network television crossed the line of decency during this family event. The half-time show, with sexually explicit lyrics, dancing and ripping off of clothing, crossed a line that should make us think and act.

Lowering Standards

Getting used to something bad can happen little by little. For years the networks and our culture as a whole have been moving the line of what’s viewed as appropriate or decent for young people and family audiences.  Slowly we have become desensitized in no longer feeling shocked or surprised in hearing and seeing images that show a lack of respect for women, and promote sexuality as a vehicle for self-pleasure.

How do we know if we have been desensitized?  The test is whether we feel a sense of surprise, shock or embarrassment in what we experience. Although most viewers thought Justin and Janet’s actions were wrong, most of us weren’t surprised that an MTV half-time production presented lewd dancing, raunchy lyrics and sexual moves.

Sexuality and marriage

God has a beautiful plan for sexuality. God has created sex as one way to love as He loves. Obviously, God does not have sex, but he does love us with intensity and complete fidelity. The tenderness, intimacy and passion of the union of husband and wife are meant to be an image of the intensity of God’s love for each of us.

God’s love is a personal, faithful, and committed love. Real love means being capable of laying down your life for another person. God meant sex to be that way too. Sex means that God has asked you to be the visible sign of his love for that person. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body” (Gen 2:24).

Bonding and babies

Also, sex is directly linked to God’s power and joy in creating another human person. Spouses are saying with God: “You are so wonderful that this world would be a better place if there were more people like you. I commit to being the father or mother of our child.”
Sex is a powerful and beautiful thing, but like so many beautiful things, its beauty is also fragile. Its power and beauty can also be misused. Using sex as something that simply makes us feel good without a permanent commitment to the other person turns sex into  selfishness, manipulation and slavery. To paraphrase a line from a movie, “Your body is making promises to me that you have no intention of keeping.”

But it’s just a T.V. show

Much of today’s media has tried to promote a selfish vision of sex. Television shows, movies, advertisements and music often suggest sexual relations without marriage, making people think that it is okay, or that it is just a trivial activity for fun and self-pleasure. In a Kaiser Family Foundation study, 76% of teens said that one reason young people have sex is because TV shows and movies make it seem normal for teens.i  An honest look at our own experiences tells us this is true, especially in relationship to sexual images and topics.

Sex Sells

It’s instructive to ask why there are so many sexual images in the media.  The answer is that sex sells, and selling things makes companies lots of money.  Stirring up sexual feelings in people can trigger our emotions, our minds and our body chemistry.  It’s easier to forget the answers to the social studies test than an advertisement that’s tied to sexual feelings.  Advertisers know this is part of human nature, so they study it and use it to exploit us so we will buy their products. They place more value on their profits than they do on the truth and dignity of human sexuality.

How far is too far?

Many would say, “Having sex is one thing, but the way I dress and behave is another. You can go pretty far without ‘doing anything’.” Apparently Justin and Janet did not “do anything” either, and yet it was clear that they went “too far”.

When something is special we treat it with respect. Sex is very special. Deep down, it means making a complete gift of one’s self to another person. The key is the word “gift”. Modesty creates respect for that gift. It reserves the gift for that one special person who has committed his or her life to me. Modesty does not mean dressing ugly. When we want to give someone something special and “just for him” or “just for her” we usually wrap the gift with beauty and wait until the right moment. Modesty means protecting that gift and making it as special as it was meant to be.

Modesty and mystery

Modesty actually makes a person more beautiful. In true love there is a mystery about the other person that creates an awe and fascination. This is not a game. Each person is truly a mystery, because each person is made in God’s image, and belongs first of all to God. Marriage and sex mean being allowed into the mystery of another person in an intimate and permanent way. Contrast what happened in the show to what the Church teaches about the delicate beauty of sex. That beauty should be protected and promoted by the virtue of modesty.
“Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love…Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing…It protects, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. “(CCC, 2522-3).
Thus it becomes a question not of “how far is too far”, but rather, how much you are willing to respect what real love is all about.
“That’s just the way things are nowadays.” …Oh, really?
It’s important to realize that we have the power to try and change things when we experience something against our values. Although the majority of people are aware that there is a general lack of modesty in television shows, it was not until this occurrence that they decided to do something about it. 200,000 people complained to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) about the half-time show. That is a new record.

Thanks to the action of the American people, steps were immediately taken to ensure decency the following week.  CBS took some responsibility and decided to broadcast the Grammy Award show on a five-minute delay, so they could delete anything that was too raunchy before it was sent into our homes.

