Which crown, Carrie Prejean?

It was an exciting moment. Carrie Prejean’s turn had arrived to answer a question from a judge during the final round of the Miss USA pageant. When the question came, Carrie’s stomach turned. The judge wanted to know what she, as the reigning Miss California and the potential Miss USA, thought about “gay marriage.” She knew what the man wanted to hear. But she also knew what she truly believed.

Carrie wondered: should she give the popular answer or speak her conscience? She quickly prayed for guidance.

We’ll get to her answer — and its aftermath — in a minute. But first, let’s take a quick look at Carrie’s life leading up to the Miss USA pageant. That will help us zero in on the point of this lesson: True marriage is worth defending … even when it costs you dearly.

Young love

Carrie Prejean was a shy child but, in high school, she became a four-sport athlete. Her softball team won a national championship. Then, encouraged by her parents, she joined a youth group at her evangelical Protestant church. She found that she loved to learn more about God, his love for her and his love for everyone. This knowledge became a source of deep joy for her.

Her parents and her church also taught her that her faith and her values would be challenged in the world today. She made a personal commitment to Christ and to her Christian values, prepared to deal with the challenges this commitment would bring.

You really think I’m pretty?

When Carrie was 17, some people began insisting that she enter beauty pageants. “I didn’t even know what a pageant was,” she told the press recently. But Carrie had always liked challenges and trying new things. The idea that she could be competitive in a beauty contest stirred her imagination.

Going for it

Carrie isn’t exaggerating when she describes herself as someone who can be very enthusiastic once she decides on a goal. She got the name of a woman who helps organize beauty pageants and called her. When the woman met Carrie, she seemed impressed. She explained the basics of the pageant and gave Carrie some information to look over and some forms to fill out. So it was that, at 17, Carrie entered her first beauty contest … and won!

College!

In college, Carrie continued participating in beauty pageants. She spent her freshman year at a state school, but after prayer and discernment decided that she wanted to attend a Christian college. She transferred to San Diego Christian College, a school known for promoting a strong faith life.

Carrie greatly enjoyed her new school. She saw the environment of faith and intellectual challenge as an opportunity to prepare for the future: She wanted to be a Christian leader. She wanted to help bring Christ to others and make a difference in the world. Most of all, she wanted people to know the deep sense of satisfaction she had found through a personal and prayerful relationship with Jesus.

Reaching out

Besides her studies and her beauty pageant preparations, Carrie also got involved in outreach programs to the handicapped and the hurting. She took part in a ministry to women exploited by prostitution and pornography.

Beauty strategy

During this time, Carrie’s attitude toward beauty pageants was, “Just be joyful and be myself. Be happy with who I am and try to show kindness to everyone else.” It worked. Her successes mounted with each contest. This past November Carrie won the Miss California USA pageant. She was also voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.

Prepping

Winning the Miss California USA title was exciting in itself, but it also qualified her for the Miss USA pageant. She decided to take a semester off from school to prepare for the pageant. She worked out, followed a demanding diet and studied many of the topics she might be asked about.

The Miss USA pageant took place in Las Vegas over a two-week period. Only the last day of the pageant, April 19, was shown on national television. Which brings us back to the question that changed her life.

Facing Down Fear

As the telecast began, the host named 15 finalists. Several rounds of competition followed until only five girls remained. For the final round, each finalist would have to answer a question from a celebrity judge. The girls picked judges’ numbers from a bottle and Carrie ended up with Judge No. 8 — Perez Hilton.

This man’s real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. He is famous for his abrasive personality and insulting commentaries on TV and the Internet. He is also famous for promoting changing the definition of marriage so gay couples can get “married.”

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage,” said Mr. Hilton. “Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

This was a loaded question. Perez Hilton was setting Carrie up to either cave in to popular pressure or make a fool of herself in front of millions of people.

Or so he thought.

At first, Carrie tried to soft-pedal her beliefs. “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

But as she spoke these words, she heard a still, small voice speaking to her heart. Which crown did she want more — the Miss USA crown or the crown Christ wanted to give her?

She interrupted herself in mid-thought. “And you know what?” she said. “I think that in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman — no offense to anybody out there — but that’s how I was raised and … I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Media Firestorm

As Carrie spoke these words, an immediate reaction rose from the audience. Most people applauded, encouraged by Carrie’s bravery and honesty, but there were also some boos. You probably already know that Carrie lost the contest.

Afterward, a famous television reporter asked her about Perez Hilton’s question. Carrie was surprised that such a famous reporter would want to talk to the runner-up rather than the winner. In her mind, what happened to her was simply a side story. She soon began to find out that this was not just a side story. It had already become national news.

Digging up dirt

In May, a celebrity-gossip blog ran a photo of Carrie partially undressed. Her back was to the camera, and the image was not especially racy by today’s standards, but the organizers of the Miss California pageant announced that they were investigating. Carrie, they said, might have her Miss California title taken from her.

