Every girl dreams of finding “the one,” “Mr. Right,” that special guy who looks into her eyes and makes her heart flutter… Every guy searches for that one girl who makes him feel like he’s king of the world. It turns out, no matter how famous or rich you get, that doesn’t change; at least so say the teen pop sensations, the Jonas Brothers. But these guys aren’t dating in typical Hollywood fashion.
Even if you don’t like their music, there is no denying their success. Though their ages are only 16, 19, and 21, these three New Jersey brothers have already fulfilled a lifetime’s worth of dreams. They’ve sold millions of CD’s and mp3 downloads, starred in movies, and played to packed arenas worldwide. Their pictures and posters line the lockers of tens of thousands of girls, and their fans are so into them it’s almost creepy. So whether or not their latest songs are on your playlist, they must be doing something right to be so successful.
Nick, the youngest in the band, was in a Broadway show at a very young age. By 12, he was approached by Columbia Records and offered a deal to make Christian music. On some of the recordings, Nick’s two older brothers, Kevin and Joe, joined him. The record company loved the sound so much, they decided to market them as “the Jonas Brothers”. Their first album of Christian music didn’t sell well with Columbia Records. But because of both their raw talent and their wholesome family appeal, Disney and Hollywood Records picked them up immediately. Their second CD was almost sold out before it was released.
BB Good in Hollywood
Though they are not making religious music anymore, the same Christian values their parents raised them with still influence their music, lyrics, videos, and, most importantly, their lives. Nick told Fox Extra, “We believe that we are Christians in a pop-rock band. That’s just the way we do it. Our faith is really important to us and it’s a big thing in everything we do.”
Kevin tells Cross Rhymes, “With our music we’re trying to be successful. Our whole thing is to play mainstream music but to be a light in a dark world and to tell people that we are Christians when they ask, ‘What’s so different about you?’ We’re like, ‘Well, we’re Christians and we love the Lord.’ That’s our opportunity to witness to people. We just feel like this is where we belong – ‘This is who we are and let’s just go for it!'”
In spite of their fast-paced, star-studded careers, Nick, Joe, and Kevin seem to be looking for the same things that most teens are. “Like all people our age we are trying to find someone special that we can share time with in our busy lives,” they recently wrote on their MySpace. They admit it is hard to have relationships when they live life the way they do. Many times they find themselves on different continents than their friends. This makes it hard to take a girl they like to the mall, the movies, or a school dance.
So what kind of girl does a international, teenage, millionaire, heart-throb date? Well, the list of girls linked to the Jonas Brothers includes famous starlets such as Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Camilla Belle, and Taylor Swift. But you will find a common trait among many of the girls that are seen hanging out with Nick, Joe, and Kevin: most of them have stated publicly that they are saving sex for marriage.
Why should this be important to these three TV, movie, and rock stars? Although they are rich, famous, and can date nearly anyone they would want, the boys have decided that chastity is the most important value to them; both personally and in dating relationships.
Not too long ago, in an interview on the Disney Channel, the Jonas Brothers told the world that they wear “purity rings” (also called “promise rings”) to symbolize their commitment to living a chaste life until they are married.
Pushing Them Away
Almost immediately, the press began to make a huge stink about the rings. Some news reporters tried to discredit them. Others brought on experts saying that it is not possible to be a mentally healthy teen while making a promise like this to abstain from sex until marriage. Some people accused the boys of using this as a publicity stunt. It seems that the news media and gossip columnists can’t believe that three famous, wealthy, good-looking guys could possibly survive Hollywood careers while holding on to their virginity.
But the boys defend their position. They do their best to keep their private lives private. They try to keep their relationships with young women on a friendly level. This is a very mature attitude, because it shows they realize that at their age, and with their busy schedules, it doesn’t make sense to let a relationship get too serious. Nick explained the rings in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, “To us the [purity] rings are a constant reminder to live a life of values. It’s about being a gentleman, treating people with respect and being the best guys we can be.”
That’s Just the Way We Roll
Chastity and purity rings all of a sudden became very popular. From that point on, most of the press for the band consistently included discussions about the rings. A very famous journalist named Barbara Walters wanted to interview the boys. Walters did her best to get the boys to slip up or back down about their purity rings, but they would not break. There was one other thing that was very evident in their interview with Ms. Walters: these brothers stick together.
Band of Brothers
This is the secret to their success both musically, and morally. They rely on each other, protect each other, and find strength in knowing that they’re living chaste lives together. When one of them was offered a part in the movie Camp Rock, their father insisted that all three be included. Their father knows that if they stay together, they can survive the crazy rat-race that usually ruins teen stars.
Strength in family
Another source of strength these guys have is their parents. Dad and Mom are their best friends. And they not only give them advice, but they also know the ropes of performing in a band and going on tour. Their parents were performing Christian artists for many years. Dad is actually their manager and vocal coach. “There’s times when he’s Dad and times when he a manager,” explains Joe. “He’s a ‘dadager’… He’s awesome. We love our dad.” But what the brothers especially admire about their parents are their values. Their parents have dedicated their lives to standing up for Jesus and for Christian values (Dad is a Christian pastor and Mom is his #1 helper). They have also shown the boys that, in spite of the fact that they are not perfect, they can walk the talk, and help their sons walk it too.
“Our family is really close,” said Joe. “We kind of built our whole foundation on making sure that our family is really strong. They’ve always been there for us… That’s why we decided to go (on tour) with our own family bus.” Hanging out with Mom and Dad may not seem very cool to many teenagers and pop stars, but the Jonas Brothers have shown that family can give us strength to live up to our values, even when the attraction of easy, loose relationships seems so powerful.
Keeping All the Promises
The Jonas Brothers have shown us that the best way to keep a commitment to God and to their future spouses is to surround ourselves with brothers (and sisters) who share the same values and who are striving to live a life of faith in God. They acknowledge that despite all their wealth, fame, and good looks, the best gift they can give their future spouses is the complete gift of themselves.
Nick, Joe, and Kevin also realize they have a responsibility, even in the midst of so much success. They can give hope to others. If they can live a life of purity and chastity amidst the glitz and glam of Hollywood and rock-stardom, they give hope to teenagers everywhere. Girls deserve to know they are worth waiting for. There’s no denying that this is a big part of the success of these brothers.
Why are boys so attracted to girls? And why are girls so attracted to boys? Because we are made in the image of God. And God is love. God is relational. God, within his very being, lives in a relationship of love (He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.), and God lives in a relationship of love with his creatures. So, like him, God made us to love. We are made to love him, and we are made to love others.
One of the most special ways to love like God is the love between a man and a woman. In married love, spouses dedicate their lives totally and exclusively to each other. In married love, a boy and a girl are called to be the living expression of God’s love for the other person.
Built on Friendship and Respect
But this type of love does not just happen by a physical relationship. It is built on friendship. It is sustained by respect, kindness, and patience. It only truly works when there is total commitment, after a sustained period of getting to know each other and respect each other. When we put the physical relationship before there is a solid friendship and respect, and before there is a total commitment, we find that love does not last. It simply ends in broken hearts.
Something We Can Learn
So, guys, show tenderness to the girls, but show respect. Show each girl you really can wait. You may find that it’s not just the Jonas Brothers that the girls are swooning about (although they might not admit it … until they really trust you.) And girls, continue to believe in that special someone. There are good guys out there, guys worth waiting for. Hold on, and God will bless your love.