Janet Jackson was asked not to attend the Grammy Awards, in hopes of the outraged society cooling down their memories of being offended. Justin Timberlake was still there to get his award and apologize to the public. Female performers at those awards decided to dress more modestly.

At the following week’s Pro Bowl planned half-time songs were eliminated that included sexual language.

The FCC is looking into charging monetary fines to those responsible. Since TV and media are also about money, placing large fines for each violation can be very effective. Over the last ten years the FCC has shied away from doing this, but increased public demands of decency can give this government agency the confidence it needs to enforce already existing laws that are meant to protect the beauty and dignity of sex.

Our power as consumers can also make a difference. Boycotts and protests to advertisers and companies get the companies’ attention. Thus, it is not only the responsibility of the government and the television stations, but also of the American people to safeguard the decency of the media.

These short-term steps are encouraging. However, the real test comes over the long term.  After the present criticism dies down, will the media go back to using sex as a tool for selling shows and products, and will it still portray sex as a tool for self-pleasure?  And what about the larger issue of promoting sex outside of marriage? Will we wait until people are completely desensitized to begin to protest and work for change?

Bible Blurbs

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”  1 Corinthians 6:13
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her… (Ephesians 5: 25)
“But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt 5:28
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? … Therefore honor God with your body.”     1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Catechism Clips

• 2520 Baptism confers on its recipient the grace of purification from all sins. But the baptized must continue to struggle against concupiscence of the flesh and disordered desires. With God’s grace he will prevail …-by the virtue and gift of chastity, for chastity lets us love with upright and undivided heart; …- by purity of intention …- by purity of vision, external and internal; by discipline of feelings and imagination; by refusing all complicity in impure thoughts that incline us to turn aside from the path of God’s commandments: “Appearance arouses yearning in fools”;314 – by prayer:
• 2521 …. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden … It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them….
• 2525 Christian purity requires a purification of the social climate. It requires of the communications media that their presentations show concern for respect and restraint. Purity of heart brings freedom from widespread eroticism and avoids entertainment inclined to voyeurism and illusion.
• 2361 “Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.”143
• 2496 The means of social communication (especially the mass media) can give rise to a certain passivity among users, making them less than vigilant consumers of what is said or shown. Users should practice moderation and discipline in their approach to the mass media. They will want to form enlightened and correct consciences the more easily to resist unwholesome influences.

Quotable Quotes

“It is well known how this young girl had to face a bitter struggle with no way of defending herself. Without warning a vicious stranger burst upon her, bent on raping her and destroying her childlike purity. …With splendid courage she surrendered herself to God and his grace and so gave her life to protect her virginity. …
“From Maria’s story … young people with their zest for life can learn not to be led astray by attractive pleasures which are not only ephemeral and empty but also sinful. …
“Not all of us are expected to die a martyr’s death, but we are all called to the pursuit of Christian virtue. This demands strength of character though it may not match that of this innocent girl. Still, a constant, persistent and relentless effort is asked of us…”  From a homily given by Pope Pius XII at the canonization of Saint Maria Goretti (Maria died in 1902 at twelve years old, protecting her purity from the aggressions of a young man.)
“Dear young people… You are right to be disappointed with hollow entertainment and passing fads, and with aiming at too little in life. If you have an ardent desire for the Lord you will steer clear of the mediocrity and conformism so widespread in our society.” (John Paul II Message for World Youth Day 2002)
http://www.themediaproject.com/news/itn/122002.html

Vocabulary

Respect for Others -Showing honor and consideration for each human being; upholding the dignity of every person
Responsibility – Being accountable for our actions
Modesty – Being decent or appropriate in dress, speech, and behavior
Exploit- Use to one’s advantage
Decency -Proper behaviour in speech, dress and behavior
Desensitized- Made emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks.
Scandal – behavior that leads another to do evil. Unseemly conduct of a person that causes moral lapse in another; cause for stumbling, temptation

Saints and Heroes

St. Genesius of Rome was a performer in the Roman Empire during the 4th century who was martyred for a show in which he expressed his values. As a comedian and leader of a theatrical group, he had the opportunity to perform one day before the Emperor Diocletian. Although he originally intended to ridicule the Christian rites by pretending to receive the Sacrament of Baptism, he converted onstage. When the water was poured over his head, he proclaimed himself a Christian. Diocletian at first enjoyed the realistic play, but finding Genesius to be in earnest, ordered him to be tortured and then beheaded (c. 303). His feast is August 25, and he is the patron of actors, theatrical performers and musicians.