Speaking in her own defense, Carrie stated that she had posed for the shot when she was 17 and pursuing a career as a model. She objected to the release of the photo.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

She has also pointed out that she was “naive and young” at the time of the photography and regrets having made the decision to pose for that particular shoot. Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage — which works to keep marriage between one man and one woman — spoke out in Carrie’s defense. “You don’t have to be a perfect person,” said Gallagher, “to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

“You’re fired!”

The media circus followed Carrie around for weeks. Then, on June 10, the final ax fell. Carrie was stripped of her Miss California crown. This was the title that had gotten her into the Miss USA pageant to begin with.The organizers of the Miss California pageant claimed Carrie had not been cooperative in carrying out her duties. Carrie disputed that claim.

“They don’t agree with the stance that I took [on gay marriage],” she said. “They don’t like me. From Day One they wanted me out, and they got what they wanted. … I was very respectful of people even when they slandered me and humiliated me,” she added. “I have not once stooped down to their level.”

With these words, and with her acceptance of embarrassing defeat, Carrie showed the world what Christian forgiveness looks like.

A Crown lost, a crown gained

Carrie may have been stripped of her crown as Miss California, but she certainly can stand tall. She has been given a crown of courage, even if many mock her and call her a hypocrite. She has stood up for marriage at a time when it is extremely important to do so.

Marriage really matters. It matters for all of society. Carrie has done her small part to witness to the beauty and truth of marriage.

Battles ahead

What does Carrie Prejean’s future hold? That remains to be seen. She still has many choices ahead of her.

One thing is for certain: The battle for the truth about marriage will continue. Legal experts foresee a very heated and difficult battle, because, with the approval of gay “marriage” in many states, the Christian view of marriage may be considered bigoted “hate speech” by government.

We Catholics, too, will be called on to defend marriage. Will we have the courage to stand firm as Carrie Prejean did — even when it means losing something we have worked hard for? When we experience loss, we can remember that nothing is truly lost when we stand up for truth.

On the contrary, we help others. Let us continue to speak the truth with love. Christ will give us our crown, and we will know the happiness of having helped others with our lives.

Bible Blurbs

“God created man in his image; …male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: ‘Be fertile and multiply’…”

Genesis 1:27-28

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

Genesis 2:24

“…for I will honor those who honor me…”

1 Samuel 2:30

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10

Catechism Clips

372: Man and woman were made “for each other” – not that God left them half-made and incomplete: he created them to be a communion of persons… for they are …complementary as masculine and feminine.

2202: A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their children, form a family. This institution is prior to any recognition by public authority, which has an obligation to recognize it.

1778: In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right.

2333: Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life.

2360: Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman.

Pope Quotes:

“… the need to avoid confusing marriage with other types of unions based on weak love is especially urgent. It is only the rock of total irrevocable love between a man and a woman that can serve as the foundation on which to build… a home for all mankind.

(May 11, 2006)

Marriage is engraved in the human being himself… man leaves his parents and is united to a woman in order to form only one flesh, so that the two may be a single existence.

(April 6, 2006: Meeting with young people)

The sexual difference that distinguishes the male from the female body is not a mere biological factor… man and woman, by becoming one flesh, can achieve authentic communion… and cooperate with God in the procreation of new human beings.

(May 11, 2006)

Thus, …marriage is not an invention of the Church: it is really created right in the moment that man is created, as a fruit of the dynamism of love in which the man and the woman find themselves and thus also find the Creator who called them to love.

(April 6, 2006: Meeting with young people)

Today the various forms of the erosion of marriage, such as free unions and “trial marriage” and even pseudo-marriages between people of the same sex… makes the body despicable, placing it… outside the person’s authentic being and dignity.

(June 6, 2006)

Saints & Heroes

Defended marriage, ‘til death did him part…!

Blessed Peter To Rot (1912-1945)

Peter, the son of a tribal chief, was one of the first of his tribe to become Christian. His family was from Papua New Guinea, in the South Pacific. He was always very smart, and was always a leader, both in school, and at sports.

When he got older, he was sent to school to become a catechist and teacher. He worked to teach and defend the Catholic faith. He later got married and became the father of three children.

In 1942, during World War II, the Japanese invaded New Guinea and imprisoned all of the missionaries who had been working there. Peter brought food to them in the prison camps.

In 1945 all religious activity was prohibited, but Peter continued to fulfill his duties in secret, including teaching, bringing people the sacraments, and hiding the Eucharist in a cave.

The Japanese decided they could win support of the local people by making it once again legal for a man to marry more than one woman. This had been outlawed when Christianity spread there. Peter openly and publicly opposed this legalization of polygamy.