Blessed Angela of Foligno (1248-1309) Born in Foligno, Italy as a wealthy non-Christian, she married young and had several children. She was a worldly and frail woman who lived wildly, adulterously and sacrilegiously for a while. She had a conversion in 1285 when she saw a vision, and after the death of her mother, husband and children she turned completely to God and penance. As a Franciscan tertiary, she led a group of other tertiaries and was known for her charity, patience and humility. She died on January 4, 1309 in Foligno of natural causes. She is the patron of people ridiculed for their piety, and for those suffering temptations.

Discussion Questions

1. Do you think that television is helping to raise or lower your community standards? Do you think that television is helping to raise or lower family values?
2. What is the importance of keeping sexuality inside marriage? Why did God give it such importance as to make it a sacrament? What is true love?
3. If your class is familiar with the TV show Friends, read to them the following quote and then open it up for discussion:  “Our teens are victims of a society which is toxic to their sexual health.  Television programs like “Friends” are selling sex to my patients.  These are lies that need to be exposed to the television audience.  Statistically, on Friends, two of those people should have an STD.  Have we heard about it? NO! OF course you don’t, because they don’t want to talk about that, because then nobody wants to watch the show.” Dr. Meg Meeker, Saving Our Children, Front Line, St. Louis. Winter 2003

Personal Reflection/Writing

1. What are some ways we can strengthen our own values without having to throw the television out the window? How can we form our consciences to know what parts are good and what parts are not? How can we help friends who might not have the same means that we have to stay strong, and might be more influenced by what they see in the media?
2. Write a letter to your future spouse. Tell him or her what type of a person and spouse you want to be for him or her. Tell why you promise to wait for him or her.

Resolution Idea

1. Go through your closet and get rid of immodest clothing. Vow to dress more modestly.
2. File a formal complaint with the FCC http://www.afa.net/petitions/fcccomplaint.asp

Resources

www.teens4truth.com
Kreeft, Peter Back to Virtue Ignatius Press, pp. 165-176
Madrid, Patrick, Surprised By Truth II (Story about a model who had a conversion)

In this lesson, we will see how attitude triumphs over adversity.

Part I: Facing the Unexpected

Some people show true heroism by their actions; others are heroic simply by their attitude.  In this lesson, we will see how attitude triumphs over adversity.  This is the story of Bethany Hamilton, a young surfer, whose promising career was cut short by a shark attack.

Growing up in a family of surfers along the northern shores of Kauai, Hawaii, Bethany easily took to the sport at age eight.  By thirteen, after winning many tournaments, she had secured a corporate sponsor and was looking forward to turning pro.  Her plans unexpectedly changed on the morning of October 31, 2003.

After breakfast that morning, Bethany wished her father well.  He was scheduled to have knee surgery later that day, and both were looking forward to surfing together again.  While he prepared for the hospital, Bethany met up with her friends for a day of surfing at the Tunnels Beach reef.  After riding a few waves, Bethany took a break, floating on her board with her left hand dangling in the water.

Suddenly, a gray blur pulled Bethany into the water.  She held tightly to her board until the blur, a 14-foot tiger shark, let go.  Along with a large piece of her surfboard, the shark had bitten off most of Bethany’s left arm.  Her friends used a surfboard strap as a tourniquet to limit the bleeding.  Still conscious, Bethany remained surprisingly calm.  “I think I figured…if I panicked, then things wouldn’t go as good as if I were calm,” she said.

An ambulance drove her to the nearest hospital, where another patient awaiting surgery was moved from its only operating room.  The other patient was Bethany’s father.  “I just prayed to God that she’d survive,” he said.  “They had to roll me out of the upcoming surgery room and she replaced me.”

As Bethany continues to recover, people are still abuzz about her story.  Shark attacks like hers are not so uncommon, but her attitude and actions following the incident continue to make news.

Part II: Faith and Hope 

Through the eyes of faith Bethany is able to see her apparent misfortune as an opportunity to do something for God. “I look at everything that’s happened as part of God’s plan for my life,” she says, “and I look forward to new challenges.”  Faith is the theological virtue by which we have the “certainty of things hoped for”  (Hebrews 11:1).   At a time when some people are tempted to become bitter at life and their situation, Bethany refuses to be negative about her injury because she truly believes God is in charge of her life.

Not only has Bethany chosen a positive outlook, she has been busy sharing it with others.  Soon after surgery, she commented that she could now be a more effective instrument in spreading the message of Christ, which pleased her.  These are nice words to say, but Bethany quickly acted on them.  While still in the hospital, she visited fellow patients, including a blind man and a young girl suffering from a tumor, to offer them support and hope.  Hope is the virtue that keeps us from discouragement and sustains us in times of trial.  Hope is the “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul”  (Hebrews 6:19).  Bethany’s strong faith gives hope to everyone she meets.

Days after the attack, Bethany was already making plans to get back out on the waves. 

She made her plans into a reality this past week.  On Saturday, January 10^th, 2004- just ten weeks after losing her arm- Bethany was back competing.  She finished 5^th in her age group in the National Scholastic Surfing Association  (NSSA) meet. “It was definitely a good start,” she commented on her results.  The NSSA director offered to give her more time between heats or put her in a more favorable heat, but Bethany refused.  “I want to be treated like everybody else,” she said. 

 Perhaps, everybody else should strive to be a bit more like Bethany.

Vocabulary

Tourniquet: A tight bandage used to stop the flow of blood to a large wound.

Faith:  Theological virtue by which we believe in God and believe all he has said and revealed to us

Theological virtue: Virtue infused by God at baptism into the souls of the faithful

Hope: Theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness

Bible Blurbs

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God.”  Romans 8:28

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger is than human strength.”  Corinthians 1:25

“This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God, that the Son of Man may be glorified through it.”  John 11:4

Similar Stories:

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati 

was born April 6, 1901, to a wealthy family in Turin, Italy.  Athletic and handsome with an energetic personality, young Pier Giorgio was known as a practical joker.   

He organized a group of friends he called the “Sinister Ones,” and led them on grueling hikes through the Alps.  He would always get his friends to pray the rosary with him on these hikes, and Mass was a part of every outing: either before or during the climb.  He would set up ski weekends with his friends in the same way. “To live without faith… without a steady struggle for truth,” he would say, “that is not living.”

Pier also had a great love for the poor and often said, “God gives us health so that we may serve the sick.”  He used his allowance to buy food and medicine for families in need.  He would even give away his own bus fare, having to run home to make it in time for dinner, but he never revealed what he was doing for others.

When he was only 24 years old, he contracted polio and died within five days.  At his funeral over 1,000 mourners from all over Turin came to pay their respects to Pier Giorgio.  Pope John Paul II beatified him in 1989 and has often talked about him to young people.

St. Ignatius of Loyola was born in Spain at the beginning of the 16^th century.  He was from a noble family and received a military education.  When he was still a young soldier he was badly wounded by a cannonball during a battle.  While he was recovering, only religious books were available to him.  As he read about Christ and the saints, he decided to follow God along a different path.

Ignatius went back to school to study theology and practice charity.  When he was given a message to relay to a fellow classmate that his parents could send no more money for tuition, Ignatius took it upon himself to take on a night job to pay his friend’s tuition rather than have his friend humiliated.  He was later ordained a priest.  In 1534, he founded the Society of Jesus, (Jesuits).    Ignatius founded many schools and inspired future saints and martyrs, including St. Francis Xavier.

Discussion Questions

What does Bethany’s reaction to losing her arm tell you about the way she lived her life before the shark attack?  How might Bethany have reacted had she not had her faith?  

Why do you think God would give Bethany a great talent for surfing if he knew she would not be able to pursue her talent to the fullest all her life?  (Remember  that God knows what is ultimately best for us and what will make us most happy.  See Bethany’s example of joy in being able to use the loss of her arm as a platform for bringing Christ to others.)   

Do you know of an example of someone who encountered an obstacle or tragedy, then used his or her overcoming it to make other’s lives better?  How did faith and hope play into their overcoming the obstacle?  Explain.  

Activities

One aspect of living out hope is looking at everything with a positive attitude, just like Bethany.  Identify one aspect in your school where you could do something to encourage positivity and come up with a class campaign to do it.  (Some examples: Make school spirit signs and promote an upcoming school event.  Have your campaign encourage participation in the sacraments: masses, communion services, and reconciliation opportunities.)  

Schedule a visit to a Nursing Home with the intention of making people happy, just like Bethany went to her fellow hospital patients to cheer them up.   

Send Bethany an email of support and encouragement. 

Catechism Tips

The following points elaborate on the virtues covered in the student text by presenting summaries of points from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC).