One of his fellow villagers, a man who spied for the Japanese, wanted to take another man’s wife for his own. Peter went to the man’s house and reminded him that marriage was a sacred union that he could not destroy. The man listened to Peter, but became bitter and looked for ways to trap Peter and hand him over to the Japanese. Not long after, the man found out Peter had celebrated a Catholic wedding with two couples. The man had him arrested for breaking the laws about religious practice.

After several months in a prison and a concentration camp, he was murdered by two military guards who hated the Catholic faith. They injected him with a terrible drug and he died a vicious death.

He had told people he was prepared to die for his faith and his people, and so he did. And he became the first native from the South Pacific to approach canonization.

Her body crushed, but her faith stronger than stone…

St. Margaret Clitherow(1556-1586)

In the sixteenth century, King Henry the VIII of England wanted a son very badly. In order to have one, he divorced one wife, had another beheaded, and separated the Church of England from the Catholic Church because the Pope would not approve.

Following this, there were violent persecutions of Catholics, people who chose their loyalty to God and the church over the king, and who were willing to stand up and say the king could not simply dismiss the bonds of a sacred marriage.

Margaret was 15 when she married John Clitherow, a butcher. She had three children, and became a Catholic at 18. Her husband approved of her conversion, even though it could be dangerous.

Margaret became a friend to the Catholics of northern England. She even hosted secret masses in her home. She cut a secret escape hatch from her attic to the neighbors house, so priests and nuns could escape if soldiers raided her house.

Her love of her faith inspired her son to become a priest. He had to leave the country because it was illegal to be a Catholic priest there.

Eventually, Margaret was discovered and arrested, charged with harboring Catholic priests. She knew that if there was a trial, her children would be brought in to court, tortured, and forced to testify against their mother. Margaret also knew that if she refused to plea guilty or not guilty, she would be immediately executed, but her family would be spared a torturous trial. So she refused to plea.

She was sentenced to be crushed to death. Even her executioners were so moved that they could not kill her themselves, so they paid a few desperate beggars to do it for them. They placed a sharp stone behind her back, laid a wooden door on top of her, and piled rocks on the door until she was dead.

Margaret believed in the sanctity of marriage, and that no political pressure could sway her faith in God and love for his church.

Virtuous Verbiage Verification:

bigoted: utterly intolerant of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.

conscience: one’s best judgment, in a given situation, on what is right or wrong. It is our duty to “form” our conscience – this means to learn what is objectively right from wrong, so we can make the right choices.

discernment: a process in which one prays and listens to the Holy Spirit, in order to figure out what the will of God is.

enthusiastic: having or showing great excitement, motivation, and interest

happy/happiness: the sense of contentment, fulfillment, and being satisfied. We become “more” happy as we get closer to God, and we will only be completely happy with Him forever in Heaven.

marriage: the vocation (or life-calling) from God, to one man and one woman, empowered by grace through the sacrament of matrimony, to become united to each other physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This bond is permanent (until death), and it is exclusive (they only unite with each other, never with anyone else). The fruit of a true marriage is openness to children, through which a man and woman participate in the very life and love of God.

naive: inexperienced, simple-minded, lacking the knowledge that one learns from experience, gullible

right: 1) good, just, correct 2) a privilege one naturally deserves or is guaranteed by a government: “the right to life”, “inalienable rights…”, “the right to remain silent…”

slandered: defamed, had one’s reputation ruined by another’s false claims or accusations

surreptitiously: with sneaky and secret plans, especially related to an attack or a trap

Discussion questions:

1. What does it mean to be “tolerant” of others? Did Carrie Prejean say anything that was “intolerant” of others? Were Perez Hilton and the officials of the Miss USA/Miss California Pageants tolerant of Carrie’s religious beliefs? Does being tolerant require that you change your beliefs? Is it possible to “accept” a person without accepting their beliefs?
2. Does the Catholic church define marriage for one man and one woman because it hates homosexuals and wants to punish them for not “fitting in”? Or is the Church really looking out for what is best for ALL men and women?
3. Since God designed marriage to be “life-giving” and “procreative,” is it ok for a man and woman who are married to refuse to be open to having children, even if they are totally capable of doing so?

Journal Writing:

• Make a list of some of the things you believe in the most and feel the strongest about… the kind of things you would be willing to stand up for no matter what. Write about why you believe in those things, and if you think they mean enough to you that you would sacrifice your dreams or goals for what you believe in like Carrie did.
• Imagine you have a friend who lives in a country where there is no freedom of speech or religion, a place where this friend could be arrested for simply stating what he/she believes. write a letter to this friend and encourage them to hold on to their beliefs.

Debate:

Divide in two teams. The debate topic is “Does a government have the right to define marriage without taking into account the religious beliefs of the majority of its people? Is this a matter of separating church and state? Or is this a matter of government taking away some freedoms of religion and speech?”

Activity:

Write letters of support to Carrie Prejean. Offer her encouragement for the many more choices she will have to face as she continues to grow. Find out how to send them to her, or send them to us at O.F.I.A. and we will send them to her.