Theological virtues (Faith, Hope, Love) are gifts from God received by each of us at baptism.  As such, we must freely respond to them in order to live in a relationship with the Holy Trinity and merit eternal life.

The human virtues are rooted in the theological virtues, which adapt man’s faculties for participation in the divine nature: for the theological virtues relate directly to God. They dispose Christians to live in a relationship with the Holy Trinity. They have the One and Triune God for their origin, motive, and object. (CCC 1812)

The theological virtues are the foundation of Christian moral activity; they animate it and give it its special character. They inform and give life to all the moral virtues. They are infused by God into the souls of the faithful to make them capable of acting as his children and of meriting eternal life. They are the pledge of the presence and action of the Holy Spirit in the faculties of the human being. There are three theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity.  (CCC 1813)

The Most Holy Trinity gives the baptized sanctifying grace, the grace of justification:

– enabling them to believe in God, to hope in him, and to love him through the theological virtues;
- giving them the power to live and act under the prompting of the Holy Spirit through the gifts of the Holy Spirit;
- allowing them to grow in goodness through the moral virtues.
Thus the whole organism of the Christian’s supernatural life has its roots in Baptism.  (CCC 1266)

Faith is a personal act, our free response to God’s initiative, but not an isolated act.  In exercising faith, we are connected to God who gives it and to others with whom we share it.

Faith is a personal act – the free response of the human person to the initiative of God who reveals himself. But faith is not an isolated act. No one can believe alone, just as no one can live alone. You have not given yourself faith as you have not given yourself life. The believer has received faith from others and should hand it on to others. Our love for Jesus and for our neighbor impels us to speak to others about our faith. Each believer is thus a link in the great chain of believers. I cannot believe without being carried by the faith of others, and by my faith I help support others in the faith. (CCC 166).

Faith is the theological virtue by which we believe in God and believe all that he has said and revealed to us, and that Holy Church proposes for our belief, because he is truth itself. By faith “man freely commits his entire self to God.” For this reason the believer seeks to know and do God’s will. “The righteous shall live by faith.” Living faith “work[s] through charity.” (CCC 1814)

The Blessed Virgin Mary, by her perfect obedience to God’s will, is the best example of faith.

To obey (from the Latin ob-audire, to “hear or listen to”) in faith is to submit freely to the word that has been heard, because its truth is guaranteed by God, who is Truth itself. Abraham is the model of such obedience offered us by Sacred Scripture. The Virgin Mary is its most perfect embodiment.  (CCC 144).

In his preaching of the beatitudes, Christ offers us hope by lifting our sights to heaven, the new Promised Land.

Christian hope unfolds from the beginning of Jesus’ preaching in the proclamation of the beatitudes. The beatitudes raise our hope toward heaven as the new Promised Land; they trace the path that leads through the trials that await the disciples of Jesus. But through the merits of Jesus Christ and of his Passion, God keeps us in the “hope that does not disappoint.” Hope is the “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul . . . that enters . . . where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf.” Hope is also a weapon that protects us in the struggle of salvation: “Let us . . . put on the breastplate of faith and charity, and for a helmet the hope of salvation.” It affords us joy even under trial: “Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation.” Hope is expressed and nourished in prayer, especially in the Our Father, the summary of everything that hope leads us to desire. (CCC 1820).

True hope in our lives can be endangered by two forms of presumption: either that our own capacities are sufficient for salvation, or that God will grant us salvation regardless of our merit.

There are two kinds of presumption. Either man presumes upon his own capacities, (hoping to be able to save himself without help from on high), or he presumes upon God’s almighty power or his mercy (hoping to obtain his forgiveness without conversion and glory without merit).  (CCC 2092)

Quotable Quotes

“Suffering seems to belong to man’s transcendence: it is one of those points in which man is in a certain sense “destined” to go beyond himself, and he is called to this in a mysterious way.”  John Paul II, Salvifici Doloris, par 2, On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” (Saint Augustine Concerning Faith of Things Not Seen, chapter 1)

[DE FIDE RERUM QUAE NON VIDENTUR.] 

“We can never have too much hope in God.  He gives in the measure we ask.” St. Therese of Lisueux, Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux  

Related Websites

Bethany Hamilton Support Website…   http://bethanyhamilton.com/

Bethany Hamilton message board…   http://pub177.ezboard.com/bbethanyhamilton

More about Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati…   http://www.bettnet.com/frassati/